Wrestlemania 37 (Night One)
It’s been a long time since live fans got to see a WWE event… and they had to wait just a little bit longer than they planned. Mother Nature gave us a weather delay as the giant augmented reality Buccaneer skeleton wasn’t much help in protecting the ring from very real rain. Some reports are coming in that fans were told by Raymond James Stadium to leave the stadium as the show was being cancelled or postponed only to be told (as per the usual) that there was no re-admittance. Hopefully these people are properly refunded.
Vince McMahon himself comes out with the roster to welcome back the fans and Bebe Rexha gives us America the Beautiful complete with conservative two-plane flyover.
To measure out the delay, quick backstage interviews are held to kill time as Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley almost start their title match early, Seth Rollins condescends to Mike Rome, and Michael Cole and JBL eat up time wherever they can. We even get a “You aren’t even on tonight” moment as Kevin Owens is on hand to run down his extensive history with Sami Zayn.
When we’re officially underway, Titus O’Neil & Hulk Hogan come out to less-than-explosive pops on but play off each other pretty well considering the expected awkwardness of the situation and their personal history.
Drew McIntyre vs Bobby Lashley (c) for the WWE Championship
I’m not a big fan of how much “deserves” gets tossed around by wrestling fans. That said, Drew McIntyre getting the first entrance with big pyro and a real fan pop for the first match in over a year was a nice touch for the guy who had his career’s biggest moments in a converted performance center. Lashley’s entrance pyro was absolutely sick with simulated lightning and probably the best use of the AR feature WWE has been using.
Both these guys have been subjected to the labeling of “bland” but this match carried in everything that we watched but didn’t really feel over the past few weeks. As much as MVP is responsible for Lashley’s success (in storyline and out,) Drew and Bobby gave us palpable emotion in their body language, their moves, and their exchanges where they are insistent in getting proper respect from the other while showing none in turn. Also interesting to see a lot of suplexes and submission attempts by Drew while legit world-class grappler and MMA fighter, Lashley, kept to the more traditional pro wrasslin’ moveset of clotheslines and high impact slams. Both men are kept strong as Lashley took everything Drew had, including three Future Shock DDTs, an outside plancha onto both MVP and Bobby, and a lengthy kimura attempt. Meanwhile, Drew was distracted during his Claymore set up, allowing Bobby to gain the final advantage. Drew never taps out but rather passes out in The Hurt Lock.
Winner and still WWE Champion: “The Almighty” Bobby Lashley
Titus, Hogan and the nWo get a “Ding dong! Hello!” from Bayley but leave her hanging as far as appearing on her talk segments.
Women’s Tag Team Turmoil Match
This is a gauntlet match for a WWE Women’s Tag Team title opportunity on Night Two. Carmella & Billie Kaye vs Naomi & Lana start us off in a storm of sequins. Billie pins Naomi with an assisted rollup to bring Riott Squad out. The recently-back-from-injury Ruby Riott and Twitter-beloved Liv Morgan make the most of their time tonight, looking very crisp. This time, Carmella and Billie’s assisted rollup is caught by ref. He breaks it up and Billie gets caught with a sandwich splash that ends her night. Carmella too but not before she kisses Liv goodbye with a superkick.
Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke make their way down the ramp and mostly on their feet despite an unscripted tumble by Mandy. Team Blonde Bombshell really takes it to the alt girls but, after Dana hits a Swanton onto Liv Morgan, the pin attempt is reversed into a small package for Riott Squad to advance.
Bad news is that a fresh Natalya & Tamina are up next. After getting dominated for a bit, Riott Squad manages to isolate Tamina with great tag work but “nobody’s meana than Tamina ” and she’s just too strong. When Nattie is tagged in, they hit the Hart Attack and Nat’s poised for a sharpshooter. But no. She tags Tamina to have her Wrestlemania mini-moment and hits the Superfly Splash. Ball game, Maggle.
Winners: Natalya & Tamina (Will face champs, Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, on Night Two)
Seth Rollins vs Cesaro
A hilarious “political ad” video package plays after Seth’s entrance. Cesaro comes out to a great pop and, throughout the match, the commentary is about how much they’ve been talking about Cesaro’s potential and for how long. If ever there were two guys whose athleticism and polish could showcase each other, it’s these two and they deliver as expected.
Once the bell rings, Cesaro tries for an immediate swing. But Rollins is too smart and turns the tables by dusting off the ol’ buckle bomb. More vintage Rollins with a Superplex into Falcon Arrow. (That really needs to beat someone someday.) A bit goofy but Cesaro beating his personal best of 22 rotations on the giant swing is a theme in the match. His first attempt gets him nine swings but right into a Sharpshooter. Rollins foregoes the frog splash for a corkscrew splash at one point. Neutralizer and The Pedigree are kicked out of. Neat moment comes when a Shining Wizard is ducked but Seth hits an “a-ha” stalling back kick to get some smarmy hit. The stomp gets avoided and Rollins is lifted up onto Cesaro’s shoulders for the much beloved no-hands airplane spin. If they both weren’t dizzy enough, the Swiss Cyborg gets his 23 spins on the giant swing and The Neutralizer ends the match.
Winner (of his first ever solo match at a Wrestlemania) Cesaro
Kayla Braxton is in the back with those dirty dogs, Dolph Ziggler and Bobby Roode. She asks the Smackdown tag champs about the RAW champs putting the titles up against an unknown like Omos. Ziggler gives New Day props but he and especially Roode know AJ so well. They say to never bet against the phenomenal one.
