The beautiful thing about professional wrestling in 2019 is variety and creativity.
Impact Wrestling’s ‘Throwback Throwdown’ which aired Tuesday night on AXS TV exhibited both of these qualities, and proved that Impact is one of the most fun companies to watch on television right now.
The concept behind ‘Throwback Throwdown’ is that instead of a regular episode of Impact on AXS TV, we saw an episode of IPWF — Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation — a fictionalized Canadian territory wrestling promotion from the 1980s.
So, yes, the entire show was produced and wrestled like a low budget 1980s studio wrestling show. There was outlandish characters, cheesy video packaging, and all the low-fi, punch-kick grappling glory of ’80s studio wrestling. Now if you’re a fan of NWA Powerrr, this is not a send up of your beloved series. No, this is more of a tongue-in-cheek, loving lampoon of a bygone era.
Don Callis and Josh Matthews have to be commended for just how great they were on commentary. Callis assumed role of the hard-living, obviously inebriated former champion Sexton Hardcastle (which was Edge’s independent wrestling name), while Matthews performed as the whiskey-drinking, cigar-smoking “promoter’s son” Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. The duo — who are highly underrated as it is — sold this show perfectly. They infused a ton of subtle humor, and sly references to the territory days as well as today. Callis was wonderful when he “couldn’t describe” moves that are commonplace today like a powerbomb, or a cutter. He and Matthews debating “suplex” versus “suplay” was just marvelous.
The big stars of the night came in form of Ethan Page as the arrogant chicken shit heel television champ Julian Cumberbun, and Sami Callihan as his manager Sonny Sanders. Callihan did an absolutely phenomenal job impersonating his nemesis Jim Cornette — from the hair, to the mannerisms, to the glasses, and of course the tennis jacket — it was art.
Of course, the women of Impact would not be outdone here. Tessa Blanchard, Alexia Nicole, Jessicka Havok, and Jordynne Grace as “The Rough Riders” — their version of The Four Horsemen. The foursome did an excellent job parodying the famed group, but it was Havok who stole the spotlight. Normally a brooding, sadistic, and intense figure, Havok’s “Ladybird Johnston” character swaggered out and delivered an unforgettable line about “Being the general of the rat brigade” and announcing that “the tunnel of love is always open.” It’s moments like this that make you admire the creativity of a talent, the fearless of that talent and the promotion to allow them to break character, and also flat out laugh you ass off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAHunJ0KCwE
The show ran as follows:
Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann as a pizza delivery guy) beat Rick Rayzor (Ace Austin in a Sex Pistols gimmick).
The Hard Workers (Cody and Jake Deaner as The Fabulous One) beat Excessive Force (D’Lo Brown and Fallah Bahh as Demolition Clones).
A promo with Jake and Dave Crist as “The New Wave” — a surfing tag team.
Johnny Swinger (as himself) beat Buck Gunderson.
A promo from Rhino as Frank the Butcher (literally a butcher).
Jazzy Fitbody (Madison Rayne) beat Angie Beerheart (Alisha Edwards).
Jazzy beating up Jimmy Jacobs dressed as Sebastian Baker the Starmaker.
Ray Strack (Zachary Wentz as an “evil” race car driver), Bill Ding (Trey Miguel as an “evil” construction worker), Jim Nasium (Desmond Xavier as an “evil” gym teacher), and Tim Burr (Josh Alexander as an evil lumberjack) losing to The Rough Riders.
Muscles McGee (Brian Cage) answering (sort of) and winning sort of The $300,000 Man’s (Archibald Peck) Kongo Kong Body Slam Challenge.
Tommy Dreamer doing a promo about Jack Tunney and calling people “egg sucking dogs.”
“The Cockpit” Interview segment featuring Captain Joystick (Joey Ryan), Miss Mile High (Kiera Hogan) and DJ 2 Large (Moose).
Cowboy Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards) beat Gamma Sign with Dada Singh in a Blindfold Match. Only to beat jumped by The Russians (Michael Elgin, Mad Man Fulton), and then beating up Giuseppe Scovelli Sr. (Scott D’Amore).
Downtown Daddy Brown (Willie Mack) defeating Julian Cumberbun for the International Commonwealth Television Title Match and as a result Cumberbun must leave town.
It was an absolute must-see fun show. Go find it!
Impact Wrestling’s ‘Throwback Throwdown’ is available On Demand Impact Plus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuZk5tdAxWg
