It’s the greatest Money in the Bank ever! Because that is what the promo-guy says and the announce team hype before the show even starts!
The Pre-show has two weird matches. Breezango or Fabreezo have a weird sunburn thing going. I don’t get it. They do complement each other, but the antics are just too weird. I don’t get it. I really don’t get it. Golden Truth does not gel right. It feels way too forced. This match, sorry, felt like a dud. Golden Truth wins via pinfall.
Second match of the pre-show, features a much better match between The Dudley Boyz and the Lucha Dragons. Bubba Dudley shows some agility himself, and we get a nice contrast between the veterans and the luchadores. Dudleys nearly got the win on multiple occasions, but as expected they maintain their role of enhancement talent, doing the job, where Sin Cara and Kalisto win with dual finishers.
We get a really long promo for most of tonight’s matches. I want this to start already. I’m eager with anticipation for the first match.
WWE World Tag Team Championship Match: The New Day vs. The Club vs. The Vaudevillians vs. Enzo and Cass
Wow. This match was fantastic. The pre-match banter featuring Enzo and Cass, and then from the New Day were hysterical. The match broke down into wild brawls at a few points, Gallows and Anderson looked like monsters, which is something lacking since their debut. Vaudevillians nearly took the win, but each time someone broke up the pinfall. One thing I noticed, there appeared to be some miscommunication at points, not sure if the pace got too fast and some miscues took place. In any case, we got some wild action, culminating with The New Day dropping Anderson for the big finish.
Winners and still WWE Tag Team Champions: The New Day
Backstage promo with Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, and Alberto del Rio was hysterical. Dying with laughter. Owens bashing everything del Rio and Jericho says and does. It’s everything we want to say if we had the chance. Ridiculing the same clichéd lines repeated over and over. Owens is a verbal genius.
Bacon Rorbin defeats Dolph Ziggler
Sorry, this one was sloppy and sluggish. Ziggler sold everything, because that, is what Dolph Ziggler does. Sells everything, even if it sucks. The crowd takes a collective dump on the match, and I can’t blame them. Sorry Bill, this match resembled pig. Pig = Bacon.
Charlotte & Dana Brooke defeat Natalya & Becky Lynch
Short match, decent, with a confusing ending. Dana is very irritating. I don’t like her. She does the cheerleading so far over the top, it’s more of an annoyance. She didn’t really contribute much except assisting Charlotte. This one broke down easily, Brooke throws Lynch into Natalya, allowing Charlotte to hit Natural Selection for the pinfall victory. The significant part takes place post-match, where Natalya appears to have an emotional breakdown and beats the tar out of Lynch. Natalya snaps gimmick. Uh oh.
Backstage: Dean Ambrose is interviewed. He’s chilled. He’s ready to have fun diving off a ladder.
Apollo Crews defeats Sheamus
I like Crews, but I think he could have used a bit more time in NXT first. He seems too green, too smiley, too happy. They replayed some altercations between the two on RAW and SmackDown, and I just don’t get the right vibe. He’s too happy. You aren’t supposed to be happy when fighting with someone. Sheamus plays the role of bully in this one, and his overconfidence led to his downfall. A lazy cover is countered into a rollup. Yay.
“The match which should have been saved for WrestleMania” AJ Styles vs. John Cena
Seriously. This is the billing for this. What a match. Started off with a back and forth stalemate, developing into an all-out war. Cena clearly played a role appearing to have difficulty keeping up, but pulled out some great spots. Styles put on a great performance. We saw a ton of near-falls, submissions, I thoroughly enjoyed this match. The conclusion, as expected, went a bit awry. No clean finish tonight, as the ref takes a bump, allowing The Club to interfere and assist Styles with gaining the pinfall victory. Calling it now, this feud goes all the way to SummerSlam.
Money in the Bank: Dean Ambrose vs. Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro vs. Alberto del Rio vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens
Dean Ambrose wins.
So this one was freakin’ nuts. It was crazy. Spots, spots, everywhere. Cesaro swings Jericho into a ladder. Zayn hits a Michinoku Driver on Owens on the narrow side of the ladder. That earned one of many holy $*** chant. Owens powerbombs Zayn on the ladder. Cesaro eats a ladder to the face. Del Rio forces the ladder into Zayn’s gut. Ambrose just dives everywhere, maybe he hits someone, maybe he doesn’t. This one was nuts, as expected. Ambrose winning, might have been expected by some, but I didn’t think it was going to happen. But it certainly makes tonight’s championship bout that more interesting.
United States Championship: Titus O’Neal vs. Rusev
Kicks off with a double-clothesline on the outside. It’s 10:30. I honestly thought it was going to end in a countout. But nope. We get in the ring and Rusev dominates O’Neal for most of the match. Announce team promotes O’Neal as the national “Mega-Dad” of the year. Titus hit some big powerhouse moves. Two pump-handle slams and a short-running powerslam. Sadly, Rusev nails two big thrust kicks, followed by the Accolade. In front of Titus’ kids no less, Titus is forced to tap out. Winner and still U.S. Champion: Rusev
WWE Championship Match: Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns
I really can’t recall the last time the WWE Championship match had less hype than a mid-card title bout. However with Ambrose winning the Money in the Bank contract, this suddenly makes for interesting television. Obviously, we now watch to see if Ambrose will cash in and make it the Triple Threat match featuring The Shield. However, I think this might get saved for another night, as they are using the opportunity to guarantee no one will change the channel.
In any case, as expected, Reigns “looked strong” in this one because “the guy” has to manhandle Rollins. Also, as expected, the crowd took a huge dump on this one. Chants ranging from “Roman Sucks” and “You can’t wrestle” to “boring” and “JBL.” I had a difficult time paying attention to this. Crowd came to life when Reigns planted Rollins with a crucifix powerbomb, then later Rollins nailed two consecutive dives. Pace picked up as Rollins blocked on superman punch, attempted a pedigree, but did eat a punch after a reversal. Rollins sold it like a million bucks. A diving knee and a frog splash by Rollins, brought the crowd back to life after Reigns had control, followed up with a running turnbuckle powerbomb and a superkick which Reigns, to his credit, took it full-on to the face. For a moment, there was worry Rollin was going re-injure himself. Rollins late takes Reigns up and down with a top rope superplex, followed by a Falcon Arrow. I am suddenly amazed, at 11:15pm, this match got interesting. Inevitably, the “We Want Ambrose chants” began. Surprised not sooner, like when the bell rang. Weird spot, Reigns appears hurt after spearing himself into the crowd barrier, but then we get a ref bump. Then, an AMAZING spot with Rollins pedigree-ing Reigns mid-spear. Rollins hits ANOTHER Pedigree… and WINS THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!
Just when you think it’s over… It’s NOT!!! DEAN AMBROSE CASHES IN THE MONEY IN THE BANK! Blitzing Rollins from behind with the briefcase. The bell rings. Ambrose plants Rollins with Dirty Deeds… Covers, and WINS THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP.
DEAN AMBROSE HAS WON THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!
Do you realize what just happened? This is insane. Ambrose, cashes in the same night. Talk about swerved. The most downplayed main event, sure Ambrose, Rollins, and Reigns, teased some tension this past week, but it sure fooled me. It came off like a typical feud-building ploy. I did not expect Rollins to get a clean win over Roman Reigns, and then followed up by Ambrose cashing in.
Good grief. I can’t wait for tomorrow night.
