Alan’s Soap Box: The State of Days of Our Lives

If you are a fan of Days of Our Lives, you are likely used to seeing the phrase “The Plan to Save Days!” every few years on a cover of Soap Opera Digest. Days of Our Lives has needed to be saved almost as many times as Princess Peach. It is that time again as the show goes through a bumpy transition as they are also coming off a well-received second season of Beyond Salem. It is the best of times and the worst of times.

They Always Regret It

When Days of our Lives is going through a transition period, it is very common for them to trot out a serial killer or kill off a popular character. It is how they like to get attention. It is the Days version of a woman getting bangs. And just like that woman bravely debuting her ill-advised new bangs to her friend group, they always regret it. When a brainwashed Marlena killed half the town, they walked that shit back fast and had them all alive on an island replica of Salem named Melaswen. When Ben gave Will the time of his life (and death) by choking him, two years later Ron Carlivati’s pitch to bring Will back from the dead got him hired as head writer. 

Yet they never learn a lesson from this as, a month ago, Abigail was stabbed to death in her bedroom. Usually, murder mysteries are reserved for villains half the town has a reason to kill or serial killer stories with multiple victims. Abigail is in neither of these categories as she’s a beloved heroine and the only character with a legit motive to kill Abigail is her flop sister Gwen. Yet they had her uncle and her cousin be suspects in her murder. It is gross, and it doesn’t even make narrative sense.

It is tedious watching characters grieve for a character who shouldn’t have been murdered and who we all know will be resurrected within two years. Whenever Ken Corday gets nervous about a renewal, he’ll have Abigail scoot her way out of that coffin. It gives a few actors who are doing good work Emmy reels, but is all this depressing shit worth it? I don’t think so. It isn’t entertaining. It isn’t good soap opera. It is just lazy and plot-driven. 

They easily could have broken Abigail and Chad up and had her move to Boston for a while. Ron seems to have this view that fans would rather see Abigail dead than have Chabby broken up. I think it is because when Ron came on as head writer, they were the it-couple of the show. This has colored his view of them. He’s given them absolutely abysmal writing during his five-year tenure, but he always puts them back together, even through Party City wigs and sister banging. I know there were other people involved in the decision to kill Abigail, but they should have thought it all the way through. 

Bad Optics

Who thought it would be a good idea for a Black woman to go to prison for killing her mother’s abuser around the same time you have a white serial killer literally sailing off into the sunset with his wife and baby? What Lani did with TR was murder. He was unarmed and she shot him dead. He was raising his hand to Paulina and Abe was unconscious on the floor, but TR wasn’t an imminent threat. Even with this, it was still a poor choice for the exit of a popular couple. 

This show lets white characters get away with murder, but Lani has to pay for killing a monster? Kate was responsible for the massacre at Greta’s coronation, but she didn’t see a jail cell for it. EJ killed a cop and most of you likely forgot that even happened. Xander shot Marlena, stole a baby, and put Nicole in a cage, and he gets to stroll around town with his tits out. It just feels weird that Lani has to be in prison when worse people are free to let their sociopath flag fly. 

Same Function

Sometimes on soaps when a character exits and they don’t recast, the show decides to bring on another character to perform the same function as the character who left. On General Hospital when they killed off Nathan, they quickly brought on the new detective Chase who was a kindhearted hunk just like Nathan. Days has taken that route with new detective Jada who is there to perform the same function as Lani.

I do think creating Jada was one of the few smart choices the show has made lately. She’s the daughter of Marcus Hunter who longtime fans remember from the late 80s/early 90s era of the show. She’s not related to anyone on the current canvas so she can be paired with literally any character. That’s a big strength on a show that has the most intertwined family trees on soaps. Before you suggest a pairing on Days, you have to mentally check to see if they are related and then go on Soap Central just to double check so you aren’t clowned for accidentally suggesting incest. We won’t have that problem with Jada. 

I do see my chemistry between Jada and Eric, but my worry is that she’s going to be the Raisin Bran option in a triangle with Nicole. Nicole did just marry Rafe, but it was offscreen, so the show doesn’t value that relationship. Setting Jada up to be the loser in a triangle is not the strongest introduction they could write. They should be working to establish her on the show with a successful pairing. I should not already see the writing on the wall about her getting her heart broken.

Do Sitcom Husbands Go To Heaven?

Days of our Lives has finally realized Jake is a dud and had a Fall Out Boy-looking tweaker kill him. Unfortunately, the show had to act like Jake and Ava were a great love story prior to the tatted twink plugging Jake. They’ve been banging in Jake’s dinky apartment for like five minutes. They weren’t in a place where an engagement made sense. It was rushed and forced to give this story a bit of oomph, but it fell flat. To quote Diana in the classic musical A Chorus Line: I felt nothing. 

