House of the Dragon is back, and the Season 3 premiere went out of its way to thrill fans with a renegade dragon, an epic sea battle and a whole new brand of uncomfortable family…um, romance? “Salt and Sea, Fire and Blood” was a bold statement that never took its foot off of the accelerator, so why should we? Let’s dive headfirst into the biggest storylines, and the biggest spoilers. Be warned.
Alicent Hightower (Olivia Cooke, Bates Motel) and Rhaenyra Targaryen (Emma D’Arcy, Truth Seekers) drive the action in the premiere as they desperately try to position their forces in support of the backroom deal they made to end the war back in the season two finale. If all goes according to plan, Alicent gets a free pass out of town with her least monstrous children while Rhaenyra gets to waltz through the open gates of King’s Landing with a free pass to collect the head of King Aegon II Targaryen (Tom Glynn-Carney, Dunkirk) – a son for a son.
Much to Alicent’s surprise, she returns home from her backroom deal to learn that Aegon has fled with Larys Strong (Matthew Needham, Napoleon). To make matters worse, her more capable and much more terrifying son Aemond Targaryen (Ewan Mitchell, The Last Kingdom) has placed himself upon the Iron Throne. He is running scared and angry and is desperate for some sort of release after his hasty attempt to behead Maester Orwyle (Kurt Egyiawan, Skyfall) gets interrupted by some pesky information.
This energy absolutely terrifies Alicent, but when her bug-loving, dragon-dreaming daughter Helaena Targaryen (Phia Saban, The Last Kingdom) points out that Aemond is still a scared kid on the inside, Mama Hightower goes to work feeding her son’s ego so that she can get him (and his big-ass dragon) out of King’s Landing for a (relatively) bloodless transition of power. She has her groove back, and she is feeling herself so much that she even sends a message to the Hightower forces on behalf of the king.
Unfortunately, her plan works a bit too well; it turns out the only thing that gives Aemond a bigger thrill than beheading powerless underlings is a kiss from mom. Yup, Aemond’s insatiable hunger for validation has twisted this newfound attention from Alicent into some sort of sexualized desire. It’s enough to make Oedipus blush, and even Alicent seems shaken by the damaged ruins of the boy she let fester into a monster. As performer Ewan Mitchell phrased it for Cosmopolitan: “It’s like ‘I’m the daddy now.’”
Not be outdone on the unhealthy family attachment front, Jace Velaryon (Harry Collett, Dolittle), who lost his innocence at the end of season two with a tirade against his mother’s plan to legitimize smallfolk in the Red Sowing, continues to question his mother’s decision-making before bro-coding a member of the Queensguard to hold Rhaenyra captive in her own bedroom. After the thrill of that betrayal, his eyes light up like the manosphere as he pulls his reluctant wife Baela Targaryen (Bethany Antonia, Nolly) into a clumsy scheme to ride into battle against the Triarchy without a single tactical discussion. He tells himself this decision is about supporting and protecting his mother, but it’s clearly all about him grasping for control of a legacy and claim to the throne that he feels slipping away. Once again, a young man of Westeros doesn’t feel complete until his mother submits to his power.
Over in The Gullet, everybody is about to have a really bad day. Team Green is having a bad day because it turns out that their their contract with the Triarchy was never more than an excuse for Sharako Lohar (Abigail Thorn, The Acolyte) to sail unquestioned in Westerosi waters and settle their score with Corlys Velaryon (Steve Toussaint, Before We Die). We get a well-executed, high-ocatane sea battle full of ballistas, crossbows and guerilla pirates clashing with the traditional armored forces of the Velaryon Fleet.
Of course, we pay a price for this high seas action elsewhere in the episode. Daemon decimates the badass Lannister forces that marched over the closing montage of Season 2 off screen. Fans don’t get much more than a few soldiers hacking away at the corpse of a lion. It’s also another noteworthy loss for Team Green. (P.S. The Winter Wolves are here to “Die for the Dragon Queen.”)
Back at The Gullet, even the aerial support from Jace and Baela is not enough to fully turn the tide of battle. The Triarchy gets pretty burned up, but not before trashing the outnumbered Velaryons. In fact, Lohar cuts through The Sea Snake’s flagship like butter with a single broadside hit, though this assault finally pushes Alyn of Hull (Abubakar Salim, Raised by Wolves) to accept his estranged father’s affection; fueled by a love-infused rage, Alyn defeats Lohar in hand-to-hand combat.
