The Year was 2003. Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France, iTunes was launched in many households and one of the most underrated WrestleMania’s of all time took place (XIX, for those wondering). Chicago took home the Academy Award for Best Picture for the previous year, as the global box office chugged along, earning record numbers thanks to some guy named Peter Jackson and some wacky film about a ring. I watched over 110 films for 2003, ranging from the best, to the worst to the absolute mediocre. Here, I rank my personal Top 10, my least favorite and a few honorable mentions of the year. So, hop aboard The Black Pearl, strap on your Gibson SG and just keep swimming. This…is 2003!
Full List on Letterboxd: https://letterboxd.com/popculturetommy/list/2003/
Song to Blast: Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard (Ocean Avenue)
Author’s Note: These are just my opinions. Friendly and respectable discourse is always welcome. Also, minor spoilers, of course.
But first, let’s discuss…
The Room
Starring: Tommy Wiseau, Greg Sestero, Juliette Danielle
Directed by: Tommy Wiseau
Where to Watch: You gotta buy it, cause Tommy Wiseau needs that monay!
Some people claim The Room is the best-worst movie ever made and it is impossible to argue. This is going to be just a short spurt, as I think everyone should go out of their way to see this movie in its entirety. Clips do not do it justice. Everything is wrong here, and yet, it is impossible to look away. The Room is unintentionally the funniest movie ever made and I make it a yearly watch. Hell, I just saw the 20th Anniversary showing in theaters. Most importantly, The Room poses one hell of a question: if this movie is as enjoyable as most of us find it…is it really as bad as we say?
10. Shattered Glass
Starring: Hayden Christensen, Peter Sarsgaard, Chloe Sevigny, Rosario Dawson
Directed by: Billy Ray (not Cyrus)
Where to Watch: Tubi (Free), Freevee (Free), Most Rental Platforms
Long before the thrilling tales of real life journalistic drama in films such as Spotlight and She Said, the world was given the exciting story of all around prick Stephen Glass. For those not in the know, Glass was a man who worked for political magazine The New Republic, where he was found to have completely fabricated many of his stories. Shattered Glass paints Glass as he was: egotistical, selfish and hungry for power and notoriety. Director Billy Ray crafts an interesting and gripping drama, captivating even those who are familiar with the story with a “what’s going to happen next” mentality. Hayden Christensen proves he can carry a film with the right director, sniveling and bullying his way to get what Glass wants. This might be an unorthodox pick, but I promise, this film is an underrated gem that deserves more attention. I promise you, this review is fictitious or fabricated.
9. American Splendor
Starring: Paul Giamatti, Harvey Pekar, Hope Davis, Judah Friedlander
Directed by: Shari Springer Berman, Robert Pulcini
Where to Watch: Max (Subscription), Most Rental Platforms
Back to back unique biopics start off this list! Here we have American Splendor, a unique look at comic book writer Harvey Pekar. American Splendor can best be described as a wacky insight into a strange and unhinged man’s mind. And that’s not a bad thing. Giamatti is electric, turning the most ordinary experience into the extraordinary (to quote my friend, Ryan). The art direction is off the charts, a look many have tried to duplicate since, failing miserably. Another underrated gem on this list and you can hardly do better than it.
8. The Last Samurai
Starring: Tom Cruise, Ken Watanabe, Koyuki Kato, Hiroyuki Sanada, Timothy Spall
Directed by: Edward Zwick
Where to Watch: Paramount+ (Sub), Most Rental Platforms
I can hear you now: “He’s picking a flick about Tom Cruise as a samurai? Really?” You’re damn right I am. This film is an epic, showcasing the magic of filmmaking at its best. Cruise plays American Nathan Algren, a man held in captivity by samurai in Japan. He strikes up a friendship with Katsumoto (Watanabe), and what follows is a gorgeous character study of two men who could not be more different. There is action, romance and violence, but what truly carries the flick is the bond between these two men who break barriers unfairly put up. A decade later, 47 Ronin attempted to copy this film so poorly, it’s laughable. The Last Samurai also boasts some amazing shots and an all-timer score by Hans Zimmer. I would also classify this flick as an underrated gem.
