Release Date: July 28th, 2017
Starring (the voices of): T.J. Miller, Anna Faris, Sofia Vergara, James Corden, Jennifer Coolidge, Patrick Stewart, Maya Rudolph, Christina Aguilera
Director: Tony Leondis
Pre-Trailer Thoughts: We are beginning to hit the bottom of the barrel for ideas in Hollywood now. Emojis, which are icons for your phone that are both popular with kids, teenagers, and even some adults, have leaped off our phones and now have a merchandise foundation with pillows, stickers, and other items. Whoever decided that a full length film could be made out of these…”things” must have had a ton of confidence one day. Honestly, there is no reason for this thing to exist. -LJF
Pre-Trailer Thoughts: We’ve reached a point in history where a Lego Movie ripoff about emoji’s featuring Patrick Stewart as the voice of a talking poop emoji is pretty much the only thing that can save Sony Pictures from becoming bankrupt. – JTM
Rate the Trailer: 1 out of 5. I laughed once during this whole thing, even when I already knew the joke was coming. I’ll admit, the animation looks really good, but I would expect that in a film based on such colorful little text dudes. Aside from that, I have to say that this is a waste of a cast, and should be straight to video because while I’m sure it’ll have every kid itching to go see it in theaters, the concept doesn’t even deserve that kind of viewing. -LJF
Rate the Trailer: 1 out of 5. Everything about this movie is specifically designed to be as unappealing as possible. Not only is this more of a ripoff of the Lego Movie than I first thought, they even managed to copy and paste over the Wyldstyle character from that movie into another hacker/cyperpunk looking girl in this one. The main character, voiced by TJ Miller, has a voice like a cheese grater, fine for a side or recurring character but I don’t think I can take two hours of rooting for a smarmy douchebag. Just when I thought the trailer could not sink lower we get to see that a major part of the movie (which people will be paying to see) will revolve around what will basically be a long ad for Candy Crush, a stunning display of the worst aspects of capitalism all crashing together on a giant movie screen. I don’t think it’s too harsh to hope this movie crashes and burns hard enough that Sony Pictures sells all their major franchises to studios that actually give a damn. – JTM
Theater, Rent, No Thanks, Undecided? No Thanks. Nope, not a chance. -LJF
Theater, Rent, No Thanks, Undecided? Rent. To be honest this is really a No Thanks but I just know morbid curiosity will get the better of me one day and I’ll wind up watching this one late drunken night. – JTM