Of course, love is in the air elsewhere as well. Perpetually dragonless Rhaena Targaryen (Phoebe Campbell, Midsomer Murders) finally wins the affection of wild loner dragon Sheepstealer. It starts out pretty cute when Sheepstealer offers his new rider the gift of a regurgitated sheep (he roasts it for her!), but when Rhaena rides her untrained buddy into battle, he panics. He burns every ship in sight, friend or foe, and even lashes out against the other dragons, nearly killing Baela. Team Black has a new dragon – but do they, really? Sheepstealer is a loose canon, and it’s hard to imagine a freshly traumatized Rhaena will be very helpful in the near future.
Of course, it’s not all Rhaena’s fault that The Gullet continues to go wrong for Team Black. Once again, a Westerosi dragon rider forgets that really big arrows are really dangerous for dragons. An overconfident Jace flies too low on two separate occasions and gets his dragon, Vermax, harpooned by pirates…twice. Baela is able to bail out her battle-hungry husband the first time, but the second attempt tethers Vermax to a heavy anchor. He goes down slowly and painfully à la Artax in The Neverending Story (though it should be noted that Jace gives up on his buddy much faster than Atreyu). Jace cuts his losses and surfaces just in time to be unceremoniously finished off by Triarchy crossbow bolts.
It’s a bad day for everyone, but particularly Rhaenyra; she is betrayed by Jace and her Queensguard, and as a result of this betrayal, she realizes her worst fear of losing yet another son to the Dance of Dragons. It’s looking like that one treasonous Queensguard is about to have his own really bad day in the aftermath of this atrocity.
Technically, one person does have a good day at The Gullet, and that is actress Abigail Thorn going out in a blaze of glory as Sharako Lohar. Lohar engages in flashy close-quarters swashbuckling combat, snares a dragon, out-captains The Sea Snake himself on his home turf and cements their legacy as an LGBTQ+ icon by casually dropping their lame Lannister conquest overboard at a pivotal moment. It’s likely that a bunch of book snobs will dismiss this character’s reimagining from the books, and that’s OK, but just let the rest of us have our pirate queen, okay?
Meanwhile, Rhaenyra’s “Dragon Seeds” from season two’s Red Sowing go on a fruitless stakeout to ambush Aemond while discussing the finer points of castle ownership. Ulf (Tom Bennett, After Life) also takes an uncomfortable dump in the woods, but he has a long way to go to match A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms knack for scatological humor. On the plus side, these restless dragon boys get a chance to hang with the baddest witch in Westeros: Alys Rivers (Gayle Rankin, GLOW). It seems like this crew is destined for a bit more action next time on House of the Dragon.
We also get our first look at the foppish Lord Ormund Hightower (James Norton, House of Guinness) as he gathers his forces to support Team Green. He really can’t handle the smells of Westeros, but he does offer his messenger a bath, and we learn that a penchant for luxurious baths is a shared trait amongst the Hightowers.
Of course, the greatest comic relief of the episode comes from Aegon, who almost instantaneously blows his cover because he refuses to feign fealty to Rhaenyra. Larys is forced to save their lives by revealing what a high price King Aegon could fetch on the open market. It should be a blast to see how this odd couple finagles their way out of this mess next week.
Who Won the Week?
Overall, it’s kind of a wash this week. Everybody is still licking their wounds from the Battle of Gullet, Daemon and Riverlanders made mincemeat of those Lannister lions and Rhaenyra seems dead set on charging headfirst into Alicent’s (unintentional) trap. Ultimately, though, this week has to go to Team Green. Rhaenyra was already in a rough spot by the end of this episode, and she is about to find out she has lost another son. To make matters worse, they lost a well-trained dragon (RIP Vermax), and gained a loose cannon in Sheepstealer.
As for the winner of our individual performance honors, those go uncontested to Olivia Cooke for her slick scheming and the various shades of horror she displayed throughout the episode. From the moment she walked into an empty, echoey chamber with Aemond posing on the Iron Throne, she could barely keep her eyes focused in one direction. This might have earned her the top prize on its own, but her successful pivot toward leaning in and feeding her twisted son’s insecurities to maneuver him out of the Red Keep were truly remarkable. Pair that with her brazen willingness to speak on behalf of the king (despite Helaena’s reservations) and Alicent suddenly feels like the smoothest operator in all of Westeros. Ultimately, what caps off this hall of fame performance is her reaction to Aemond’s romantic advances. The pain, disgust, sorrow and guilt on her incredibly meme-able face as a single tear rolls down her cheek leave us with an absolutely legendary moment.
We’ll see you next week when our contenders for the throne do their best to pick up the pieces from this bloodbath of an episode.
