Personal Reflection: May is Mental Health Awareness Month and sadly, so many of us ignore our mental health. I certainly did for years. From the summer of 2011 when my dad passed away until summer 2019, I went through hellacious periods of depression, anxiety, self-hatred and just utter misery. Unfortunately, like many men, I thought I could just tough it out — whether by ignoring it, eating it away, drinking it away or just talking myself out of it.
I fooled myself into thinking these methods worked (spoilers: they did not). In the summer of 2019, after a series of extremely hard personal events, I felt like walking away from literally everything, because everyone would be better off without me … and I came very close to doing so. However, I offhandedly mentioned my feelings to my wife, and she put a dead stop to all of it. She got me the help I needed, and man did those first few months of therapy really, really help.
However, COVID hit and I put my mental health on the furthest back burner. I reverted to every bad habit I had prior to Summer 2019, and the result was much worse — I landed in the hospital at one point in 2021, and then spent Spring 2021 through Spring 2022 suffering from debilitating panic attacks that nearly broke me.
Since my hospitalization, I decided it was time to finally stop ignoring my mental health, to stop trying to drown it in alcohol, or bury it in food. I am in talk therapy every single week, and since May 2022, I have been on anti-depressants.
With a full heart and a clean mind I can tell you that my life is significantly better than it was two years ago, and I may just be in the best place mentally that I’ve been in since before my dad passed away.
The journey, which I’m definitely still on, is not an easy one. It requires hard work, emotional honestly, vulnerability, and the willingness to change. Again, not easy. But once you get on the path of proper mental health, things do get better. I still have emotions, I can still feel things and I still get down, frustrated and angry. But, I’ve found ways to get out of it. I’ve found ways to let things go. I’ve found ways to be happy. And it’s absolutely amazing.
I hope anyone reading this takes a moment to think about their mental health. If you feel that you need to talk to someone — I encourage you to take those first steps. It’ll be the greatest thing you ever do. Please check this website for NAMI, for more information.
I Read Comic Books Now: Free Comic Book Day:Â 2024 is the first time that I experienced Free Comic Book Day. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s essentially a day where comic book publishers put out free, promotional issues. It drives business to local comic book shops, who usually put up special deals for patrons. My daughter Sophie and I spent FCBD at our local shop, The Geekery in Matawan, NJ.
I snagged Marvel’s Blood Hunt/X-Men #1 special and Ultimate Spider-Man Universe #1 as well as Dark Horse’s Hell Boy/Stranger Things comic and Titan Comics Doctor Who comic. Sophie picked up two issues of First Second Books’ Investigators series, plus a special DC Comic (the name escapes me as it was a surprise release). It was a really fun experience to have with my daughter, and I look forward to experience this way more often!
Oh the Random Things You’ll Hear: This the name of my ever-evolving Spotify playlist that was created back in 2011 (currently at 2,841 songs). Every month I’m going to give you some recent cuts from this list that I’ve added that are in heavy rotation…
‘Saratoga’ by Eddie 9V – If you love good, old fashioned guitar driven rock ‘n’ roll with a bluesy, soulful, Southern tinge, you need to get on the Eddie 9V train. I’ve been a fan since last year’s “Bout to Make Me Leave Home.” While that banger was way more bluesy and Motown adjacent, “Saratoga” feels a lot more like Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats minus the horn section — in the best possible way.
“Somebody” by Old 97s – My appreciate of Old 97s began when they appeared in the Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special and blessed us with the song “I Don’t Know What Christmas Is (Christmas Time is Here).” “Somebody” is fresh off their new album American Primitive and it evokes the jangly guitar-driven sounds of the mid-00s dance punk scene but it’s still rooted in that very alt-country sound they’re known for. The chorus is one hell of an earworm.
“This is Shangrila” by Mother Love Bone: There was a very finite period of time in the early ’90s rock scene between the end of hair metal and the rise of grunge, where super funky West Coast hard rock had a moment in the sun. Whether it was Faith No More, or early Red Hot Chili Peppers, it was a pretty fun scene. Mother Love Bone was a band that was primed to break out from that scene, and given their funky, yet still very shreddy single “This is Shangrila” you could see why. It’s so fun and sun and toe-tapping. It’s an absolute BBQ anthem. Sadly, lead singer Andrew Wood passed and the band would be no more. However, we can hear most of Mother Love Bone in Pearl jam these days.
“Ocean Eyes” by The Gaslight Anthem: Gaslight’s cover of this Billie Eilish song (which I’ve never heard before) is absolutely sick. Brian Fallon eschews his usually Bruce-inspired vocals for a more melodically ferocious style. When he hits the words “ocean eyes” his vocals soar like a lion roaring on the plains. It’s just awesome to sonically behold.
‘Feel Like That’ by Sublime & Stick Figure featuring Bradley Nowell: This is a wild one. Sublime has moved on from it’s Sublime with Rome days, and have recruited late lead singer Bradley Nowell’s son Jacob as their new singer. Rome was really good and it’s sad to see him depart the band. However, Jacob is legit and this collab with the terrific reggae outfit Stick Figure is the perfect introduction. Having Brad’s vocals mixed play perfectly.
Reeee-watch: Logan:Â For the most recent episode of Bill vs. The MCU, I had to rewatch James Mangold’s 2017 film, Logan. I had only seen it in theaters, and quite frankly after that experience I could not bring myself to rewatch it. But, as things go with Bill vs. The MCU, when my partner on the pod Alex Marcus put something on the schedule, I gotta watch it.
I forgot that this film is easily in my Top 100 films I’ve ever seen. It’s the classic Western Shane blended with a comic book movie — but yet it’s so much more. It’s about generations, fathers and sons, fathers and daughters, realizing your own mortality, self-hatred, fear, love, loss and the sacrifice one is willing to make for those he loves. It’s so visceral and violent and over-the-top, yet when it comes to the relationships between Logan and Charles Xavier and Logan and Laura/X23, it’s so absolutely human and relatable. God, this move is just such a beautiful thing to behold.
Of Course, Wrestling:Â This week marks the five-year anniversary of All Elite Wrestling. Since this is my column where I talk about things I like/recommend, I’m not going to go through the motions of talking about the negatives of the company or what needs to be improved. What I want to talk about is this — why I watch it. I am someone, who since I first started watching wrestling, has been captivated by the in-ring athleticism and artistry of professional wrestling. The pomp, the circumstance, the promos, the angles, the catchphrases and taunts are all super cool and fun, but at the end of the day (like Terry Funk said) it says wrestling … W-R-E-S-T-L-I-N-G … on the marquee. And that’s why I love AEW. It’s wrestling. It’s great wrestling. I’ve nearly lost count and am completely spoiled by how many good to great matches I get to watch per year from this company. This is why I keep coming back, they have the best wrestlers doing what I love to watch — wrestling.
