Written by James Mertz
We’re in the homestretch of the retirement tour for the “G.O.A.T.” of professional wrestling, John Cena. After heavily impacting the lives of wrestling fans for over two decades, Cena will step in the squared circle and don the jorts, sweatbands, and colorful t-shirts just five more times.
Here’s how I would script Cena’s final appearances on WWE television.
Crown Jewel: Perth, Australia (October 11th) – Match: John Cena vs. AJ Styles
This match was already announced a few weeks ago, and it’s long overdue. Styles and Cena’s feud in 2016 and 2017 was one of the best battles of each of their careers. It was the indie star who finally joined the big leagues against the man handpicked by the boss to be the face of the company. Now, with Cena set to retire at the end of this year and Styles not too long after, I can’t wait to watch both of these icons leave it all out on the mat against each other one more time.
The reason I say this is overdue is that this match will have virtually no build-up. Cena and Styles manufactured this match through a series of social media posts that set the wrestling community ablaze, all but forcing Paul “Triple H” Levesque to book this match. If this had happened earlier in the retirement tour, the promos we would’ve gotten between the two would’ve been electric. Nonetheless, we will take the match itself in which Cena should leave victorious, and the two future Hall of Famers embrace in the center of the ring after the match.
Monday Night Raw: Boston, MA (November 10th) – Promo in his hometown that sets up a match for next week
Every one of these last five appearances can’t be Cena wrestling in matches. His matches at this point are quality over quantity. So this promo in front of his hometown in Boston will start as a farewell to a place that is so special to him, and he’ll mention how he wants one more title shot before he leaves for good. That’s when “Dirty” Dominik Mysterio comes out to ruin the party. Mysterio, over the last year, has simultaneously been one of the company’s biggest heels while being one of the most over superstars with the fans. The boos he will get from the Boston crowd will be absolutely deafening. He’ll ramble on about how he wants to be the one to put Cena in an early retirement when the Judgement Day attacks Cena before Cena retaliates and before Mysterio is hit with the Attitude Adjustment, he rolls out of the ring to safety. It’s then announced that Cena and Mysterio will face off the week after in the main event of Raw for the Intercontinental title.
Monday Night Raw: Madison Square Garden (November 17th) –
Intercontinental Title Match: John Cena vs. Dominik Mysterio
Much of Cena’s retirement tour has been feuds fueled by nostalgia, which I’ve absolutely loved. But it would be awesome for Cena to face a young talent that fans can remember for the rest of that guy’s career, and no young superstar deserves it more than Mysterio right now. From his in-ring skillset to his work on the mic and his relationship with the crowd, Mysterio is the perfect non-nostalgic opponent in this retirement tour–even better than the Logan Paul feud a few months prior. This will be an in-ring thriller with Cena taking the 619 one last time after years of taking it from Dominik’s “deadbeat” dad, Rey.
Ultimately, the match will end in a no-contest as Gunther will return to television for the first time since losing his World Heavyweight Championship at Summerslam. Gunther will interfere and choke out Cena, leaving his body in the middle of the mat. Also, even if WWE chooses not to go this route, Cena has to wrestle in his last appearance at the “World’s Most Famous Arena.” He has had countless memorable moments in that arena. Whether it be winning his first singles title at Wrestlemania 20 or his miraculous return at the 2008 Royal Rumble. He can’t just go out there and cut a promo; the fans deserve to see a match, and he deserves to wrestle in one.
Survivor Series: San Diego, CA (November 29th) – Match: John Cena vs. Gunther
There is an argument to be made that Cena should wrestle in the 5 v 5 tag team/WarGames match that will most likely main event the premium live event, but that just wouldn’t make much sense for Cena right now, considering that match will probably have to do with The Vision, CM Punk, and probably Roman Reigns. In short, the fact that this will be Cena’s penultimate match will be overshadowed by all the other storylines involved with it.
Cena’s retirement tour has featured all kinds of matches. The street fight against Cody Rhodes, the back-and-forth, highly intense matches against Logan Paul, Randy Orton, and CM Punk, and a squash match against Brock Lesnar. But this match against “The Ring General” Gunther will be a technical masterpiece and take the pressure off Cena from having to completely put his body on the line to entertain the masses.
The build-up for this match is simple yet perfect. Gunther is a top heel in the company and wants a piece of the fan-favorite Cena before he calls it quits. Gunther will and should win the match as he ramps back up to the unstoppable force he was before losing at Summerslam. Speaking of Summerslam, after the bell rings and Cena tries to leave the ring, he will be met by the guitar riff of Brock Lesnar’s theme song before he is slammed into the mat with an F-5 from the Beast. Just like he was after Summerslam.
Saturday Night’s Main Event: Washington, D.C (December 13th) –
Match: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar
After what went down after Wrestlepalooza, it has never been clearer who John Cena’s final opponent should be: Brock Lesnar. Their match at Wrestlepalooza was nothing but boring and a waste of time. After a rivalry that has spanned over the course of three decades, it can’t end with Cena looking as weak as he did in Indianapolis.
I understand Lesnar had to look dominant in his first match back, but it was a waste of one of the handful of appearances Cena had remaining. So similar to Cena’s feud earlier in the year with Rhodes, after putting up a stinker in their first match, Cena and Lesnar will put on a banger in their second bout. Cena will ultimately hit the Attitude Adjustment on Lesnar and pin him in the center of the ring. Cena conquers “The Beast” one last time and retires a winner. He salutes the crowd one final time, leaves his sweatbands and towel in the center of the ring, and walks off into the sunset one final time.
Cinema.
