Review: Piranha 3D

logan fowler reviews the latest 3D masterpiece

While I normally try to not go to the movies by myself, every so often it does happen. When I polled a group of my friends this past weekend if any of them wanted to check out Piranha 3D, they all answered with a resounding “no.”

So armed with my 3D glasses, I walked into practically empty theater, plopped myself down, and I watched as carnage, nudity, and frights filled the screen.

And I walked out of the theater one satisfied customer (I really wasn’t watching it for the nudity. I swear)

Piranha 3D is a remake of a 1978 film of the same name. It harkens back to films of a time that were cheesy, filled with cheap thrills and horrible special effects. Like Grindhouse and Black Dynamite before it, Piranha 3D embraces its specific genre, while in essence, being a satire.

The movie kicks off with a brief role by Richard Dreyfuss, basically reprising his role from Jaws, all the way down to him singing “Show me the way to go home.” As he sits in his boat in Lake Victoria, Arizona, an earthquake occurs, causing a split in the lake floor, and ultimately, letting loose deadly Piranha, and killing Dreyfuss’ character.

The town sheriff (Elisabeth Shue) begins to investigate, enlisting the help of her deputy (Ving Rhames) and a pack of seismologists led by Novak (Adam Scott). They later discover that the closed off area where the Piranhas were locked in caused them to become cannibals and therefore only stayed alive due to these methods. This information is told to them by a local pet shop owner Mr. Goodman (a glee inducing Christopher Lloyd, in all of his Doc Brown goodness).

None of this would be a problem, however, if everyone wasn’t interested in going in the water. But luckily for us viewers, its Spring Break, so the lake is mighty crowded and teeming with food for the titular creatures.

Meanwhile, the sheriff’s son Jake (Steven R. Mcqueen), is bummed because he has babysitting duty for his kid brother and sister while all he wants to do is get out and have fun. His chance comes in the encounter with the beautiful Danni (Kelly Brook), who is a star for an adult film director Derrick (Jerry O’ Connell, having a blast here). Derrick invites Jake, based on his being a local, to show him spots for his filming. Jake agrees, paying off his brother and sister to make like nothing bad happened with babysitting. But in due time, the girl Jake likes is invited aboard Derrick’s boat, and all three storylines tie together for what is a brief but well paced 88 minutes of blood bath beauty.

Piranha 3D is not going to win any awards, even though the actors did do a “For Your Consideration” film (link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXdIEkQfqT4&feature=search). What is though, is just a bunch of actors letting loose, having fun, and ultimately, showing the audience that they are in the joke. Sometimes a movie like that is all you need.

Piranha 3D also has to be commended for its violence; I know it sounds funny, but some ways people kick the bucket piranha style is extremely creative. Is it gruesome? Yes. But sort of original. I’m not prone to seeing movies of this style, so take that for what it’s worth, I guess.

While the near end of August is a dumping ground for the bad movies Hollywood wants to put out, Piranha 3D is not a blockbuster comparable to the films that came before it in summer 2010. However, to its credit, it is fun, gory, and good. It features a great cast, some jaw dropping moments, some beautiful scenery, and buckets of blood.

Did I enjoy it? You bet I did. But it’s up to you whether you want to take the bait or not.