… I can’t believe I volunteered for this. It’s my inner Jew. This whole thing about eight crazy nights is absurd. The film very loosely ties the “miracle of Chanukah” which has NOTHING to do with the “miracle of Christmas.” Short history lesson folks, a shitload of Jews died when the Greeks invaded and demolished Jerusalem, however one Menorah remained standing. The miracle is the jar of oil had only enough for one night, but somehow lasted for eight nights. The whole gift-giving present shtick came around only a hundred or so years ago.
Adam Sandler’s animated tale of grief, suffering, loss of his parents in a car accident, and alcoholism is right up there with his other movies we like to forget existed. His character, Davey is the town pariah and booze hound, suffering from depression and overall being an asshole. In the opening scene he runs off from paying a restaurant bill and winds up destroying the Santa/Menorah sculpture. Instead of being carted off to prison, Whitey (also voiced by Sandler), a volunteer referee and Davey’s former basketball coach vouches for him to do community service. In case you didn’t know, “Whitey” is a senile loon from Sandler’s audio comedy routines.
In typical Adam Sandler fashion, he reunites with his childhood girlfriend who is now a single mother. Of course she is. Following a number of sexual jokes, a sudden disastrous event, and a whirlwind of bad songs and repetitive jokes, Davey finds the one item (a Chanukah card), and a “Chanukah miracle” which cues a forced moment of acceptance and clarity to save the day. It’s a complete cut-and-paste of his other movies, animated or live-action, and replacing a cheesy-Christmas theme story with Chanukah.
Remember how I said earlier the miracle was one jar of oil lasting eight nights? Well, in Adam Sandler’s version, one roadside nail somehow punctured all eight tires of a bus he was using to run away, subliminally sending him a message to go back to town and make things right. Don’t you see how the events are related? I’ll get you a microscope. While you are using it, find my interest of ever watching this movie again.
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Michael Dworkis is a man of vast talent and industry. A former writer and corporate assistant of World Wrestling Entertainment, “MSD” is the Wrestling Columnist for Pop-Break, as well as contributing columns related to comics, movies, pop-culture, and of course, anything Transformers. He recently completed and obtained his Masters degree in Mental Health in Counseling, and recently became licensed to practice as an LAC by the National Board of Certified Counselors. If you need either a therapist or your wrestling fix, come to this man. Michael also is a graduate of Rutgers University with a degree in Journalism and Mass Media, and previously managed an internet retail company. He blames Bill for having so much wrestling on the site and pleads with his superiors to create a feature on his very own Transformer Collection and to subdue Michael Bay for a serious talk. Michael is still searching for a Japanese Grand Maximus or any Japanese Generation 1 exclusives. See more of Michael at MichaelDworkis.com and follow on Twitter @Omegax80.
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