Iris isn’t dead.
It doesn’t matter how much schmaltzy music CW plays over her stabbing. She isn’t dead. CW goes through parents like Kleenex but girlfriends are indestructible. Felicity ate more lead than Tony Montana and she was fine in time for the season finale. Laurel even straight up died and she can’t stop being resurrected in one way or another.
But that’s not the point.
Iris’s overdramatic faux kabob-ing sucked all of the air out of an up until that point well balanced Flash episode made possible by the return of the best character on the show.
Say it with me.
Captain…Motherlovin’…Cold.
It pains me to know that there is an alternate reality where Fox Executives weren’t desperate enough to greenlight a Prison Break reboot and Flash Season 3 is good. Just look at how fun ‘Infantino Street’ would have been without the Infantino Street.
Barry and Lenny breaking into Argus is everything that’s right with The Flash. You get your goofiness, quick banter, big crazy CGI villain, and hints at a much larger universe. For a window into the short but amazing Captain Cold plot, it’s time to bring back the classic Question and Answer article!
Questions are in italics.
Answers are not.
So alright. The team designs a Speedforce gun and Barry needs to break into an ARGUS facility to steal a battery to power the gun?
Not just any battery. The Dominator’s battery from the crossover.
Synergy.
Synergy.
Why doesn’t Flash just borrow the battery?
Layla won’t let him have it.
Makes sense. So how does he plan to get it?
Barry is going to break in with the help of…wait for it…Captain Cold.
The dead one?
The very same.
How does Barry find Cold?
Time travel.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HOW MANY TIMES DOES JAY HAVE TO BREAK THAT CUP?
At least one more time. So Barry and Snart have some fun back and forth and Snart agrees to help Barry.
So Cold is the villain in this episode? Is he going to double-cross Barry?
Nope. Captain Cold is just a good guy at this point.
Then who is the bad guy?
For an incredibly convoluted reason, King Shark is in charge of guarding the alien battery.
That’s expensive.
I know.
Is King Shark intelligent enough to do this properly?
Not particularly.
Is there any other security guarding the battery?
Yes. There is a large door.
Can anyone hack the door?
Only a master thief, the kind of person doors of this nature are built to keep out.
Does King Shark have any weaknesses?
If the room he is in gets below a certain temperature, he falls asleep.
Is that temperature subzero?
Nope. It’s 53 degrees. You could get there with a decent wall mounted air conditioner.
This battery, it’s in an incredibly poorly secured location being guarded by a very stupid man-shark. Is the battery dangerous?
Extremely. At one point, Cisco states that it produces more power THAN THE SUN!
And it’s being guarded by a dumb human fish?
Correct.
How do Flash and Snart get into the facility?
Originally they plan to sneak in using HR’s face-morphing technology.
WHAT OTHER USES COULD THE FACE MORPHING TECHNOLOGY HAVE IN THIS EPISODE?
HMMMMMMMM. BEATS ME. Moving on.
Is anyone fooled by the plan?
Two guards are fooled originally but then they ask Barry a question only Layla could know.
And he is prepared for this?
Nope. So Barry moves onto Blan B and punches the guards.
Very good. So Snart hacks the system and they are able to put King Shark to sleep using Snart’s cold technology. Does that cover the rest of it?
Well Barry does try to kill King Shark but Captain Cold talks him out of it.
Classic Barry. Killing all of his villains. What is this Season 2?
It’s Season 3 and it’s almost over, praise Savitar.
So I’m assuming Snart is throwing shark one liners out left and right?
Constantly. He even references how in Jaws the producers “couldn’t show the shark because they couldn’t afford to make it look good.”
That’s amazing.
I laughed out loud.
So how does the plan fall apart?
The door starts working again and Snart is trapped inside with King Shark.
Does Snart talk his way out of it?
Nope. He just bangs on the glass and prepares to die. At one point tells Cisco that if Cisco hacks very well, Snart will put in a good word with his sister.
Oh yeah, what happened to her?
Frequency but it’s canceled so who knows.
And Snart escapes?
Yup but then the real Layla shows up and arrests everyone.
Hey wait a second. Why can’t Barry just use his speed?
Oh right, there is a power dampening field in the ARGUS facility.
WHAT USES COULD THE POWER DAMPENER HAVE IN THE FUTURE?
HMMMMMMM. BEATS ME. Moving on.
So the dynamic duo is in jail. What happens to the battery?
Oh no. Layla lets them go.
Even Captain Cold: Famous Murderer?
Even Captain Cold. To be fair, Ollie’s son plays with Captain Cold action figures at one point in Arrow. People seem to have forgotten about original CC.
How do they make the gun without the battery?
Oh no. Layla gives it to them.
What? That thing produces more power THAN THE SUN.
I know. But they have proven that they are good guys so they can borrow it.
Wow. So does the gun kill Savitar?
Nope. It does nothing.
Of course.