7. Elf
Starring: Will Ferrell, James Caan, Zooey Deschanel, Mary Steenburgen, Ed Asner, Bob Newhart, Peter Dinklage
Directed by: Jon Favreau
Where to Watch: Max (Sub), Paramount+ (Sub), Most Rental Platforms
We’ve officially left the underrated gem region of this list and have landed smack dab into one of the most beloved Christmas movies of all-time territory. You all know the story. Buddy the Elf isn’t really an elf. He travels from The North Pole to New York City to find his long lost father, an absolute a-hole of a human being who doesn’t appreciate the meaning of Christmas. Naturally, hijinks ensue. What could have been a paint-by-numbers flick really shows out thanks to its all-star cast, led by Ferrell, all who truly care about the material. Elf is endlessly quotable, endlessly funny and endlessly sweet. There’s a reason it’s held up so well twenty years later and I see it lasting for decades to come. This one’s for you, Olivia!
6. Big Fish
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange, Helena Bonham Carter, Marion Cotillard, Steve Buscemi, Danny DeVito, Alison Lohman
Directed by: Tim Burton
Where to Watch: Most Rental Platforms
Ranking Big Fish at number 10 on my Ranking of Tim Burton’s Films list is one of my biggest “what was I thinking” moments. I was fully prepared to not revisit this film. I have seen it before, felt very lukewarm on it, and was prepared to move on. A random conversation with my father about mortality, however, brought me back for a rewatch and opened my eyes to a whole new experience with this film. What would you do with your life if you knew exactly when and how you would die? Would you sit there in fear, awaiting your demise, or would you go on a series of adventures that would be unbelievable to most? Big Fish examines these questions, while also sharing a bond between father and son (strained or not). The classic Tim Burton visuals are here, brighter than usual, but just as wacky. Ewan McGregor as a young Edward Bloom is fantastic, as well as the insane cast of characters he meets upon his journey. Tim Burton’s record past the 1990s may be spotty at best, but Big Fish is a highlight in his filmography.
5. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Starring: Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Ian McKellen, Andy Serkis, Viggo Mortensen, Billy Boyd, Liv Tyler, Dominic Monaghan, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, Sean Bean, Ian Holm, John Rhys-Davies
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Where to Watch: Hulu (Sub), Max (Sub), Most Rental Platforms
Put down the pitchforks. It needs to be said, I simply like The Lord of the Rings. I do not LOVE them but I surely do not hate them. They are some of the culturally relevant and fun films ever made, especially at a time when no one thought Peter Jackson could make these films works. But just because I do not hold up LOTR the way I do Star Wars or Marvel films, it does not take away from the fact that The Return of the King is what the term “epic” was created for. Amazing battles and visuals litter the screen. A sense of dread captivates you, not knowing exactly what will happen next, even if you are well-versed in the lore. It broke records, it was viewed millions of times by fans and casuals alike and has been a bible for how to correctly adapt and portray novels as cinema. The Return of the King earned 11 Oscars, an unthinkable task at the time. However, even the most dedicated fans have to admit…this film ends too many damn times.
4. X2
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Famke Jansen, Halle Berry, Anna Paquin, Brian Cox, Rebecca Romijn, James Marsden, Shawn Ashmore, Alan Cumming, Kelly Hu
Directed by: Bryan Singer
Where to Watch: Starz (Sub), Most Rental Platforms
Romanticizing a superhero flick seems passe now, but that does not take away impactful the truly great superhero films were in the early to mid-2000s. X2 (or X-Men II: X-Men United, if you prefer) is one of the top tier capes movies. Much like Spider-Man 2 (see ya next year), X2 delivers a far superior sequel to a pretty decent first outing. The lore of the X-Men are expanded upon, the war against mutants intensifies and the stakes reach ultimate heights. The film truly shines in the breakout performance of Wolverine by Jackman, who carries an already stacked cast to one of the better acted comic book ventures. The effects still hold up, the score still bangs and the ending still tugs at your heartstrings after all this time…even if the third film does ruin it a bit. I defy even the biggest haters of superhero flicks to try to hate it, because it did help set the standard for what the next two decades would become.
