I’m probably on WWE’s blacklist already, so guess I don’t have much to lose. Hulk Hogan has already blocked me on Twitter. I read the dirtsheets. Of course, they’re meant to be dramatic, have clickbait, and say anything to earn clicks. Which is fine. I read them. But I also read the sites who report on rumors and review WWE.
How does a nobody like me get blocked by @HulkHogan? Not sure if I should be honored to have been noticed by a wrestling legend or chalk this up to nothing special? pic.twitter.com/pjl0YYfhCl
— M.S.D. (@OmegaX80) April 8, 2019
There’s something in common with almost all of them. AEW gave them hope. They all have disdain and dissatisfaction for the current WWE product. Week after week, we are treated to the same shtick from Shane McMahon, Paul Heyman, and derailed storylines just to appease some dudes overseas.
The show kicks off with Elias being announced as the guest referee between Seth Rollins and Baron Corbin at Stomping Grounds. Just then, Rollins arrives and destroys Elias with a chair. Spoiler alert, expect Rollins and Chair more often. After more with Ricochet, The Miz, and Braun Strowman, we lead into our first match:
Ricochet defeats The Miz, Braun Strowman, Cesaro, and Bobby Lashley in a contendership match for the United States Championship held by Samoa Joe. Strowman makes short work of Cesaro and Lashley, who return to assist Ricochet in eliminating the Monster. Ricochet hits the 670 on Miz. Decent match.
Announced tonight, Seth Rollins will face Daniel Bryan.
Up next, Becky Lynch and Lacey Evans have a segment with words. Lots of words. Lacey pulls the military card which then gets a pop from the crowd. Uh oh. Lynch then is first to strike with a Bexploder. Segment was good, but dangerously close for a role reversal.
Lynch and Rollins acting like heels, but yet are the faces. WWE is treading dangerously.
Daniel Bryan and Erick Rowan arrive and do some talking as well. They are interrupted by Don’t Call Them the War Raiders who then destroy some jobbers. This is highlighted with R-Truth and Carmella in disguise at ringside, then chased around by some jobbers, and Cedric Alexander?! Great. Titus O’Neal is pulled out from underneath the ring. Not sure what that was about.
This 24/7 shtick is also, dangerously close to jumping the shark.
Backstage, Heath Slater musters up the guts to ask Shane McMahon for a raise. I forgot to mention, earlier, we see The Revival joining McMahon and Drew McIntyre in a special room. New stable, I guess. Anyway, Shane lets down Slater after the audio finally starts working, but signals McIntyre. He follows Slater out, appears to offer handout, and then beats him senseless. Revival then steals the money.
That was garbage. Just garbage.
The Kevin and Sami Show with Bacon Rorbin. Bacon Bits says he will announce the new special ref for Stomping Grounds, which is EC3. Guess what, Rollins arrives and mauls him with a chair as well. Oops, that didn’t go well. The segment is saved by the arrival of Kofi Kingston and the New Day. This turns out fine as we get our second match of the night (sorry, not counting the squash). It’s after 9pm. Decent match which sees Zayn and Owens bail after Corbin screws up.
Rabbi Paul Heyman is in the ring, and immediately declares he is NOT the special ref. Heyman’s promos are great, but at this point, I don’t think we need them. It’s the same song, “maybe Brock will cash in, maybe he won’t.” Usually it would be exciting to wonder if someone will cash in, but I’m not sure anyone wants to see him do it. In fact, I think we’re all dreading it. Maybe I’m wrong.
Despite the loss, Corbin is seen chatting with Eric Young. Despite his reluctance, he is obliterated by a chair-swinging Seth Rollins.
The Usos defeated The Good Brothers. Prior to the match, AJ Styles attempted to hype up his buddies, but it wasn’t very effective.
Roman Reigns talks about his upcoming match with Drew McIntyre, which inevitably breaks down into Reigns storming into the VIP lounge, brawling around and finally manhandling Shane McMahon.
Alexa Bliss attempts to turn Bayley heel by spreading rumors on Twitter. Bayley is unconvincing in denying the heinous act of refusing to take a photo with a fan. Good lord people.
Hulk Hogan promotes the USA Women’s World Cup team… saying they’ll wipe Chile off the face of the map. Sigh… Does no one think before airing these??
The IIConics defeat Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross in a Women’s Tag Team Championship match. I’m just not into the IIconics. I’m not. Sorry, I tried. Bayley interfered, pushing the heel tease.
Firefly FunHouse is the creepiest yet, and appears to be the final episode as Wyatt unleashes The Fiend with all his good buddies around him. LET. HIM. IN.
Daniel Bryan vs. Seth Rollins goes to a DQ
In the first round after Erick Rowan interferes. A bevy of wrestlers rush the ring, creating a brawl. The crowd is dead. They leave and the match is restarted. We get a good main event to close the show, featuring Rollins getting the win over Bryan. Post-match, Baron Corbin blasts Rollins with the chair. Oh, I see what they did there.
The matches were decent at best. Sadly, once again this showed clocked more promo-talk time than actual in-ring wrestling. Sorry, in-ring segments do not count, because most of them didn’t even lead into a match.
The current writing feels uninspired and it shows. Fluidity is lacking and segments feel disjointed. Burial of talent dominates the show, which is a really bad thing. Heath Slater, Eric Young, EC3, the latter two barely get any time on-screen, when they do, it’s just to run around like idiots after R-Truth or to get beat up backstage. Elias is a weekly punching bag.
It’s sad when the only part of RAW I enjoy is watching Bray Wyatt’s FireFly FunHouse. Because I don’t need to watch three hours of filler, I can just go on YouTube.
As I said, if I wasn’t blacklisted by WWE already, it’s likely I will be. Sorry for telling the truth about my opinion and how I feel.
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