If you’ve ever seen an acting challenge on Drag Race, you have an idea of what you’re going to get with Stop! That! Train! Sight gags (a “beautiful redhead” who turns out to be a Raggedy Ann-esque doll), celebrity cameos (Sarah Michelle Gellar as herself, desperate to be recognized) and drag queens galore (including RuPaul as a President with a dark secret). The comedy here is decidedly ridiculous, but it’s too often dragged down by overly convoluted plotting and character work.
The plot, such as it is, follows Deedee (Jujubee) and Tess (Ginger Minj), two Stank Rail employees who dream of a more glamorous life on the Glamazonian Express. They get their chance when layoffs and a costume change land them on a Florida-bound Glamazonian train. However, their plans to finally see the US are derailed when Donna (Rachel Bloom), a frumpy railroad dispatcher, discovers the train is headed right into a “Stormaganza”.
Based on that description, you can already tell how absurd Stop! That! Train! is and the film is often funnier the less sense it makes. Director Adam Shankman sets the tone early: the opening credits play over a montage of train stock footage that includes everything from degraded silent film images to toy trains. When a title card pops up saying the film is a true story and that everything we’re about to see actually happened, we know we’re going to get something that looks camp right in the eye.
Whether it’s a character saying that the train’s brakes are fried followed by a shot of crispy, deep-fried brakes or Nicole Richie as a woman who needs help storing her dead mother’s coffin on an overhead shelf many of the film’s best jokes lack any greater context or explanation. That said, because the film’s joke density is so high, not every bit works. There’s a scene early on when Tess tries to remind Deedee of something she said when they first met, but Deedee makes multiple wrong and increasingly strange guesses in a row before Tess just tells her. It’s a funny enough moment in isolation, but writers Christine Friel and Connor Wright immediately repeat the same bit moments later and it unforgivably slows down the film’s comedic pacing.
Admittedly, some of the moments that fall flat may be due to performance rather than writing or editing. While Canada’s Drag Race host Brooke Lynn Hytes is pitch perfect as a mean-girl and former regular franchise contestant Latrice Royale nails her role as Barbra, a woman with seemingly endless jobs, not everyone can handle the material. Drag Race season 13 winner Symone can’t quite imbue her natural star power into her character, Ayshleiygh, while Broadway’s Cabaret alum Marcia Marcia Marcia feels a bit too affected and it doesn’t help that they share most of their scenes with Hytes. However, they’re minor characters and it’s in the main performances where the film ultimately falters.
Jujubee is one of Drag Race’s most naturally funny stars, yet she feels underutilized. Certainly, she lands some tough jokes, like dropping that Cal (Brian Jordan Alvarez) the conductor she’s had a crush on for years was featured in “Conductors We Want to See the Dick Of Magazine”. But she’s also saddled with some runners that fall flat, like a recurring nosebleed bit that only works the first time. More crucially, her Deedee is somewhat secondary to Ginger Minj’s Tess, who, while giving a serviceable performance, doesn’t quite project the likability and empathy that character needs to get the audience on her side.
Still, much as the film is built around the queens, it’s ultimately bolstered by the bonafide comedians and actors in smaller roles. Matt Rogers doesn’t set a foot wrong as the President’s head advisor. Bloom nails every moment of physical comedy she’s given. Missi Pyle is hilariously weird as a horny divorcee. Even Alvarez, despite the discomfort viewers may have in seeing him given the allegations leveled against him late last year (https://www.vulture.com/article/brian-jordan-alvarez-allegations-jon-ebeling-english-teacher.html) is hilarious as Cal, perpetually mewing and talking in a bass, dumb jock voice through the whole film. Most satisfying of all, RuPaul seems calibrated exactly right to the film’s sense of humor.
While Stop! That! Train! likely isn’t destined to become a classic, it is silly enough to give audiences something fun to watch with friends during Pride Month. With the right people and, perhaps, the right amount of alcohol, it is non-stop laughs. Sure, not all of the jokes work and some bits outstay their welcome, but we don’t come to the RuPaul Cinematic Universe for perfection, we come for silly nonsense.