3. School of Rock
Starring: Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White, Sarah Silverman, Miranda Cosgrove
Directed by: Richard Linklater
Where to Watch: Paramount+ (Sub), Most Rental Platforms
I’m just gonna say it: this is Jack Black’s most iconic role, his magnum opus if you will. Part screwball comedy, part rock history lesson, School of Rock follows a failed rocker who shoots his last shot at stardom by posing as a substitute teacher to teach kids how to rock. What follows is, quite frankly, how everybody wishes school went, by not learning the monotony of arithmetic but instead learning why Led Zeppelin kicks major ass! Not counting Black (who I cannot say enough great things about), the kids are just fantastic. Casting was based on these kids actually being able to play the instruments, crafting a tight knit supergroup, if you will. Joey Gaydos shreds that guitar and the late Kevin Clark truly nails every drum beat. AT 13 YEARS OLD! And lest we forget the all-timer eponymous song that is played at the Battle of the Bands climax. School of Rock is the epitome of a silly but heartwarming rock-n-roll flick that teaches you the lesson of following your dreams and never giving up. Just, ya know, maybe don’t kidnap kids.
2. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Where to Watch: Disney+ (Sub), Most Rental Platforms
Quite frankly, the Pirates of the Caribbean dark ride at Disney theme parks are the most fun and recognizable rides on the planet. It’s no surprise that Disney wanted to cash in on that success by making a feature film, one well all groaned about and said would never work. Well, Disney, director Gore Verbinski and Johnny Depp had other ideas, crafting one Hell of a swashbuckling adventure film. I won’t go crazy on details because, let’s face it, you’ve seen the movie, but everything works here, from the set and costume designs, to the incredible score by Klaus Bedalt and the wacky and endearing characters created by the cast. Depp is on a whole different level here, perfectly portraying the role I’m sure he was born to play. Knightley and Bloom offer an exceptional romance between class and Geoffrey Rush chews the scenery as the devious Barbosa. This film rules!
1. Finding Nemo
Starring: Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe, Geoffrey Rush
Directed by: Andrew Stanton
Where to Watch: Disney+ (Sub), Most Rental Platforms
Disney comes through again, taking the top spot with one of Pixar’s best and brightest films, Finding Nemo, the tale of a lonely clown fish attempting to find his son in the vast ocean. Nemo is a film that sneaks up on you with each and every viewing. It may be bright, funny and cute from the get-go, but with more and more re-watches, you find yourself finding new ways to experience the film, from understanding every character’s point of view. This is a film everyone in the family can enjoy, offering many leagues of depth below the waves (see what I did there) for each age group to gravitate to. Nemo has stood the test of time for 20 years, a true high point in the Disney/Pixar partnership.
Honorable Mentions
Love, Actually, Memories of a Murder, Monster, Final Destination 2, OldBoy, Once Upon a Time in Mexico, The Animatrix
Documentary Spotlight
End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones
Subject Matter: An insight into the career of punk rock group The Ramones
Directed by: Michael Gramaglia and Jim Fields
Where to Watch: Unfortunately, Nowhere
The Ramones are the most prolific and digestible punk rock band of all time. With catchy songs that can only be described as earworms, this band kicked ass across the world for over 20 years (and have lived on in pop culture for nearly 50). End of the Century tells the story, and I mean THE WHOLE STORY, of the band, from the early beginnings to the rise to fame to multiple in -fights between bandmates. There are so many rumors and disagreements that went on behind the scenes, but on stage, they were as tight as ever. If you want to know how to get into this band, try your damndest to find this doc (it’s out there, somewhere). Hey, Ho, Let’s Go!
Not Listed
Dead End (released wide in 2004)
One Missed Call (released wide in 2004)
Open Water (released wide in 2004)
Worst Film of Year
The Brown Bunny
Starring: Vincent Gallo, Chloe Sevigny
Directed by: Vincent Gallo
Where to Watch: Don’t!
I would normally just say F Vincent Gallo and F The Brown Bunny, but that wouldn’t be much of a review, would it? What an absolute travesty of a film, from whatever “plot” you can take away from it to whatever the hell the director/writer/star calls cinematography to the 93-minute runtime that feels like 93 days to the real life fellatio Gallo made Chloe Sevigny perform on him for the “sake of his art”.
Honorable Mentions
Gigli, Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over, Puppet Master: The Legacy, House of the Dead, From Justin to Kelly, The Cat in the Hat, Dreamcatcher, Honey
