michael dworkis reviews ‘the grand daddy of them all’…
WrestleMania 28!
Going into WrestleMania, I thought it was the hardest year to predict the winners. I was astonished to watch as I nailed every single match. I have never done that before. Last year I think I only got three right. Strangely enough, it bothered me a bit to have been right. Read on and you will see why.
Pre-show – Primo & Epico retained over The Usos and the team of Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd
In a fast paced match, Prime & Epico retained the belts. This was a match worthy of being on the pay-per-view. This reminded me the good ol’ days of Tag Team wrestling.
Sheamus defeated Daniel Bryan to win the World Heavyweight Championship
I would love to go in great, long detail about the great wrestling between these men… Except the bell rang, Bryan shared a passionate pre-match smooch with his girlfriend AJ, and then turned around in time for Sheamus to punt his head into the upper deck get the three count and thus end the match. I am not joking. While my specific prediction about how the match would end was not correct, but Sheamus still emerged the winner. I am disappointed nonetheless to see two great athletes done with their match in 18 seconds. I shake my head and wonder why WWE chose this route. It probably took you more time to read this one single paragraph than the actual match itself.
Kane defeated Randy Orton
One entertaining thing about this match was the very noticeable chant for Daniel Bryan. Fans are not stupid, they know when they get jipped out of a good match. Instead we got a back-and-forth brawl which ended after Kane chokeslammed Orton off the top rope. This match could have lasted 18 seconds and no one would mind.
Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos defeated Beth Pheonix and Eve
There is nothing to say about this match. Not even 18 seconds worth.
The Big Show pinned Cody Rhodes to win his first-ever Intercontinental Title
This match was really good. Rhodes and Show played the cat-and-mouse game very well, until Rhodes slipped on the rope, because something went wrong as Rhodes went for a second-disaster kick, Show caught him awkwardly and appeared to drill Rhodes onto the mat with a giant elbow right into the groin. One WMD punch later, and we had a new Intercontinental champion. About time and well deserved. The Big Show can now add his name to the list of Grand Slam Champions.
The Undertaker defeated Triple H to End The Era
It was not as good as last year. No doubt, Triple H and Undertaker gave it their all again this year, but something about it felt off. Shawn Michaels was too heavily involved, too many pauses for dramatic effect, and hell, at one point it looked like the three of them were just talking to each other. Was it a great match? No. It was just good, and the result was still satisfying. This is a match I really wish I had more to say about, and considering it was a Hell in the Cell match, I should have more to say, Unfortunately when at least five minutes of the match saw them beat each other with chairs and nothing else, that is all there is to say. There were some intense spots, Triple H driving the Deadman into the ring stairs with a spinebuster and Undertaker hurling The Game all over the cell. I give them credit for an entertaining match. In a real classy moment, the three of them all left the ring, arms over each other, helping each other walk back up the ramp to the stage where they shared a hug, which I think was very well deserved. Michaels, Triple H, and The Undertaker really represent a long-gone era.
Team Johnny beat Team Teddy
As we all could have guessed, this match was a big time filler. The highlight of this one saw Zack Ryder monkey flip Dolph Ziggler into next week. Booker T did get a lot of ring time, but most of it was being beaten on. The end came, thanks to Eve who jumped in the ring, distracted Ryder, allowing The Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale to win the match for Team Johnny. After the match Eve kicked Ryder in the nuts. I was really hoping for more. In a match featuring Dolph Ziggler, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston and The Miz, there should have been more. To my dismay, we had the predictable multiple flying over-the-top plancha spot, the catfight spot, and the comedy spot. Again, the Ryder-to-Ziggler monkey flip of death was incredible. Ryder earned the MVP for that match, and I am very glad to see this whole angle with Eve is done.
Hall of Fame segment
A nice tribute was paid to this year’s Hall of Fame Inductees. The one I cared about was Edge. I really mean it when I say I cared. Edge has had a career like no other in WWE. He was loyal to WWE from the day he started to the day he retired. Never jumped to WCW or TNA. You could see the tears in his eyes. He truly loved what he did, and it hurts me, as I am sure it hurts many wrestling fans that Edge retired too young. A guy like Edge could have gone another four or five years, maybe more. However, he did the right thing. I remember his retirement speech, a week after WrestleMania 27, and he said a line that hit the gut hard. He wants to be able to hold his grandkids. He wants to run with his children and grandchildren. He did not want to be the guy stuck in a wheelchair or have hip replacement surgery in his 30’s. I am proud of his choice, and anyone who frowns on that should be ashamed of themselves. Edge put his body on the line since 1996 and as a result of too many injuries, had to stop last year. I applaud Edge for doing the right thing by going out on a high note. Edge deserves that Hall of Fame spot, and I dare anyone to dispute that.
CM Punk retained the WWE Title against Chris Jericho
This match was as expected. Awesome. Both these guys put on one hell of a show. The flow of the match was incredible, and for a moment I thought I was watching Ring of Honor. Jericho and Punk went move-for-move, beat the tar out of each other and then did it again. One thing I can be honest about, Jericho and Punk really set the example for what a wrestling match should be. I come from a time where mat-based wrestling and submission wrestling was appreciated. Remember the days of Brock versus Angle, or Benoit and Jericho having matches? Punk and Jericho took me back there. It was great, they did their job, you were on the edge of your chair the whole time. After a number of submission attempts by both men, Punk locked in the Anaconda Vice, and held it for a few minutes before Jericho tapped out.
Brodus Clay segment
He called his momma. His momma came out. She danced. Then more “mommas” came out and danced. It was pathetic. What was worse is that I realized that segment lasted 12 Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan matches.
The Rock pinned John Cena
It was not the greatest match, but it was a good one. For the final match of the night I expected a bit more, but the match did deliver what it intended to. Cena and Rock did wrestle, although I think they both threw more punches in that one match than everyone else on the card. They each hit their big moves, and when Cena attempted his own version of The People’s Elbow, The Great One snapped up and splattered Cena with The Rock bottom and pinned him.
It really bothered me that I got every prediction right this year. As I said before, I thought it was difficult to predict the winners. None of the matches felt spectacular.
I counted two real suplexes all night. First was by Kane, second when Jericho suplexed Punk from the ring to the arena floor. The fact that Sheamus and Daniel Bryan got 18 seconds is really poor judgment. Unless, there was a legit reason, that one was injured, there was a problem of some sort… Kane and Orton was a terrible match. It really, really appeared that since Orton knew he was going to lose, he sleptwalk through the match. The big tag team match could have been so much better, but wound up with a bad comedy spot and a really lame finish. Undertaker and Triple gave a good match. I feel because their match last year was so incredible, the bar was set so high that anything less felt disappointing. The inclusion of Michaels was nice, but I thought he took too much away from the match. I am glad Punk and Jericho had a long time for their match. I see more matches in their future.
As for The Rock and John Cena, I believe the real effects will be felt in the next few weeks. Was it worth the year of hype? It did not feel like Rock vs. Hogan. It was a decent match though, but maybe they could have done more. At the end of the show, I was left satisfied, and yet I was not. Maybe you, the reader feel the same way. While the show did entertain, there is the feeling that something was missing.
Maybe it was Edge.
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