Change Your Character Around

Days of our Lives really wants to keep Rob Scott Wilson, so this week he debuted as Alex Kiriakis, the son of Justin and Angelica. Rob is hilariously continuing his trend of playing characters who weren’t raised in Boston yet sound like they are a Wahlberg brother. Thus far, Alex is a dude-bro who doesn’t want to work too hard and likes shirtless hugs. The only difference between Rob’s portrayal of Ben and Alex is his acting with Alex is a bit more hyper. Rob seems like he’s on a sugar high in his scenes. 

I did find it interesting that they were clear that Alex doesn’t consider Adrienne to be his mother despite the fact that she raised him. This leads me to believe Stephanie will be a romantic option for Alex. If he considered Adrienne to be his mother, Stephanie would be his cousin. This show already had Stephanie date her adopted uncle so compared to that, I guess cousin adjacent is better. 

He’s Not Worth It, Girl

Kristen is out of prison and her story is what it has been for years: scheming to get Brady for reasons that are mystifying. I know she has this fantasy of a nuclear family with her, Brady, and Rachel dancing around to “Walking On Sunshine” in a kitchen making pancakes, but she needs to let that basic fantasy go. I’m so tired of Kristen trying to get Brady back. The list of things she’s done to get that mediocre man is absurd. She hoover-ed Tate out of Theresa’s uterus, she wore a Nicole mask while holding Nicole captive, she broke out of prison and put on a one-woman show masquerading as multiple different women. 

Enough is enough. Let’s move Kristen on and find a middle ground for her. Ron either writes her as too nice like during the nun era or like she’s Dr. Blight from Captain Planet. You don’t need to swing from those extremes with her. Treat her like Ava on GH. There’s still some bite to Ava, but half the town doesn’t want to shoot Ava on sight anymore. It is the only way Kristen can be a regular presence. Though we aren’t going to get that anytime soon. I’ve been spoiled a bit about the upcoming story and I’ll just say Kristen is fully a cartoon villain. 

Justice For Nancy

It was bad enough that the show ended Nancy’s decades-long marriage to Craig to make him gay for shits and giggles. Having her date Cylde, the man who raped his own stepdaughter, is disgusting. I’m sure Patrika Darbo is happy to be working, but she deserves better than this. Nancy is not a pathetic woman who would fall for the first man over 60 to pay any attention to her. And what is Clyde still doing on this show? Ben is gone. Kill him off and be done with it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lia74g-0lqg

Is That a Prism In Your Cleavage Or Are Your Boobs Just Boxy?

While the main show is going through a bumpy transition following multiple exits, Beyond Salem (streaming now on Peacock) was delightful. It was fan service done right. Fans have been begging for Andrew Donovan to show up for years. It was such a treat to have Andrew following in his father’s spy footsteps and having him be gay was the cherry on top. I want Andrew back on the main show with Paul. Colton Little needs a contract stat. 

I even enjoyed Hope’s heavenly reunion with Bo. I’ve never been one of those fans whose nipples get hard when Bo and Hope are together, but they got me this time. Dancing to “Tonight I Celebrate My Love” by Roberta Flack and Peabo Bryson was lovely and a testament to how much Peacock values the show. That song isn’t cheap. I know fans are grateful they spent the money to make that moment extra special. 

The big downside was Steve Burton’s presence. I just don’t think it was a wise decision to hire someone another soap fired for refusing to get vaccinated. He also was just playing evil Jason Morgan. They even had him wearing the signature leather jackets GH fans associate with that constipated robot. I will give Ron and company credit for contrasting that man’s unwelcome presence with the camp of Hope having the prism randomly in her bosom. I know women who keep some cash in their bras, but I’ve never seen a prism being nestled by boobs before.

Speaking of the prism that is covered with Hope’s boob sweat, the prisms were combined and used to resurrect Bo. Hopefully when Bo makes his way back to Salem, he remembers he has another daughter and her name is Chelsea. I don’t expect to see her, but a mention would be nice. I know Zach is in heaven because she ran him over like a squirrel, but come on. She is Bo’s daughter too.

Hope For The Future

While things aren’t great right now, I do see potential in the future. Stephanie is coming back and so is Joey. Li’s sister Wendy is coming and she’s another character who could be paired with almost everyone. I’m going to choose to be optimistic that Days of our Lives can get through the current messiness and ill-advised decisions into a stronger position for the fall. I want this show to be successful and thrive. 

Dispatches From Soap Land 

*Y&R needs to learn that Sharon isn’t a talk-to character. She’s a lead. She should have her own story and not be fretting over people’s problems.

*If B&B puts Bill with Li, that would go a long way in making the character relevant again. I could be into him having a romance with a woman who doesn’t have the last name Logan.

*I can’t wait for Ava on GH to burn her idiot husband’s life to the ground. Nikolas deserves whatever she dishes out for banging that sociopathic teenager.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JHIwMRL1qg