HomeMusicHale Storm: Madonna, overrated?!

Hale Storm: Madonna, overrated?!

ann hale introduces a new column to b&b: Hale Storm

Do you remember the most absurd thing that anyone has ever said to you? I’m talking really absurd. Need an example? There was this one time that the power went at work during a storm and a woman asked me why I didn’t just turn it back on … Yeah … Got it? Alright, now keep that in mind, and brace yourself for what I’m about to tell you.

So, I work at this wellness center in North Carolina where we have this wicked awesome ’90s hits station that plays. Yes, I said wicked, and don’t bash on the ’90s. Anyway, Madonna’s “Take A Bow” was playing and my boss, Mr. Michael Flannigan Horatio Jedidiah O’Hara, and our

Madonna wasn't bulletproof in the '80s. See Desperately Seeking Susan
business manager, who we will call Gordon Farlow, actually said to me that Madonna was overrated. Overrated! ABSURDITY!!! My jaw dropped. I actually had to search for words. Yes, Madonna is kind of a douchebag, and yes, she has a fake British accent and some scary-ass arms, but she definitely is not overrated.

Think about it folks: Name me another Madonna — before she came along, I mean. Yeah, now we have Britney Skanks and Lady Caca, but you know that Madonna was the original. I mean, she defined an entire generation of music. Honestly, how many of you don’t know how to “Vogue”? Who didn’t get a boner during her MTV awards performance of “Like A Virgin?” Okat, I didn’t but only because I’m lacking the proper parts to do so, but I would’ve. I know I was a sobbing mess during “Evita” and you know that “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina” song was pretty darn catchy.

Her style, her music, her attitude, even her horrible movies *cough* Desperately Seeking Susan *cough* were like the herpes of the ’80s entertainment world; They caught on and stuck forever. Saying she is overrated is like saying O.J. was innocent or that Michael Jackson didn’t blow Bubbles.

Let’s look at the facts for a moment. Madonna is on the list of Most Top 40 Hits between The Beatles and Stevie Wonder with 48. She has the most Top 10 singles with 37, beating Elvis, The Beatles AND Michael Jackson. She has had 12 No. 1 hits, spent 32 weeks at No. 1 and had the most No. 2 hits with 6 — once again beating The King. And who is going to say that Elvis was overrated? Over-fed, perhaps, but certainly not overrated — and Madonna rocked HIS ass on the charts.

I’d like everyone to join in with me, as I listen to “Like A Prayer,” and shake your heads and fists at Misters O’Hara and Farlow for their blasphemous and ridiculous ravings about Miss Madonna Crazyface Kabbalah Coneboobs Ciccone. Take that, suckass!

Ann Hale
Ann Hale
Just a giant nerd in love with horror, 80's action flicks, Star Wars and Harry Potter. Hit me up on Twitter or Instagram @scarletjupiter to talk horror or just to browse the horror collection.
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1 COMMENT

  1. I like your writing but could not agree at all with your
    opinion of what’s her name. Different tastes for different people and generations, I guess is the only way to explain it or you got this from Dippy.

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