Friday Night Smackdown in Kansas City immediately begins as we see a face-off between Team Hogan (Roman Reigns, Ali, and Shorty G are with him while Rusev and Ricochet are RAW members) and Team Flair (King Corbin, Shinsuke Nakamura present with Randy Orton, Drew McIntyre, and Bobby Lashley on RAW.) Both Flair and Hogan get pops but Flair’s are more immediate, starting with his “limousine-riding” quantifiers and the Hogan pop waited until the name drop. Corbin got a pretty pop in front of his hometown crowd, prompting memories of an old conversation said to have taken place between Shane Douglas and Rick Rude in ECW: “I’m a heel everywhere but Pittsburgh, where I’m a babyface.” “No, Shane. In Pittsburgh, you’re a heel who doesn’t get heat.”
In a fair and honest assessment, Hulk ran wild while Ric seemed a little lost. Sami took the stick either as a lifeline or a regular scheduled part of the promo but it was hard to tell which. When the actual competitors went around the horn, Roman Reigns (for whom the face-to-face promo has always seemed an Achilles heel) and Ali (who gets little opportunity) did a great job of bringing the segment up to where it should be. When it comes down to a challenge of a 6-man tag team match later in the night (playa!), Hogan goes all in by calling Shinsuke Nakamura “ni-ban, young boy” and clowns Sami Zayn. Sami appeals to the crowd for their opinion and when they give their approval, he reveals both his neck issues stemming from a rough flight in and his replacement, Cesaro! Roman and Cesaro immediately get into it at ringside while Corbin lifts Ali up and bashes his back into the ring post. Team Hogan rallies as Shorty G and Ali hit dives on Nakamura and Cesaro during a triple team on Hogan and send them running.
Reaction: Pleasantly surprised by this segment. Combining Hulk Hogan and Saudi Arabia (which they’re not even failing to mention anymore like they have on previous trips) should have put a hole in this balloon before they started pumping it but some great work by the boys and Hulk himself brought it around. I’ve suspected for some time now that Ali is indeed “that dude” and this gave me some credence. Downside? “Shorty G,” a @#$%ing Olympic wrestler, is wearing basketball gear with a ruler built into the “G” on his logo. I’m actually not dead set against the name but too much weight is put on this gimmick.
The New Day vs Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler
On their way to gorilla position, Kofi Kingston and Big E are conversing with an injured Xavier Woods via Skype. Woods is slated to be out anywhere from nine months to a year. This is a shame because he hasn’t hit his ceiling yet as far as I’m concerned and this will certainly put a damper on that. The Achilles tear is mitigated, though, by the fact that Woods kills in on social media, fan events, and crossover “nerd” communities. His brand won’t suffer too much.
Anytime Ziggler and Kofi go at it in the ring, it’s like watching Jagger and Bowie get together and decide to do a little something for 10,000 party guests. Robert Roode is a rock solid hand as you can ask for and Big E (like the absent Xavier Woods) has upped his in-ring skill considerably in recent years meaning that Kofi doesn’t have to carry the load in New Day matches like he may have in the beginning. Ziggler gets Kofi with a blind school boy roll up.
Your winners by pinfall… Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode
The Revival come out to attack The New Day while RooDolph celebrates. It’s a 4-on-2 until Heavy Machinery come out to even the odds and run the heels off. Lucha House Party and The B Team were watching on the monitors throughout.
Reaction: Far too short for the guys in the ring but it goes with the territory of Smackdown becoming the “eyes on” show.
Rey Mysterio, Dominic Mysterio, and Cain Velasquez are shown offering each other support in the back.
A recap of recent WWE programming shows us Braun Strowman’s beef against the lineal world’s heavyweight boxing champion, Tyson Fury. Fun fact: MMA and boxing historians now believe that the infamous Brawl 4 All championship’s “lineal titleholder” to be either UFC Lightweight Champion, Khabib “The Eagle” Nurmagomedov, or none other than Tyson Fury himself (as Eric “Butterbean” Esch had lost boxing matches between his defeat of Bart Gunn at Wrestlemania XV and his MMA debut, a loss to Genki Sudo at the “K-1 Premium 2003 Dynamite!!” event.)
Lacey Evans vs Cameron Connors
Lacey grabs the mic and tells her opponent not to worry about any prospective beating since Lacey is far too genteel a lady to lower herself to likes of such a nasty competitor nor perform in front of the clodhoppers in a cow town like Kansas City. She tells the referee to start the match and, when the bell rings, she exits and begins walking towards the back. Just before the count gets to “ten,” Lacey slides back in and drops Cameron with a Woman’s Right. Ball game, Maggle.
Your winner by pinfall… Lacey Evans
Reaction: Remember when an unpolished Lacey Evans was brought up from NXT and put in matches with the hottest commodity in pro wrestling, Becky Lynch, after Wrestlemania? This is the sort of thing Lacey should have been doing on the main roster months before that.
Michael Cole has a word with Nikki Cross about her upcoming championship match with Bayley and tonight’s match with Mandy Rose. She says that Bayley is feeling the pressures of being a champion and lashing out while Mandy Rose is beautiful but they’re not in a beauty pageant; they’re on Friday Night Smackdown.
Reaction: Granted I didn’t see a lot of Nikki as the “little sister of SAnitY” in NXT but this seems to be an entirely different character and I’m not sold at all on her being at the top of the women’s division on either brand. They’re a bit starved for babyfaces on Smackdown, it would seem.
It’s the return of Firefly Fun House! From the ashes, like a sweater-clad phoenix, Bray Wyatt welcomes us back to where friendship never ever ends. Seth Rollins literally burned it down on RAW two weeks ago and not everyone made it out in one piece. We’re at the funeral for Ramblin’ Rabbit! Everyone says a few words but, after opening the casket with his “heal” hand, Bray restores him to life with a kiss! It’s a miracle! But to Mercy the Buzzard, it’s lunch. Oh Mercy, you scamp!
