The WWE-ek: Turkey Day Hangover


It’s been a slow going for WWE since Survivor Series. Coming off the pay-per-view, fans were left confused as to the direction WWE chose. The sudden announcement of a title unification match at TLC really stumped fans as to what the company is thinking. Not in a bad way, but really, what is going on? There have been two belts since 2002, over a decade, and suddenly WWE seems to be doing away with the dual major championships. Over the years both titles have shifted in and out of being the “main” title in WWE. Often it depends on who possess it or if it suits the particular storyline. Notably, in 2004 when Triple H was the World Heavyweight Champion defending it in a Triple Threat match against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit at WrestleMania 20, and again in 2004 when The Undertaker defeated Edge at WrestleMania 24.

Many had thought an inevitable clash between World Champion John Cena and WWE Champion Randy Orton would take place at WrestleMania 30. Seems it’s happening a hell of a lot sooner. I have a theory, but later.

Kofi Kingston got a win this week, but you likely did not see it because it was on Main Event. Good thing too, because you would have seen Dolph Ziggler lose again. Damien Sandow won, which is always a good thing. Sandow and Ziggler will likely continue their strange object-themed feud for the time being, since WWE seems to have NO GODDAMNED IDEA what to do with these two. Oh, I don’t know, how about some triple threat or fatal-four ways for the Intercontinental or United States Championship! Maybe someone got mad at Ziggler for doing the Double J strut in his last match with Sandow.

What really works for WWE right now is Tag-Team Wrestling! Tag-Teams. Yes. Not only do we get to see more wrestlers in action, but we get some damn good matches. The Prime Time Players have not seen much action, but Titus O’Neal is getting a very interesting push. On Raw he impersonated Michael Strahan, and fared very well on the mic during the Miz TV segment, while on SmackDown he went full-on comedy by puking on Antonio Cesaro. Now, normally I do not condone such stupid programming, but this one time I let it slide. WWE sees potential in Titus, and they are testing the waters to see if his next major gimmick will involve comedy or serious persona. I say go with the comedy, but not to heavy as it could tarnish any chance of him being a serious wrestler. Look at 3MB or Zack Ryder. Titus O’Neal has all the makings of a future major champion. He has the look, the build, the wrestling ability, and he is great on the mic or backstage.

Can’t say the same for Ryback and Curtis Axel. Maybe they are paired together because they are sharing the same doghouse. I am not sure what they did do deserve the grave they’re digging, but something tells me days are numbered. Unlike 3MB, their time limit might have just gotten an extension. Instead of being just 3MB, they now come to the ring with a different persona each week, depending on location, scenario, birthday, anything. It could get funny if done right, just like Los Matadores. Many think this gimmick will die fast, but I have a feeling it will last longer than you think. If something goes south, they can just reveal themselves as the Colons are turn heel because they want to be taken seriously. Ask Brodus Clay, who made squishy out of Xavier Woods on SmackDown. Big guy got mad at the little guy for borrowing the Funkadactyls for his entrance. In case you didn’t realize they were still together, it shouldn’t matter much longer since Clay is taking the heel route and Tensai will be forced to go back to being A-Train again.

Usos and The Rhodes Bros. are phenomenal together. Cody is not quite there yet to main event, but tagging with his brother, still calling himself Goldust is a good move for the youngster, and even better for Dustin who is riding a second or third wave of success. The Usos should be tag champs, but I wonder if they will ever get the chance. With so many teams out there, it’s a wonder they even get title matches at all. With babyfaces holding the belts, the only way The Usos would get to wear the straps is in a fatal-four way situation. Otherwise they will be lucky to hold them in 2014.

Speaking of 2014, here comes some thoughts. Daniel Bryan gets kidnapped by the Wyatts, and they promise to make him a monster, huh? Bryan shaves the beard, gets serious, and wins the 2014 Royal Rumble. Bray Wyatt will want him to turn over the contendership, but instead Bryan opts to go for the WWE World Championship himself. He might have to go through CM Punk to do it, but any Ring of Honor fan will drool to see that match. I know I would.

John Cena and Randy Orton will take their feud to WrestleMania, but do not expect any titles on the line.

The Undertaker will come back one last time to face off against The Great Khali in a career match. Since Khali did not have a career anyway, Undertaker wins by forfeit.