The New Day (c) vs AJ Styles & Omos for the RAW Tag Team Championship
Big E is there to do The New Day intro live and, man, does it just feel right. Interesting match as New Day continue to work in the heel role throughout while AJ does the heavy lifting for the far greener Omos. Kofi goads AJ into going out first and he takes the bait. New Day cuts the ring in half to isolate AJ (which Xavier Woods narrates for for the commentary desk and the ringside fans.) Omos sure isn’t dislocating his shoulder reaching for any of these tag attempts. Still, New Day is doing everything they can to stop AJ’s desperate attempts. A lucky break sees AJ kick Kofi out the ring and Xavier can’t stop him from the top turnbuckle. Ricky Morton no more, he makes the hot tag. Big pop for Omos as he comes in and no sells everything. New Day is thrown around effortlessly. AJ hits a phenomenal forearm off Omos’ shoulders to help out. Ripcord Sky High by Omos makes for a one foot cover at AJ’s behest. With his first WWE tag title win, AJ has joined the Grand Slam club.
Winners and new RAW Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Omos
WWE 2K22 is hyped and fingers are crossed that they take as much time as they need to make it happen.
Shane McMahon vs Braun Strowman in a Steel Cage Match
Jerry Lawler is brought in for guest commentary. Big pop for Braun. Shane holds the door shut with his foot and, while Braun jostles it, Elias & Jaxson Ryker go after Braun with chairs to the legs. King loves the strategy of taking away the big man’s base. Braun drags himself inside the cage where Shane unloads with the chair over and over until Braun catches a swing and pulls it away. Shane-o-Mac uses quick fisticuffs and leg kicks to stick and move until shoved down by his face. Shane sees that he’s in trouble and scrambles to escape any which way he can. Not fast enough as Braun gets to giving out those hands. King happily points out how appropriate the pirate theme of the stadium is now that Shane has a “sunken chest.” Taking out the injured leg again allows Shane to escape? Nope. He’s gonna go coast to coast first! (Hey, it’s what we tune into a Shane match for.)
Elias and Ryker try to help Shane over the top but Braun cuts them all off. Somehow, Shane finds a tool box in a horse feed bag and knocks Braun down. Like an idiot, Shane sticks his hand through the cage to taunt Braun and gets got. Braun rips open the cage and pulls Shane back inside, up to the top and throws him to the mat below. “Who’s stupid, now?!” Braun rallies everyone who has ever been called “stupid” to a pretty good response and hots the running powerslam.
Winner: Braun Strowman
Bayley stops in at the announce table. Michael Cole tries to explain to her that Hulk and Titus weren’t out on the floor because they were about to be honored on the entranceway as 2020 HoF inductees. Jushin Liger and William Shatner aren’t available to be on stage and are instead put up on the jumbotron when announced. The nWo gets a special entrance to the biggest pop, of course.
The Miz & John Morrison vs Damian Priest & Bad Bunny
Booker T comes on down for some guest commentary when a few dozen Easter bunnies hop down to the ring. The commentary team questions what, exactly, is going on. (Except Booker who simply tells them “It’s showmanship! Be quiet and watch it play out.” LOFL.) These random rabbits are out to hype… Miz and Morrison? Yeah, that’s right. The 3-time tag champs come out lip syncing to “Hey Hey Hop Hop!”
Damian Priest entrance choreography is a little less like The Warriors than it is West Side Story but Bad Bunny rolls in on a semi truck to his own track. We’ve been hearing that he’s been taking his training seriously but now it’s time to find out.
Miz wants Bad Bunny and Priest tags him in. Miz sticks his chin out to taunt him but gets a stiff jab when he turns around to taunt Priest. Bunny manages to score some combos to frustrate Miz. I’m never all that happy to see “the outsider” showing up the established talents but Bunny does a good job and it really does look like a skinny guy with a lot of heart getting into a fight outside the club. Miz uses his size and experience but gets schooled for it as often as not. Bunny’s got a lot of fight but not enough to take both Miz & Morrison (and the spinaroonie Morrison does right in front of Booker T.) Once Priest gets in, he cleans house as expected. Bunny still wants some and the team hits stereo Falcon Arrows! Bunny assists Priest in a dive and then does one himself off the top turnbuckle! Too much fun gets Priest a skull crushing finale but Bunny saves him before hitting a Destroyer on Morrison! Cross body Doomsday Device on Miz and Bunny gets the pin!
Winners: Bad Bunny & Damian Priest
Bianca Belair vs Sasha Banks (c) for the Smackdown Women’s Championship
Big pyro for Bianca with the screen still proclaiming her as the “EST of NXT.” Crowd alternating between Let’s go Sasha and EST!
The biggest “Wrestlemania Moment” of this match comes fairly early on. I’m a sucker for a good press slam and this is easily a top three in history. I beseech anyone who fails to give this match a proper watch to at least find a clip of this moment as it’s one of the most impressive displays of strength that I’ve seen in a wrestling match.
Bianca out-powers and even manages to out-athlete the champ so Sasha gets crafty. The hair comes into play a lot but it never becomes a crutch in the match. Sasha uses it to pull Bianca into some Muay Thai knees but another attempt sees Sasha pulled straight into a ring post. As the match goes on, the more it becomes a showcase for Bianca with feats of strength like a triple powerbomb and acrobatics like a standing shooting star and 450°splashes. A little bit of jockeying with the hair (including a whip that leaves a mark across Sasha’s ribs!) but Bianca hits the KOD for the win and a long overdue “main roster” championship.
Winner and new Smackdown Women’s Champion: Bianca Belair
[For some extended feel good, watch the post-Mania interviews with Peacock/WWE and Bianca as the genuine emotion and humbling gratitude she shares will make you believe in wrestling in ways you may have forgotten. I know it did for me.]
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