The Friday Night Smackdown 12/6 show starts with The Miz coming out for what is decidedly not Miz TV. He says that it WOULD have been, but Daniel Bryan has been missing ever since The Fiend dragged him into the ring last week, and Bryan was supposed to be his guest. Bray Wyatt interrupts on a live feed from inside the Funhouse to debut a photo of Bryan with his eyes crossed out and says that he’s upset that Bryan can’t play with him at TLC anymore. Now, he wants The Miz to play. Miz is wholly uninterested until Wyatt brings up the Funhouse word of the day, family, and says that he used to have a family but now has his chance to join a new family. He holds up a picture of The Miz’s family, and asks if he still doesn’t want to play.
The Miz runs off to call his wife and warn her. He plans to rush home to be with her and make sure nothing happens to them.
The first match of the night is Alexa Bliss versus Mandy Rose, a tough match for Corey Graves to have to call. Mandy plays such a great heel that she can even make Alexa Bliss seem sympathetic, and I find myself rooting for Bliss for one of the first times ever. Mandy is out for blood and out to make Bliss feel inferior, to the point where she even rips off Bliss’ false eyelashes. Both of their tag partners are ringside for the match, and a minor attempt at an interruption by Sonya Deville proves just enough to distract Bliss, who loses to Mandy Rose by pinfall.
Backstage, Drake Maverick is trying to ask Dana Brooke why she rebuffed his advances and yet went on a date with Batista. He wants to know what Batista has that he doesn’t have, something that Elias pops out of nowhere to gleefully enlighten him on in the form of a song. The song ends with Elias making a crude joke about Maverick’s wife, and an upset Maverick stomps off to the ring and tells him that he crossed a line by insulting his wife. He challenges Elias not to a match, but a genuine fight. Elias obliges and the result is utterly humiliating for Maverick. He gets spanked! At the end of the day, Elias hardly comes off in the wrong for laying out Maverick, who probably shouldn’t have been hitting on Dana Brooke if he loves his wife as much as he says he does.
Backstage, Miz is leaving with his luggage when he passes a room emitting an eerie red light. He goes into the room to investigate and finds it’s completely empty, except for that same family photo of The Miz’s family, but with Miz replaced by Bray Wyatt. Wyatt sneaks up behind Miz, delivers a Sister Abigail, and knocks him out. He lays the photo on an unconscious Miz and laughs. After a commercial break, a ref helps up Miz, who notices the photo is missing.
A fatal four-way tag team match will determine who gets to face The New Day at TLC for their titles, and New Day join at the commentary desk to observe the match. It’s the unlikely tag team of Mustafa Ali and Shorty G, Lucha House Party, The Revival, and Heavy Machinery. Heavy Machinery eliminates Lucha House Party pretty quickly, with Otis seemingly on an unstoppable rampage. Ultimately The Revival work together to take out Otis and eliminate Heavy Machinery, and it’s up to them and Ali/Shorty G. Shorty G goes on a pretty impressive rampage of his own that makes it seem like victory might be possible for these two, but his high-flying moves aren’t enough and The Revival wins. They take the mic to lay into The New Day and criticize them for their “gimmicks,” saying that they take their jobs seriously and find the pancakes, unicorns, etc. an embarrassment to the company and the legacy of the titles. The New Day seem unconvinced, just like me.
A backstage interview with Roman Reigns shows Reigns confident that Corbin and Ziggler’s plan to humiliate him tonight won’t come to pass. Instead, he insists he’ll be the one who gets to do the humiliating when he defeats Ziggler fair and square.
A promo with Sheamus reveals that he’s coming home to Smackdown. Exciting stuff.
Lacey Evans vs Haley Jones is up next. This is such a jobber match that Jones didn’t even receive an entrance; she appears in the ring after we’re shown a video package about the ongoing feud between Lacey and Sasha Banks. After a quick – and I mean quick – victory for Lacey, Banks emerges and tells her they have unfinished business. What follows is, more or less, a commercial for the United States Marine Corps that ends with Sasha fleeing the moment she feels like Lacey might deliver The Woman’s Right. As Lacey confidently tries to leave the arena, she’s blindsided by Bayley who hits her with a sucker punch of her own.
Roman Reigns and Dolph Ziggler headline the night. Reigns seemed determine to deliver a by-the-books win, but he’s interrupted by who else by King Corbin. What follows is every dirty trick you could possibly imagine, including but not limited to the porters who carry around Corbin’s throne ambushing Reigns. They manage to handcuff him to one of the ring posts and start pouring cans of dog food all over the big dog. Truly a moment that had me, and the audience by the sound of it, saying “oh come on, this is too much.
I’ve loved my pro wrestling for the past 50 years, but chose to turn it off when the cans of dog food were being unloaded on Reigns. Nah, I’m really not interested in watching such garbage…