Written by Bill Bodkin & Michael Dworkis
Bittersweet show tonight, as tonight is the final WWE show to be held in the Nassau Coliseum, as it is slated to be the final wrestling show before the storied stadium is closed down.
Hour 1 Coverage by Bill Bodkin
Good Thing RAW Openers with Authority Promos Because When I Tune In Late I Miss Nothing Segment: Seriously, what’d I miss? Same thing as every week? Good.
Yay! Dean Ambrose Segment: Ambrose is so God damn over it’s ridiculous. If and when he wins the WWE Title, the entire wrestling world will explode with joy. He’s a dynamic promo, and I hate the fact his Human Centipede joke fell flat, it was so good.
Keeping Roman Strong Segment: Ambrose heads to the ring to confront The Authority, but of course, freaking Roman Reigns comes out. He has to always be in the main event picture. I like Roman as a human being (as far as I could tell from his documentary), and he’s decent in the ring, but please stop shoving him down my damn throat.
Roman Reigns & Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins & Kane in a ‘This Match Starts…Right…Now!’ Match: So Roman is going to get the crap booed out of him all night. Why? He’s in New York. People don’t like him there. This match is actually of true main event quality. Rollins’ flying knee to the temple is beautiful. Dean and Roman vacillated playing the Ricky Morton roll. The two are actually a dynamic tag team, and if they weren’t main event dudes they would be great tag champs. Roman gets his moments in with multiple Superman punches including one to Jamie Noble who sold it like a million bucks. Ambrose and Rollins have a great finish sequence – a block super kick, a blocked Dirty Deeds, a block rewind clothesline, and then a great high angle backslide for the win. Winner: Ambrose & Reigns.
When the hell was the last time someone won via a backslide? Seriously!
Dean Ambrose in a Let’s Start a Shitty Angle Backstage Angle: Ambrose brawls with J&J (which is great), and then ‘accidentally’ slugs a ‘camera man’ (obviously an indie guy). So this will undoubtedly lead to some stupid, ‘Oh you’re not getting the title shot because you struck a non-wrestling employee of WWE.’ Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Entourage Shows Up: I care not.
R Truth vs. Rusev in a Rematch From Extreme Rules 2014 Match: So, this was dumb. R Truth is in the Elimination Chamber. He’s a ‘top contender’ for the IC Title. He then jobs to Rusev in under a minute. Couldn’t they have sent out Zach Ryder? One of the Usos? Heath Slater? Fandango? Winner: Rusev crushes with The Accolade.
Hour 2 & 3 Coverage by Michael Dworkis
After the match, Rusev begs for Lana to come to the ring, and offers reconciliation. Have the forgotten they are supposed to be foreigners? The English from both miraculously improved. Rusev then tells Lana she was wrong to have translated his “I Quit” statement during his match with Cena, to which Lana suddenly turns sour. She turns on Rusev, of course. Dolph Ziggler meets here at the stage, and the pair get on with the smooch. Rusev throws a Christian-esque tirade.
Backstage: The Cameraman who Ambrose “punched” seems to feel pressured to press charges. We get the tired and old routine of “guy gets arrested only to obviously return at the end of the show bit” beginning here. Lots of forced laughter and celebration.
King Barrett is in the ring for his bout with Ryback. Barrett being King means diddly-squat, as Ryback makes squishy, continuing this bizarre push for Wade Barrett. I can’t even.
Stephanie and Triple H are in their makeshift office gloating about getting rid of Ambrose when the cast of Entourage walk in. Our boredom increases as one of them mentions Rhonda Rousey, acting like a buffoon while Steph, HHH, and the rest of us roll our eyes at this blatant plug.
Stardust and The Arrow (Stephen Amell) have a tense moment before Adrian Neville hits the ring and we get a match. Crowd hot for Neville, while taunting his opponent with “Cody” chants. Really wonder how long Star Dust will last? Bo Dallas struts out however Neville ignores the annoyance, hitting the Red Arrow (irony?) for the win. Bo Dallas then attacks Neville, pushing their confrontation for Elimination Chamber.
Another segment with Zack Ryder, random Divas, and Entourage. This sucks.
I’d like to see Star Dust vs. The Arrow.
Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler is an entertaining one, Ziggler sells everything like a million bucks. Sheamus, while bland, serves his purpose as a big brute of a guy who can demolish people when needed. Otherwise, he makes good “push-fodder” meaning he can lose to someone needing a good boost. Tonight, Rusev enters the fray, eating a superkick, however then turns and eats a Brough Kick for it. Rusev gloats while Lana looks on like a sad puppy.
We have a lot of individual feuds brewing, however the upcoming events have major multi-competitor matches. We will see Ziggler and Rusev in the Chamber together on Sunday, will we also see them in the Money in the Bank Match as well?
