Review: The Masked Singer is the Most Insane & Intoxicating Show of the Century

FOX’s new reality competition series The Masked Singer is one of the most absolute batshit crazy, stupefyingly terrible, and yet wonderfully intoxicating fever dreams American television has ever produced.

The show, a remake of the South Korean series King of the Masked Singer, is just wild, and it’s almost impossible to have a concrete, unflinching feeling about it. That’s mostly because it like a David Lynch film — there’s no one real genre, or world that it lies in. One moment the judges (more on them later), and the audience are looking at clues to determine who the masked singer is, the next you’re thinking about performances, and then you’re rooting for your favorite masked character…all while still wondering who this person in the mask actually is.

However, it actually doesn’t matter who a singer is because only the singer with the lowest score will be forced to reveal who they are. So, literally we could be guessing for weeks who a singer is.

And yes, let’s not forget this is actually a singing competition. There is a panel of judges (seriously we’ll get to them shortly) that has to critique their performance — while also guessing who the singer is. Then it’s up the audience to decide who definitely advances to the next round, and who could possibly be eliminated.

Got that? Yeah, it’s God damn confusing. But, for some reason I’m okay with this ass backwards rules system.

However, the judges…are another story altogether. They’re literally the worst thing about the show. The “problematic panel” of Robin Thicke, Ken Jeong, Jenny McCarthy, and Nicole Scherzinger are just instant cringe — and that’s before they open their mouths. Once they start talking this show becomes “burn it with fire” bad. Each of them tries to be either the smartest or funniest person in the room. Spoilers — they fit in neither category. To be fair, Robin Thicke is the most logical of the panel, but man you just get the douche chills when you hear or see him.

Then there’s Nick Cannon, the host. BECAUSE OF COURSE HE’S THE HOST. Everything he says is a verbal grenade exploding on the fire engulfed train wreck all the non-signing segments are.

Then there’s the actual costumes, and singing. Everyone is dressed like they’re in at a Mad Max-themed furry party, or have stumbled out from the nuclear pools of a post-apocalyptic wasteland. They are frightening as all hell, and if you are on any sort of mind-altering drug while watching this, you are absolutely screwed.

Now, the actual singing part is as expected…some good, some awful. The guessing on who could be behind the mask — I will totally cop to the fact it’s engrossing as hell. You’re literally playing this weird detective game trying to use clues to figure out who the masked singers are. Like I said before, the reveals might not happen for weeks, but you will find yourself racking your brain to figure out who the singers are.

The Masked Singer is either the greatest show ever created, or is a glimpse into the collapse of human civilization as we know it. It’s an absolute train wreck, but you’re compelled to watch…and engage in every aspect of the show.

After watching this show, I don’t know what reality is any more, and I think I’m okay with it.

Rating: I literally cannot give this a tangible rating.