michael dworkis looks at one of the WWE’s most brutal gimmick pay-per-views …
Take a cage, expand it to encompass the ringside area, and put a giant lid on it. Make a door too, so the combatants can climb up to the top where there is a gate at the center of the cell ceiling. This, is Hell In The Cell. What used to be a special match at select pay-per-view events now has its own event to showcase the brutality that comes with it.
Sheamus pinns Christian
Starting this event off, Sheamus squared off with the antagonistic Christian, whose sole goal is to obtain “one more” title match. This has been going on for months, and it seems Christian will be stuck whining about it as Sheamus cleaned his clock in a quick match. The Celtic Warrior once again proved why he should be back in the World Title hunt. During this match, recently “fired” superstars The Miz and R-Truth were shown at ringside, sitting in their rightfully owned seats as they waved around their ticket stubs. John Lauranitis rushed down with security and had the two conspiracy theorists ejected from ringside.
“Good” Sin Cara vs. “Evil” Sin Cara
The last time we had a match over mistaken identity, was back in 1995 with The Undertaker facing … The Undertaker. One managed by Ted Dibiase, the other by Paul Bearer. The “real’ Undertaker prevailed over the fake (Brian Lee) man from the dead. On SmackDown, the more aggressive Sin Cara revealed his true colors, literally, shedding the blue and gold for black and white. The match, while short, was fast paced. I took a look at the live chat on WWE.com and found The Fink mostly complaining about referees not counting when competitors are outside the ring, and asking if fans liked or disliked the lighting changes when Sin Cara wrestles. It appeared the crowd in New Orleans became bored with the match as some of the high-spots of the match got little-to-no reaction. The “good” Sin Cara prevailed, and I hope for his sake better storylines.
WWE World Tag Team Championships
Air-Boom defeats Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler
This match features four men who are all great athletes, but being stuck in tag teams will not benefit any of their careers. Ziggler has the potential to be a real world champion. His one World Heavyweight Title reign came on a technicality when Edge got disqualified, but promptly lost the title back to Edge. I believe Ziggler will be a main event heel within the year. Swagger is a former world champion, and although I do not see him adding another world title reign in his future, I do think other singles title reigns are in his future. Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne both have high flying talent, but both need to bring something new to the ring if they will have a chance to extend their careers. The match between these two teams was fast-paced, and I honestly thought new tag team champions would be crowned, however the high-risk tactics of Air-Boom prevailed, sending Vickie Guererro into hysterics.
Hell In The Cell Match No. 1
World Heavyweight Championship
Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry
Orton and Henry in the same ring is a strange sight. Orton and Henry in the same ring with the World Title at stake once thought impossible. Now, take that and add Hell in the Cell? Unbelievable. After 15 long years, Henry finally crowned a World Champion. In the same year, he main events in a Hell in the Cell match. I never saw that coming. Henry dominated the majority of the match, tossing Orton around like a doll. The match clearly showed dominance from the World’s Strongest Man. Orton made his comeback, even nailing the RKO for only a one-count. Orton ran towards Henry for a second, but Henry caught, countered, and crushed Orton with the World’s Strongest Slam for the three-count. I said it before, and I will say it again. Mark Henry will go to WrestleMania with the World Heavyweight Championship.
Cody Rhodes defeats John Morrison in an impromptu Intercontinental Title Defense
Rhodes chose to antagonize the New Orleans crowd, and even unveiled the Intercontinental Title Belt from the ’90s as his new championship. I always liked that title. However, Triple H thought that Rhodes was out of line by interrupting the show, and sent Morrison to the ring for a match. Morrison, another outstanding star with outstanding abilities, once again came up a loser at a pay-per-view as his high-flying, high-risk, high-praise assaults were no match for a simple roll-up by Rhodes, earning the three count and retaining his title.
