Review by Matthew Widdis, Michael Vacchiano, & Rob Crowther IV
A picture is worth a thousand words and a thousand episodes are worth a tribute. The SmackDown milestone brought us old friends, old wounds, and new developments in preparation for Crown Jewel.
(Questionable Smackdown memory from the montage #1: Heidenreich “having a conversation” with Michael Cole in a random bathroom.)
Opening Segment: Truth TV
To open our show, Truth TV has been saved from “cancellation” (and they didn’t even have to change networks!) After a couple of dance breaks and a moment of confusion regarding the historic moments in truth TV history, R-Truth busts out the granny glasses and the index cards for his special guest, WWE Chief Brand Officer, Stephanie McMahon. After getting settled in, Stephanie is about to be interviewed when the house speakers play “Here comes the money!” and Shane-O-Mac returns to WWE programming and welcomes Stephanie to “The A Show.” A sibling squabble is starting when we hear a rare sound and see a rare sight. Vince McMahon is in the house and in the ring! He shrugs off a hearing aid joke and commences to give the people what they want: entertainment. And what could be more entertaining than the McMahon family in a Truth TV dance break? Probably loads of things but it was good to see everyone having fun.
AJ Styles & Daniel Bryan vs The Usos
To start out, we see AJ and D-Bry doing well against The Usos and, at one point, getting the Calf Crusher and Yes Lock in side-by-side and Jimmy and Jey barely getting to the ropes. As we go to the little window during commercial break, The Usos take over until Daniel goes on a tear. The Yes Man hits spots and gets the momentum until the classic miscommunication has the champion and challenger bumping into each other. AJ gets laid out and Daniel Bryan kisses Uso boots as a stereo superkick sends him down for the 1-2-3. AJ puts the stink eye on DB after a match where (surprise) an accomplished and well-acquainted tag team unit manages to defeat two rivals thrown together at random.
Winners via pinfall: The Usos
Backstage SmackDown GM, Paige, is talking with former SmackDown GM, Vickie Guerrero! All of a sudden, Teddy Long greets them without turning form the camera. He’s immediately eclipsed by John Laurinaitis giving us a dose of People Power until he gets a dose of “Excuse me!”
(Questionable Smackdown memory from the montage #2: Big Show riding his father’s casket like a boogie board as Big Boss Man drags it away from the funeral on a chain attached to Jake and Elwood’s Bluesmobile.)
Standing side-by-side across the entranceway stands Evolution: The Cerebral Assassin, The Animal, The Nature Boy, and The Legend Killer. Triple H starts talking about SmackDown’s success and Evolution’s legacy. Ric Flair woos and struts. Randy Orton stays in full-on heel mode to take smiling jabs at Ric and Big Dave.
Batista gets on the mic and you know he’s going over his time and that nobody minds too much. He says that he wanted to be at SmackDown 1000 for the brand he helped build. He wanted to be there because it was in his hometown of DC. He wanted to be there for the fans (whether they called him “Blue-tista” or not.) But, most of all, he wanted to be there for Evolution. How 13-time champ Randy was a unique and special talent since OVW. How 16-time champ Ric Flair is Space Mountain forever. And about how 14-time champ Triple H had changed the business, become the business, and done everything there was to do in the business… except beat him!
After a tense moment, they all hug it out but we’re left wondering if Batista was serious in recent interviews about coming back for a full-time run and whether that includes a stop on the Triple H retirement tour.
Rusev w/ Lana vs The Miz (WWE World Cup qualifier)
Jobber entrance for both athletes and WWE Hall of Famer and WWE World Cup qualified contender, Kurt Angle is ringside for commentary. Rusev commences to “machka” the bejeezus out of Miz for a bit until Aiden English comes down for some shenanigans that allow Miz to get the rollup with a handful of tights to get the win and a spot in WWE World Cup at Crown Jewel. Lana kicks English in the junk harder enough to give him an edge on soprano solos and Rusev goes Hulk to Aiden’s Loki at ringside.