Reaction: I don’t think anyone wanted FFH to go away but maybe it shouldn’t have been burned down in the first place if it did absolutely nothing for the feud that might be blown off at a PPV half the western world says they’re boycotting and was brought back after two weeks. If this is intentional meta-referencing for how the product has been over the past few years, they’ve done a perfect job but for who?
Drew Gulak vs Kallisto (w/ Lucha House Party)
Drew Gulak reminds us all as to who is and that he was interrupted last week in his Powerpoint presentation. He starts explaining how Braun Strowman can lose to Tyson Fury. He gets about as far as he did last week when Kallisto hits him with a dropkick. Gulak rallies to get Kallisto into position for a Burning Hammer but BRRAAUUNN!!! The Monster Among Men comes down to the ring and a distracted Gulak falls prey to a Salida del Sol. Braun picks the bones of Gulak with a powerslam and taunts Tyson Fury via the hard camera.
Reaction: It is what it is. Gulak gets his schtick over, Lucha House Party gets some TV time, and Braun hypes Crown Jewel.
Michael Cole welcomes Daniel Bryan to the ring for an interview. It has been a rough few weeks and months for Daniel. He was falsely accused of heinous attacks on Roman Reigns and the real culprit was his best friend, Erick Rowan, who betrayed him. Last week, he pinned the Intercontinental Champion, Shinsuke Nakamura, but was reluctant to join in on the “YES!” chants. Is the “YES” movement back? Before he can answer, Sami and Shinsuke interrupt. Sami plays the video from nearly a year ago where Daniel declares the “YES!” movement dead. He says that they booed the “New Daniel Bryan” but Sami has known him for years and knows that the “New Daniel Bryan” is the “Real Daniel Bryan.” The fans are despicable and don’t share his values but he and Nakamura-san do. They’re all artists. Now that Daniel is at a crossroads, he can look forward with them or go back to being the fans’ “YES!” man. The crowd is a little lackluster and the tension seems to grow but there’s a good reaction when rejects a handshake and walks past.
Reaction: I was never a huge fan of Daniel Bryan as “top guy” but the fans in attendance kind of let us down here. Once the Brock/Cain thing is over, serious challengers include Roman, DB, and… ? Another run for “The World’s Toughest Vegan” would go over well.
Team Hogan is seen going over their game plan for tonight and Nikki Cross gets psyched up for her match.
Mandy Rose (w/ Sonya Deville) vs Nikki Cross
Sasha Banks and Smackdown Women’s Champion, Bayley, are at ringside for guest commentary. Mandy comes out strong, flattening Nikki and stays in control with stomps and stretch holds. Nikki kicks out of a fallaway slam and, when she’s tossed outside, Sonya Deville drops her with a right cross. Nikki Cross avoids the pump knee and gets the win with a neckbreaker and taunts Bayley in celebration.
Your winner by pinfall… Nikki Cross!
Reaction: Nikki actually looked a little slow on the draw in the match but the real story is Bayley sounding more confident and genuine on commentary than just about any time I’ve heard her before.
Cain Velasquez and Rey Mysterio come out and Rey recounts the beating of Dominic by Brock Lesnar and says that there is no doubt the he is a Mysterio. (A nice throw back to the much-less-nice paternity storyline with Eddie Guerrero.) He describes the awful feeling of lying in the ring as his child was being beaten and being powerless to stop it. Rey’s not exactly Daniel Day Lewis but it gets across. Dominic is getting better but they’re there about Brock. At Crown Jewel, Cain Velasquez is going to drop him again and put a scar on the other side of his face! Paul Heyman tells them “Tranquilo, amigos!” He says that Rey’s hired assassin is not going face-to-face with Brock Lesnar. Brock’s got better things to do… like beating the holy hell out Dominic again!
When we come back from commercial, the trainer really really really needs some space from Rey and Cain to evaluate Dominic’s condition. They should have been more concerned with watching the door. Brock Lesnar comes in, beats Cain with a trash can, and throws Rey into the wall. He gives Cain an F-5 on top Dominic on the training table and leaves the father, the son, and their champion broken.
Reaction: Great heat moment for Brock. Right now, I don’t know how he goes over at Crown Jewel or how Cain can carry the strap to any effect with Rey as his mouthpiece but “Anything can happen in WWE, pal!”
Roman Reigns, Shorty G, and Ali (w/ Hulk Hogan & Jimmy Hart) vs Cesaro, King Corbin, and Shinsuke Nakamura (w/ Sami Zayn & Ric Flair)
Great combinations made throughout the match. Roman Reigns and King Corbin is as solid a wrestling match as any fan could ask for even if some want to pretend otherwise and ready their beach balls. Olympian, Chad Gable, and Shinsuke Nakamura, with a legitimate MMA history, do some very impressive mat wrestling. The superhuman strength of Cesaro makes him a perfect base for Ali’s sick athleticism. The size advantage of Team Flair is put on display even without Lashley, Orton, and McIntyre there. Ali plays Ricky Morton and, when Roman is taken out by Corbin, it’s Shorty G who gets the hot tag and gets his stuff in on all three men! Roman gets the tag and gets a great few minutes with Cesaro. Everybody gets cleared out one-by-one by someone else’s signature move until The Spear hits Cesaro and Ali is tagged in to put him away with the 450 splash.
Your Winners by pinfall… the team of Roman Reigns, Shorty G, and Ali!
Reaction: Smackdown’s formula seems to be set with short matches with a big deal main event getting 20-30 minutes of quality work. Meet us all back here next week for the immediate fall out from Crown Jewel live from [redacted] at a special start time of 1PM!