Beth Phoenix (finally) defeats Kelly Kelly for the Divas Championship I apologize to fans of the Women’s division in WWE. I hate it. The match was nothing but Kellyx2 struggling to do moves that trained professionals are capable of, her yelling every time she did something the required actual strength and not aerobics, and me cringing at the waste of air time. Thankfully, with some proper interference by Natalya, the Glamazon smashed the pretty little nose of Kellyx2 into the mat with the Glam Slam, and finally, a woman not resembling a broomstick is champion.
Hell In The Cell Match No. 2
WWE Championship Match
Alberto del Rio vs. CM Punk vs. John Cena
John Cena is a 10-time WWE Champion. Two-time World Heavyweight Champion. I hate to say it, but in 2012, the wrestling world will implode as I predict John Cena surpassing Triple H in the World championship titleholder department. It goes without saying anyone 16-and-under cheers for Cena while the rest of the crowd alternates between “Cena sucks” or “CM Punk!”
I am impressed with the level of toughness in this match, despite what people say or think about Cena, he gives it his all in these matches. I give a lot of praise to Alberto del Rio for taking a beating. Guys like him you would never expect to compete in match considered as hardcore, but del Rio here gets my nod of approval. CM Punk? The guy is the best in the world at what he does, no level of praise will cover the respect he deserves. Onto the match, chairs are brought in early on as Cena is brutalized by del Rio and Punk winds up with some deep cuts on his back from being thrown and dragged on the cell. Not a whole lot of wrestling, just a lot of ruthless aggression by all three men. Cena and Punk exchange blows until del Rio clocks both men. Alberto makes many pin attempts, all thwarted by a kickout or interference. The action heats up as everyone attempts their finishing submissions, but no one can get the tap-out victory. Del Rio is sent to the mat by Cena. Punk stares at Cena as he does his “You Can’t See Me” hand wave, which gets him a kick to the head, courtesy of Punk! The Straight-Edge Superstar heads to the top rope, but del Rio pushes Punk off, sending him crashing through a table on the outside. Cena snaps up and locks the STF on Alberto del Rio, but Ricardo manages to get into the cell to break the hold! Cena slams Ricardo with the Attitude Adjustment, but del Rio knocks Cena from the cell, closes the door and locks it! Cena is locked out of the cell! Del Rio hits a German suplex on Punk for a two-count! Punk does not stay down, until del Rio introduces a lead pipe, and bashes Punk repeatedly with them until he stays down. Alberto del Rio makes the cover, gets the three-count and becomes a two-time WWE Champion.
The event is not over! Miz and Truth storm the ring, the locker room empties out, Triple H runs out, Lauranitis runs out, the COPS run out!? The pay-per-view ends in complete disarray. I am unsure where WWE is going with this angle with Miz and Truth. I get that there is a conspiracy at work behind the scenes, but the confusion is beginning to hurt the storyline. It began with Punk, then to Triple H, now to Truth and Miz, Lauranitis, Kevin Nash, and who is next to become involved? Stephanie McMahon? Michael Cole? Hacksaw Jim Duggan?
I would say this show was better than expected in terms of outcome, but overall the action seemed either slow, or rushed. Two extremes that do not work well on pay-per-view. I would say my favorite match was the triple threat between Cena, Alberto, and Punk, but the unannounced Tag Team Title match is a close second. I thought during the show, where is Bryan Danielson? What about Ted Dibiase and Wade Barrett? Where are the other guys that make Raw and SmackDown entertaining? I hope the conclusion of the Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara drama took place in that ring tonight. The crowd in New Orleans was not into it at all, and frankly, I doubt the audience at home had much interest. I fear Sin Cara already suffers from Rey Mysterio Syndrome, which is when a novelty becomes bland too quickly. I am happy that Alberto del Rio got his WWE Championship back, now WWE can begin the build towards Cena and The Rock at Survivor Series. Before we can get to that though, as we move to the next pay-per-view event, Vengeance on Oct. 23, just three weeks away.
