The Royal Rumble is in less than a week, and here we are at our last RAW before the big event. It seems like the RAW roster has a lot at stake at Royal Rumble, so you know this is probably going to be a big night.
It starts with “The Monday Night Messiah” Seth Rollins and his boys – including the newly acquired Buddy Murphy, who surprised everyone by swooping in to save Rollins last week after being temporary de-commissioned by whatever Rowan has in that cage.
Rollins comes out to give his usual prophetic spiel before introducing Buddy Murphy as his newest apostle, thanking him for his help against Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe trying to “stop the future.”  He starts to offer a warning to anyone who opposes him, but gets rudely interrupted by Owens and Samoa Joe. They challenge him to a fight, introducing their own backup in the form of The Viking Raiders. A tag-team title match is set for later in the evening.
Rey Mysterio and Andrade are in a ladder match for the United States championship. Andrade and Zelina Vega have employed a lot of dirty tricks in their feud against Mysterio, even unmasking him as a means of humiliating and insult. Here they continue their streak of cheating to best Mysterio, where after a long match of going back and forth between the two, Zelina puts herself in harm’s way by climbing the ladder and refusing to move so that Mysterio can reach the title.
Andrade wins the title, and the two of them are intent on continuing to torment Rey Mysterio before someone wearing Rey Mysterio’s mask comes to his rescue. He unmasks himself and it’s Humberto Carillo, here to return the favor to his hero. Andrade and Zelina flee.
Next up is the champ himself, Brock Lesnar. Paul Heyman talks about how great Lesnar is and what a beast he is. The usual fare. He’s just inflating the already massive ego of his client when Ricochet comes out to interrupt. He says that the word “afraid” is not in his vocabulary, and he is going to fight for his chance to wrestle at Wrestlemania. Lesnar is about to dismiss him completely, but Ricochet asks “What’s the matter, are you scared?” Which sets him off and he quickly takes down Ricochet, takes the mic, and utters the words “not scared.”
“The Viper” Randy Orton, is also here and ready to talk some smack. And wrestle Drew McIntyre. After a long slog of a match, AJ Styles and his little posse come out to attack McIntyre, who is saved by Orton with a steel chair. A reluctant moment of solidarity between Orton and McIntyre ensues before Orton surprised McIntyre with the RKO. McIntyre takes the mic and says “that one’s yours” and threatens to beat him at Royal Rumble.
Backstage, Charlotte insists she’s ready for anything and is going to win the women’s rumble match.
Next we have a Becky vs Kairi Sane match, where Asuka sits on the top rope to coach and cheer on Kairi, occasionally stealing Becky’s attention and distracting her. Kairi puts up a great fight, but Becky eventually gets her to tap out. This infuriates Asuka who puts Becky in an Asuka Lock before her and Kairi head backstage to let Becky know she’s not ready for Asuka.
They do a very nice video package to honor the life and legacy of recently deceased Rocky Johnson.
Seth and Buddy Murphy have their tag-team match that got set earlier in the evening. It still seems hard to believe that Seth and Buddy Murphy came out of this match victorious; the Viking Raiders are total brutes and Murphy’s only been an apostle for two hours, but lo and behold, they are our new tag team champions.
Up next is a very unexpected, highly creative and fun segment: “The Monday After The Weekend Update,” hosted by the Street Profits. It’s a parody of Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update segment, where the two make jokes about some of WWE’s roster as well as about a few non-sequitur things. Definitely a highlight of the episode.
Matt Hardy is back! I guess he’ll be at The Royal Rumble, and he comes to RAW to face Rowan and his insidious, mysterious cage. I am absolutely desperate to know what is in that cage. My best guesses so far are a mutant rat, a chupacabra, and a clone of himself Rowan is growing. Realistically, however, I think the writers have yet to decide what’s supposed to be in there. Rowan tries to show it to Hardy and then tried to take it out, but it bites him again and he slams the cage around in a rage. He beats Hardy, and that’s that.
And now for the main event we’re all waiting for, I guess: the mixed tag match between Lana and Bobby Lashley and Rusev and Liv Morgan. Seeing Morgan back in action is an absolute delight, and I’m happy she’s here. She seems to have an edge on Lana thanks to her sheer determination and that little bit of craziness that defines her style. In the end, Lashley and Lana manage to overpower Rusev.
And that’s it for our RAW superstars before the Royal Rumble!
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