Written by Michael Vacchiano
With just over a week to go until its biggest annual event, WWE has continued its irregular course as of late by holding Smackdown at its empty Performance Center in Orlando. We all know by now how the global coronavirus pandemic has affected damn near everything, and that has also included the favorite past time of us wrestling nerds the world over. Through no fault of the company itself, this year has been an extremely rocky Road to WrestleMania. The stadium spectacle will no longer happen in Tampa due to social distancing measures being taken, and the lack of live crowds of WWE fans (I will not say Universe) at these shows is definitely felt. Matches are being canceled/altered seemingly daily after several weeks and months of build, and other matches are just thrown together almost at random.
Countless fans have petitioned to have the Granddaddy of Them All postponed until after the pandemic, and their feelings are totally justifiable. However, in these crazy times, yours truly still applauds the WWE for trying to entertain us through it all and put smiles on kids’ faces. I also applaud the wrestlers who have made the tough choice to sit out this year’s show to self-quarantine and protect themselves and their families. We often forget that the superstars we love to cheer and boo are human beings just like us. Despite the event being downgraded to a much smaller scale in scope as well as panache, it’s still ‘Mania season and the folks at WWE are giving us something to watch.
But first, let’s talk about the Friday Night Smackdown 3/27 episode…
Bayley, the woman’s champ of the Blue Brand, comes out with her BFF Sasha Banks to address her Fatal Five Way match at Mania for the Smackdown Women’s title. As the former Hugger says that Sasha always has her back and will protect her championship, the Boss gives her an unnoticed sly sideways glance. They are soon interrupted by fellow challengers Lacey Evans and Naomi, who stake their claim as the eventual winner of said upcoming title match. The quartet in the ring are soon joined by the strong and silent Tamina, who then immediately lays waste to Evans and Naomi. As Bayley and Banks start to pick the scraps, they turn to the angry face of Superfly’s amazon daughter. The heel duo then slowly backstep their way out of the ring, trying not to anger Tamina any further.
In a match made last week, Daniel Bryan’s partner/mentee Drew Gulak takes on Shinsuke Nakamura, the running mate of Intercontinental champ Sami Zayn. Both competitors are fighting on behalf of their charges, as Bryan will get a title shot against Sami if Gulak wins. The underrated grappler from Philadelphia holds his own until the Artist gains the upper hand with some heel tactics…and a lot of knee shots. But Daniel fights fire with fire and helps Drew avoid a Kinshasa, allowing the former Cruiserweight champion to get the upset over Nak with an impressive jacknife bridge pin. It’s D-Bry vs. Zayn for the IC belt at Mania, in what should be a fantastic pure wrestling showcase!
Officials in the back separate Dolph Ziggler and Otis, as the former taunts the lovesick big man with more pics of his date with Mandy Rose. After calling him pathetic, the Showstopper makes the challenge to Otis for Mania. The Bulldozer happily grunts and accepts. Also, Elias gives us an unplugged and empty concert atop a platform, mocking his own Wrestlemania opponent, King Corbin. After finishing strumming and turning to soak in the non-existent cheers, the former Raw GM blindsides the troubadour and knocks him over the platform railing. Elias hangs on for dear life before Corbin blasts him with a guitar stand, sending the Drifter onto the concrete floor below. The King gloats as medical help is summoned.
Next up on Friday Night Smackdown 3/27 is Alexa Bliss taking on one half of the Women’s tag team champions, Asuka. Bliss’ partner Nikki Cross is at ringside doing commentary, and making Michael Cole very uncomfortable with her energetic and erratic style. Lots of dancing and mocking between both women here during the early-going, before the Empress of Tomorrow throws Bliss into the steps. Alexa and Nikki have been chasing the Kabuki Warriors (Asuka and Kairi Sane) and trying to earn a shot at the tag titles in recent weeks. Their claim is staked even further after the Goddess rolls through an armbar attempt, and plants Asuka with a snap DDT for the 1-2-3!
They replay the WWE Title match from Wrestlemania 32, in which Roman Reigns defeated Triple H for the championship in the main event. Afterwards, the boss himself gives his own thoughts on the match between Reigns and Goldberg at this year’s event for the Universal Championship. Unfortunately, as this week’s edition of Smackdown was pre-taped, news broke the other day that Roman himself has chosen to pull out of the scheduled match. His publicly documented fights against leukemia have left him immunocompromised, and the Big Dog is putting safety first. A replacement for the match will soon be named, but I wish Reigns the best and admire his decision.
Another episode of the Firefly Funhouse has Bray Wyatt formulating a brand new smoothie recipe to help him beat John Cena at Wrestlemania. Upon recapping his previous loss to Cena on the big stage several years earlier, he adds important ingredients into the blender such as Disappointment, Rage, Resentment … and even Ramblin’ Rabbit himself for “offering too many opinons.”
Bray drinks the concoction and adds the stipulation for the match at Mania to be a Firefly Funhouse match. He then cuts the jokes, quietly and eerily saying that He (the Fiend) won’t need any help. Wyatt consistently brings the creative gold every time with both sides of his character, and his match with Cena next weekend should be really good.
Longtime rivals The Usos and The New Day clash in the main event to determine who will face the Miz & John Morrison for the Smackdown tag titles at Mania. Great action from all four men as Jimmy/Jey/Kofi/Big E know each other so well over the years. And credit to Miz and Morrison who guested on commentary, and hilariously mocked the usual crowd chants (“Fight Forever!” “This Is Awesome!”) that we’re used to hearing during hotly contested matches.
The action soon spilled outside with Jey diving over the ropes onto Kofi, and Big E spearing Jimmy through the ropes. The champs soon attacked their would-be challengers and left them laying before realizing their consequences. Michael Cole soon announces that the title match at Mania will now be a Triple Threat Ladder Match! The upset Miz and Morrison are soon leveled with stereo Uso superkicks and the Midnight Hour from Big E and Kofi to end the show.
Friday Night Smackdown 3/27 did its best to help promote and add excitement to an often-changing Wrestlemania show. With the dangerous situation the world is facing right now, the magnitude of WWE’s flagship event is downgraded and there’s no denying it. But the company’s commitment and dedication to still entertain in these crazy times deserves our attention. Mania may not be the grand and epic blockbuster that we’re used to seeing every year, but it should still be a solid card worth checking out while we’re all self-quarantined at home.