Recap of Mr. KO himself, Kevin Owens leveling Cena with the Pop-Up Powerbomb and stepping on the United States Championship while hoisting the NXT Championship overhead. Yes, they will collide at Elimination Chamber. I am very happy Cena has This week, John Cena comes out, continuing to issue his U.S. Open Challenge. Cena talks about how he appreciates the support from those who chant “Let’s go Cena.” However, he then addresses the “Cena Sucks” chanters, stating so far, no one has been able to dethrone him, however putting over Owens saying they “Cena Sucks” chants may turn into “Fight Owens Fight!” Gotta hand it to Cena, he knows how o put a guy over while still promising to ‘overcome’ everything.
In a “oh crap” moment, the cast of Entourage come out, turning the “oh hell no” into “oh hell yes,” as they introduce Long Island’s very own Zack Ryder. Very important since this is the last WWE show to be held in the Nassau Coliseum before they close it down.
This was a cute match. The announce team tried really hard to give credibility to the mere thought of Ryder winning, even with members from Entourage interfering. Ryder hit all his big moves, the Broski Boot, the Impaler, and even the Rough Rider. Sadly, the end came after Ryder SHOCKED EVERYONE by going for a 450 Splash off the top, however Cena dodged, and Ryder went splat. Cena hits the AA, and this one is over. Entourage celebrate with both Cena and Ryder. Well, it was nice for a hometown boy to get a high-profile match…
…. HOLY CRAP IT’S KEVIN OWENS!!! Owens attacks and SPLATTERS Cena all over the mat with another Pop-Up Powerbomb!
Backstage “Let’s be predictable” Segment: Steph, HHH, and Rollins comment about how tough Owens is, and Triple H’s confidence in new talent seemed to have scared Seth Rollins. Renee Young enters, asking for an update on Ambrose, and he’s still in jail. Wah.
Paige vs. Tamina Snuka
Announced: Diva’s Title Triple Threat Match, Nikki Bella defends against Paige and Naomi. Yet in the ring, we have Paige vs. Tamina. All I can ponder is why WWE can’t freakin’ figure out whether Bellas are face or heel. It’s not difficult, because NO ONE cares. Much like this match, because Tamina has never been used well, and win or lose, Tamina always loses. In this case, Tamina was actually allowed to win the match, but is completely worthless since she is NOT in the title picture at all.
Winner: Tamina Snuka
The New Day is here and the crowd, while still chanting “New Day Sucks” is still dancin’ and clappin’ with the trio. See, this is what they should have just done from the start. Comically, they whine about the Chamber match, saying they are being “persecuted for being positive.” Big E. Langston rips into the crowd, talking about how the arena is being torn down and the local Hockey team leaving. Suddenly, KANE shows up, and orders the New Day to face off with ALL of their opponents in a 10-on-3 handicap match. This just became funny. The match goes all of three minutes until the match becomes a brawl, until the Lucha Dragon decimate everyone with dual to-rope plancha. Apparently, The New Day won the match by DQ. Cesaro and Kid have the last laugh with the Swing Shot combo.
Nice promo for the upcoming Daniel Bryan special, titled Yes! Yes! Yes! So sad.
In another moment of amazement, posted to WWE’s YouTube page, Seth Rollins is seen pushing the cameraman into Ambrose. Sigh… What is more striking is how JBL is so passionate about how a cameraman is considered a “civilian” and was innocent. Does JBL not think about the words which flood out of his mouth.
We are at the 11pm hour as The Authority makes their way out to proclaim Seth Rollins will not have an opponent at Elimination Chamber due to Ambrose being reckless and still in jail. Instead, Roman Reigns must look strong, by attacking, and failing at that.
Suddenly, we hear sirens, and the police wagon is back, being driven by Officer Ambrose! Dressed as a cop, he takes out the Authority. Armed with nightsticks, Ambrose and Reigns tee off on Rollins. Reigns looks strong by handing Ambrose the contract, which he signs, and thus closes the show.
Well, this was a weird send-off before Elimination Chamber.
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Michael Dworkis is a man of vast talent and industry. A former writer and corporate assistant of World Wrestling Entertainment, “MSD” is the Wrestling Columnist for Pop-Break, as well as contributing columns related to comics, movies, pop-culture, and of course, anything Transformers. He recently completed and obtained his Masters degree in Mental Health in Counseling, and recently became licensed to practice as an LAC by the National Board of Certified Counselors. If you need either a therapist or your wrestling fix, come to this man. Michael also is a graduate of Rutgers University with a degree in Journalism and Mass Media, and previously managed an internet retail company. He blames Bill for having so much wrestling on the site and pleads with his superiors to create a feature on his very own Transformer Collection and to subdue Michael Bay for a serious talk. Michael is still searching for a Japanese Grand Maximus or any Japanese Generation 1 exclusives. See more of Michael at MichaelDworkis.com and follow on Twitter @Omegax80.
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