In ring
We have a hard open to the center of the ring! A lot went down on Monday Night RAW (arguably the three biggest things going down in the business right now) but the blue brand is separate and distinct tonight. Stephanie and Shane McMahon are in the ring with a seated WWE World Champion, Daniel Bryan, and his intellectual peer, Rowan. It’s contract signing time! Stephanie gets a dig in at the leather chair Daniel is sitting in. Amidst chants of “Ko! Fi!,” Shane and Steph frame the challenger, Kofi Kingston, as “an overnight sensation over the last eleven years,” as well as a former Intercontinental Champion, US Champ, tag champ, and multi-time pinner of the current world champ. Big E does his intro for Charlotte and out comes The New Day. Kofi does a victory lap to celebrate his first ever world title opportunity. He thanks his brethren in The New Day and the WWE Universe. The crowd breaks out in one of the rare instances of “You! De! Serve! It!” that doesn’t irritate me. Kofi says that, at FastLane, he’s going do what he’s waited eleven years to do: beat Daniel Bryan and become WWE Champion. Daniel signs and Kofi picks up the pen but…
“No Chance in Hell” hits the speakers and Mr Vincent Kennedy McMahon comes out to the surprise of everyone. He applauds Kofi’s career and his recent success in the world title picture but… he’s being replaced in the main event at FastLane! He’s being replaced by someone “more qualified” and “more deserving” than Kofi: the returning Kevin Owens! Kofi looks close to tears and Big E and Xavier Woods are infuriated, stating their case through the throngs of a crowd sympathetic to Kofi but elated to see Kevin Owens again. The announce team debate the veracity of Kevin Owens’ claim to the title shot as he sits down and signs the title match contract. Kofi walks off with the New Day vowing to “make this right” for him.
In the back
Kevin Owens tells Shane and Steph that he understands their confusion and frustration as well as kofi Kingston’s. He’s just glad that Vince recognized him and his talents. Because Daniel Bryan had a smug look on his face and because Kofi is just as deserving of the title shot, he wants to team with Kofi vs Daniel and Rowan… tonight! An irritated Stephanie says that they’ll consider it.
In ring
The Bar vs Jeff Hardy… & Matt Hardy?!?!?!
Matt Hardy is looking great physically and gets a pop for a second turnbuckle elbow across the arm wrench. The Hardy Boyz hit double team moves like it was just yesterday, including a Poetry in Motion variation that sees Jeff flying onto the 5x tag champs on the outside. The Bar regain control after dumping Jeff of the top turnbuckle and Cesaro mocks Matt with a second rope legdrop on Jeff. Sheamus keeps the pressure on and further mocks Matt with the “Delete!” gesture. Jeff survives (with a little help from big bro) a Cesaro swing, a Sharpshooter, the Beats of Brodan, the patented The Bar clothesline and more. Jeff hits Whisper in the Wind and makes the hot tag! Matt gets the better of Cesaro with brawling and hits the Side Effect for two. Elbow drop from the middle turnbuckle and he’s calling for the Twist of Fate. Momentarily distracted by Sheamus, Matt goes for it but Cesaro shoves him off and into the middle rope, where he’s hung up. Despite a good measure kick from Sheamus, Matt kicks out of Cesaro’s rollup at two. The Bar goes for a spike White Noise but Jeff rushes the ring. Cesaro is quick enough to leapfrog his partner but not quick enough to avoid a belly kick and Twist of fate from Jeff. Matt Slides off of the Irishman’s back and rolls up Sheamus for another two count. Twist of Fate from Matt. Swanton Bomb halfway across the ring from Jeff. The song remains the same but just as sweet.
Your winners by pinfall: Matt and Jeff, The Hardy Boyz!
In the back
After the announce team tells us that Aleister Black & Ricochet will be facing Rusev & Shinsuke Nakamura later tonight, we see the recent NXT call ups watching the Hardy victory on a locker room monitor. They postulate the possibility of a match with the Hardys when they notice Lana in the room. She says (without accent) that she doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about. They’re not former US champs or respected veterans of the locker room. They’re nothing special… ordinary. Ricochet says that he loves proving naysayers wrong. Aleister says that Rusev (with accent) and Nakamura will fade to black.
In ring
It’s time to crank it up and say “What’s up!” Current United States Champion, R-Truth, and his Fabulous Truth teammate, Carmella, are in the house! After the announcement of The Honky Tonk Man as the second inductee of the 2019 Hall of Fame Class and a seven second dance break, the Cena-inspired open challenge is answered by Andrade… and then Rey Mysterio! R-Truth doesn’t know what to do so he asks WWJCD? ‘Mella says that Big Match John would have a triple threat match. Truth says, “Damn! He brave!” but goes through with it anyway.
United States Championship Open Challenge
R-Truth vs Andrade (w/Zelina Vega) vs Rey Mysterio
Opponents of Charlotte Flair’s involvement in the RAW Women’s Championship match at WrestleMania should watch this match. This is a great example of how three wrestlers can have as good, if not a better, match than two can. Rey and Andrade have made magic every time they stepped into the ring together and R-truth is a very underrated athlete. Two of the big moments in the match required three to pull off. Andrade hits a powerbomb on the floor and, when Rey goes for the belly slide splash, El Idolo dropkicks him out of the air. This gets followed up on by a doomsday device hurricanrana to add to the Rey/Andrade repertoire of “stuff I never thought I’d see in a WWE ring ever again.”
