Written by Alan Sarapa
After months of reruns, The Bold and the Beautiful, General Hospital and The Young and the Restless are back with new episodes. Actors are getting tested often to be able to work. They are rehearsing in masks which must be difficult to portray emotion when half your face is covered. Not to mention getting your lines out with your mouth covered. And the crew are wearing masks all day. I’m very grateful to everyone on these three soaps for working so hard and putting themselves at risk to get back on the air. That said, let’s get into the content of the new episodes and the ways each soap is dealing with COVID-19.
The Bold and the Beautiful:
On the production side, B&B has put forth the most effort to be safe. There have been scenes where they straight up pulled a Good Wife with actors acting alone and edited to make it look like they are together. And then there’s the dolls that Brad Bell has used to get press. Thorsten Kaye had to kiss a mannequin! That’s how seriously they take safety. Though I think Thorsten had more chemistry with the mannequin than he does with Katherine Kelly Lang.
The amount of effort is admirable, but I wish they’d pull back. Having people smooching plastic makes the show seem like a joke. And the using real life partners as intimacy doubles is slightly better, but I’d honestly prefer they just take physical touch out of the show because I get second hand embarrassment watching it.
Story-wise, the show is a mess. They did give us Tanner Novlan as Dr. John “Finn” Finnegan who is Steffy’s first non-Spencer man love interest in years. Tanner looks like he walked right out of a Hallmark movie and like he should be declaring a woman showed him the true meaning of Christmas before a dry kiss. Though this story isn’t going to be Hallmark at all. Steffy has become a pill fiend!
We all know this is going to lead to a custody battle between Liam and his wife Hope over Steffy and Liam’s daughter Kelly. Steffy isn’t allowed to have a story where Liam and Hope don’t pop up. It is illegal apparently! I’m most worried about the ick factor of Steffy being an addict and falling in love with her doctor. This has a lot of potential to be in very poor taste.
The other big story is Shauna marrying a hammered Ridge after sending lawyer Carter a text from Ridge’s phone to file the divorce papers ending his marriage to Brooke. It is totally insipid. In the B&B world, women just seem to exist to circle each other while shouting “Respect my marriage!”
And now they have Bill back sniffing around Brooke because the Logan sister who is the love of his life seems to change every few months. This whole ping ponging between the two sisters just makes Katie look pathetic for taking him back every time. It is bad enough her body is falling apart and she has to survive on pilfered organs from relatives, but can’t she have some self-respect? Because we all know a year from now, Bill will be back to declaring that she’s his everything and she’ll believe it like a dummy while calling up the next relative for a transplant for her annual health crisis.
General Hospital:
Minus no kissing and a more casual Nurses’ Ball and some of the men having truly unfortunate quarantine hair, GH looks the same as it did pre-COVID. They aren’t socially distancing in scenes and there’s even brief touching. If you are thinking “Alan, how can GH get away with this? B&B has people going to first base with dolls and Y&R has people six-feet apart if you aren’t smooching in real life!” The answer is they are allowed to do this based on the guidelines. CBS soaps are being more strict, but GH has decided to be more relaxed. I’ve been told GH actors were tested three times a week when they first resumed production and now it is one or two times a week based on how many days they are working. I do have concerns about them being that close, but it is working for them thus far.
On the story front, the writing has improved. Stories are moving and not just doing the holding pattern that GH is known for. This time last year we were having people crying to rocks constantly. Now we’re getting throats slashed and the woman who slashed the throat going off a cliff in a two-week period. And Dante is back! I feel an effort to get viewers tuning back in.
That said, GH still has issues. Michael and Willow (not so affectionately referred to by fans as Mildew) have the chemistry of Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. You don’t want to see them having sex. If you saw them together in real life, you’d think they were siblings. And there’s more couples that don’t have chemistry like Jax/Nina, Peter/Maxie, Carly/Sonny and Jason/Sam. They need to get that fixed because couples are the bread and butter of soaps. The only pairings I’m feeling are Cameron/Trina and Nikolas/Ava. I want to have the feels, GH! Give me the feels!
The Young and the Restless:
They’ve taken the six feet apart route and you can only get closer if you are hitting it in real life. The production is fine. The issue is I’ve had more dramatic encounters over picking what restaurant to order from than everything on Y&R right now. They were off the air for five months and we are getting episodes about a spa day and just lots of conversations with zero plot. Who gives a flying [bleep] about a home movie with a character that should have died two years ago?!
The little plot we do have is terrible. Adam once donned a purple dress to kill a fetus and we’re expected to think he’d be devastated to learn he killed some rando as a child. It makes zero sense for Adam as a character. They are lucky Mark Grossman is so talented and has so much chemistry with Sharon Case. It is the only thing keeping this story watchable.
Speaking of watchable, Phyllis vs. Abby might be the worst soap feud of all time. Phyllis planting dinosaur bones on Abby’s hotel site is presented as the height of comedy when it is just dumb. Even if you take away the fact that no one cares about these hotel wars, Phyllis is a master schemer. She could do better than the 3rd grade antics. What’s next? Phyllis gives Abby an atomic wedgie? Pies to the face? Abby and Chance leaving a flaming bag of dog poo in front of the Grand Phoenix?
And situations that should be dramatic are remarkably boring. Kyle left his wife Lola for Summer. They should be at each other’s throats! Most soaps would have Lola go crazy or be pregnant, but we can’t have drama on this show. Lola’s reaction to her husband leaving was about on par with hearing the ice cream machine at McDonald’s isn’t working.
And the ratings are terrible. I expected a drop because viewers have had months to unlearn the habit of watching everyday, but at this rate B&B will be the number one show. Viewers need a reason to tune in and there’s too much options out there to settle for boring. Y&R has been the show to fire head writers and executive producers when they suck, so I don’t know why CBS and Sony are being complacent. Asking for change on a soap is always a “Be careful what you wish for situation”, but I don’t see how it could get worse than dinosaur bones.
Dispatches from Soap Land:
*I wish fans would stop complaining about Victoria Konefal’s wardrobe. She’s young and beautiful. She isn’t going to dress like your Aunt Mildred. Stop being scandalized by cleavage.
*I was so excited for Rafe to leave and then they announced Galen Gering is returning. We were almost free of that waste of a space character! It makes firing Galen pointless unless they were trying to initiate him into the Fired Days Actors Club which most of the cast belong to.
*Y&R is finally addressing Amanda looking exactly like Hilary. It is dumb that it took this long. If you bring on a doppelganger of a character’s beloved dead wife, it is storytelling malpractice to wait a year to explain it. Devon should have been obsessing over it and not being so chill. Another prime example of Y&R ignoring dramatic potential.