Backstage Curt Hawkins rocking his pretty humorous merch is seen trying to convince Edge that they actually know each other from his days as an “Edgehead” with Zack Ryder.
(Questionable Smackdown memory from the montage #3: Billy and Chuck’s “Commitment Ceremony” that upset GLAAD after they had shoot sent them a lovely gravy boat from their registry.)
In-ring, it’s the return of The Cutting Edge! The man who has “done it all and won it all” lists some of his Smackdown career highlights like cashing in Money in the Bank to win the title from the Undertaker, his classic No DQ match with Eddie Guerrero (prompting a chorus of Eddie chants,) and his marriage to and divorcing of Vickie Guerrero. He lets us know that the former “Rated-R Superstar” is going to try to be the moral compass tonight and brings Becky Lynch down to the ring to big pop. He and Becky go back and forth about how he sees promise in her, how she had admired him, how she was going down a dark path but that he still saw the decency in her.
Becky tells him that she doesn’t like herself… but that she loves herself! The Hall of Famer gets told to stop condescending to The Champ and get out of her ring. The crowd nearly loses it when she tells the 11-time world champ not to hurt his neck going between the ropes. Charlotte has had about enough and comes down to the ring as Becky holds the title high with her chin out in defiance. The Queen is ranting about how Becky is afraid and runs away from fights, and spears her as soon as she gets close. The former best friends brawl until pulled apart by the road agents.
The Rock didn’t make it to DC but fired off a tweet about the origin of the term “Smackdown.”
An under-the-weather-looking John Cena isn’t there either but sent in a short video recounting his start on SmackDown.
The Bar vs. The New Day (SD Live Tag Team Championship)
Big E and Xavier represented the pancake posse in this one against Sheamus and Cesaro. As expected, these four guys brought it like they always do in a solid 15-minute contest. One particularly brutal spot was Big E’s uranage to Cesaro out of the corner, in which the Swiss Superman was planted down hard on the back of his head. Nasty landing. Other notable highlights included the The Bar’s doomsday European uppercut, Big E’s flying spear through the ropes, and Cesaro showcasing his freaky strength with a deadlift Gotch neutralizer on the 300-pound E.
After The Bar eliminated Xavier with some double teaming on the outside, all hell broke loose with the return of The Big Show! Shocking the crowd, the giant firmly laid out Kofi with a chokeslam through the announce table. Then back in the ring, a distracted Big E ate a Brogue Kick by Sheamus and was covered for the 1-2-3. The Celtic Warrior and the Swiss Cyborg are once again tag team champs! After the bell, Big Show celebrated with the new titleholders in the ring. Might we be seeing a new alliance forming on the blue brand? Either way, I sense a 6-man tag match between all these guys on the horizon. Crown Jewel, perhaps? Hmmmmm……
Winners and new SD Live Tag Team Champions, The Bar.
Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (World Cup Qualifier)
Our main event sees the return of the lucha legend, Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for a first time ever bout. The winner goes on to compete in the World Cup Tournament at Crown Jewel. Loved the pre-match Mysterio and Jeff Hardy backstage spot. Maybe a future fan favorite team up? I digress. (But I can dream) The early goings of this match were that of a Rockettes show: nothing but kicks! Most early offense was by Nakamura until Rey gets him out of the ring and strikes with an impressive “suicide slide” splash to the outside. Another vicious spot included a springboard cross-body from Rey that was met with a knee from Nakamura. Lots of various ‘ranas by Mysterio as the crowd chanted, “You still got it !” Other highlights included an epic reverse frankensteiner onto Nakamura and a 619/ Springboard Splash combo for the win. However, Rey’s celebration is cut short by the sound of a gong. We know what this means.
To close out the night, The Undertaker does his full entrance to the delight of the arena crowd before and understated (underwhelming?) “Rest in Peace” for D-X.
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