The ladies get involved just long enough to see Zelina Vega take a ring apron bump. Rey’s continual rub of Andrade is a real joy to be able to watch and appreciate on multiple levels. I’m 100% on board with Corey Graves’ “I hope these two fight forever!” The finish sees both R-Truth and Andrade laid out on the middle rope but Truth ducks the 619 that catches El Idolo and rolls up the lucha libre legend for the three count.
Your winner by pinfall and STILL United States Champion: R-Truth
In ring
Charlotte Flair comes out as the video recap plays from RAW where Ronda Rousey insists on Becky Lynch being reinstated for WrestleMania. Charlotte says that Vince McMahon makes things better. Kevin Owens vs Daniel Bryan at FastLane? Home run! And thus our queen is there to save WrestleMania vs Ronda Rousey. Unlike the criminal, Becky Lynch, and the quitter, Ronda Rousey, she knows her lane and stays in it… press events, charity events, live events, main events. Becky and Ronda fear her. Charlotte has the monkeys in the production truck play Ronda saying that she won’t pick and choose her opponents. Charlotte says that it’s hypocrisy like that which makes her the “true champion.”
Aleister Black & Ricochet vs Rusev & Shinsuke Nakamura
The announce team praises the deep tag team division on Tuesdays. They’re right to. Part of that is evident in this match and the main event but I’m getting ahead of myself on two fronts. Shinsuke Nakamura plays cagey. Aleister Black matches his striking but Ricochet can’t… and neither opponent can match Rusev’s power. Nakamura attacks the legs of Ricochet in an attempt to slow him down and, at one point, Rusev catches him in mid-air for a swinging Rock Bottom. The NXT call ups hold on and eventually wear down the big Bulgarian. When it’s Nakamura and Black one-on-one, Aleister intercepts the Kinshasa attempt with a Black Mass for the win.
Your winners by pinfall: Ricochet & Aleister Black
In the back
Kayla Braxton tells AJ Styles that he’s established himself as a Smackdown cornerstone, a fighting champion, a family man, and (at times) a pit bull but is he in a slump? AJ says that he is his harshest critic. He hasn’t been at his best and he had his chance to stop Daniel Bryan. He’s not going to stop trying, though. It took him fifteen years to get to WWE and he will keep fighting to justify his claim that this is the house that AJ Styles built. The camera pans and we see another longtime Smackdown legend standing next to AJ: The Viper, Randy Orton. He asks, “The house that AJ Styles… what?” and walks off.
In ring
Lacey Evans makes her way all the way down the ramp… and back up. This bit is going exactly where Lacey’s catwalks go: back and forth but ultimately nowhere.
The New Day comes out looking somber but Kofi bucks up to bounce down to the ring as Big E and Xavier Woods quietly peel off to walk to the back.
Kofi Kingston & Kevin Owens vs Daniel Bryan & Rowan
Kofi & Kevin have an uneasy dynamic. Kevin tags in to try and match the power of Rowan but quickly learns that he’s going to have to go airborne (and get nasty as well) to get ahead of the bearded behemoth. Kofi shows that he’s still all heart through a Ricky Morton patch that lasts most of the bout. He survives big slams by Rowan, as well as, a top rope superplex, Lebell Lock, Yes Kicks, and running dropkicks from the champion. He manages to tag in Owens who nails Daniel Bryan with a cannonball in the corner, a superkick to knock Rowan off the apron, and a pop-up powerbomb on the champ for two. KO decides to go for the frog splash but Rowan rips him down and sends him into the announce table. Kofi recovers and saves Kevin with an elbow from the ringpost to the floor on Rowan! Back in the ring, KO dodges the running knee and hits a stunner to pin the WWE World Champion.
Your winners by pinfall: Kevin Owens & Kofi Kingston
Final thoughts:
What a week of surprises! RAW did take on the big ones: Roman Reigns’ remission announcement, Ronda Rousey’s relinquishing the title, and the surprise return of a former world champ with a billion dollar movie franchise. Still, Kevin Owens and Matt Hardy returning might be small potatoes to Good Morning America but it’s a full plate to the WWE faithful.
If I told you that many the people who were begging for a Kevin Owens/Daniel Bryan WrestleMania match a month ago would be dreading it now, would you believe it? Are you one of them? Have you read or listened to many of the more sane articles and podcasts explaining that how the unexpected rise of Becky Lynch has resulted in WWE putting on a master class in protecting “new” assets? Do you feel that this won’t apply to Kofi Kingston?
Pop Break’s Michael Vacchiano did a recent piece on the disservice done to tag team wrestling in WWE. The blue brand seems to be doing things right. Two weeks in a row, NXT call ups got to go over and get over. Two weeks in a row, the tag team champions didn’t job to non-teams with limited recognition. Better than RAW can say. All three tag matches on the show tonight displayed athleticism and timing on the part of the wrestlers but also pacing, story, and psychology with the help of the producers. Put on a big show and you get Justice League. Tell a great story and you get The Avengers.
