Alright. During the show the announce team hype that Extreme Rules was the most talked about on social media last night. Maybe it’s because everyone trashed it?
I guess negative talk is still talk, right?
Nice short tribute to Masa Saito before the show starts.
Kurt Angle kicks off ready to strip Brock Lesnar of the Universal Championship, but Rabbi Paul Heyman interrupts and attempts to stall the official stripping. That sounds weird. Of course, it doesn’t happen, and in the end Brock will defend at SummerSlam. So, another month without him. No one cares. In order to decide the challenger, we have a number of wrestlers interrupting the segment to each proclaim they should be #1 contender. Fast forwarding the interruptions and rambling, we get two triple threat matches, Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor vs. Drew McIntyre for one finalist, and Elias vs. Seth Rollins vs. Bobby Lashley to determine a second finalist. The two winners will face off for the #1 contendership.
Heaven help us if it comes to Reigns vs. Lashley again, with Reigns winning. Because this would be “vintage” WWE.
Constable Constipated Bacon Bits Rorbin whines about Angle not including him.
Is he wrestler or sideshow lackey?
Roman Reigns defeats Finn Balor & Drew McIntyre
Because he’s gotta look strong. Of course he does. He loses last night and wins tonight. Balor and McIntyre might as well have wrestled the whole match and then have Reigns show up to pin Balor. Bleh.
Dolph Ziggler in the ring, giving props to Seth Rollins and puts over the fact the Intercontinental Championship was the main event attraction for the first time in 17 years. I remember in 1992 when it was The British Bulldog defeating Bret Hart for the IC Championship at SummerSlam. Tonight, he defends against Bobby Roode. Finally, Glorious Bobby is doing something.
Dolph Ziggler defeats Bobby Roode
So much for that. Not clear if the title was on the line or not, but Roode still loses. It was a good match, but man, these booking decisions are really head-scratching lately. I have no idea what WWE is doing…
…Mojo Rawley pokes fun at Bobby Roode
Until this happens. Now I know what WWE is thinking. Daydreams of rainbows floating out of cactus covered squirrels.
Mojo Rawley defeats Tyler Breeze
Because he can. Let’s move on please?
Bayley & Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox & Dana Brooke go to a countout.
Forgettable match. Forgettable angle. Banks saves Bayley. Backstage, Banks says she doesn’t need Dr. Shelby (to be fair, none of us need Dr. Shelby) for her to tell Bayley she will always be her friend, even if they have to fight each other. Banks doesn’t need to share her feelings. Just tells it like it is.
Does this mean the horrible horrible angle is over now? Will Bayley stop pouting?
Braun Strowman Backstage
He doesn’t need to be a contender, he’s got a briefcase. He’s not wrong you know.
The B-Team defeat The Ascension
Yep. Post match titantron promo from Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy, they want their rematch next week.
Alexa Bliss and Mickie James gloat about Extreme Rules. Inevitably, they utter the name “Ronda Rousey” and sure enough, she arrives to pummel everyone. After a strange interjection from Chief Morbin, Kurt Angle announces Rousey vs. Bliss for the RAW Women’s Championship at SummerSlam. Well, not horrible.
The Authors of Pain plow through Titus Worldwide
Titus O’Neal and Apollo Crews are bona-fide enhancement talent. AoP destroy ’em. Bad commentary on Corey Graves, pointing out the crowd is dead silent and trying to pass it off as a “shocked and stunned crowd.” No, a crowd who is tired of being bored to death.
Backstage: Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan sort of cut through No Way Jose and his conga line.
Sarah Logan defeats Ember Moon
Hey, something acceptably different! Logan and Morgan need something like this. They should be taken more seriously in order to stay above the ground and not get buried deep like Asuka. Yes, I am very bitter about Asuka being Carmella’s personal jobber fodder.
Main Event Time!
Elias starts off by openly sharing being in Buffalo gives him symptoms of depression. Mental health is no joke folks. Apparently he has an album coming out in a week. This might have been the best news on RAW all night. His trash-talking song is interrupted by Seth Rollins. Decent main event, but… sadly, the finish EVERYONE saw coming happened. Bobby Lashley wins, which means next week we get Reigns vs. Lashley II.
I am calling it now. Roman Reigns defeats Bobby Lashley next week. Announce team plays up how Reigns lost at Extreme Rules, hoping fans will fall for the bait and switch and think Reigns will lose, but OH MY! Look at that! Somehow “Underdog” Reigns overcame the odds and won!
Great job WWE. You’ve proven you have officially run out of ideas.
