Dan Cohen: Morty Seinfeld, Seinfeld

Whenever there was a storyline involving Morty Seinfeld, I knew we were in for a great episode. He’s one of the most underrated characters in all of Seinfeld. Some of my favorite episodes used him as a central figure, including “The Raincoats,” where he and Kramer go into business of selling Morty’s old rain coat design (The Executive) to Rudy’s, the used clothing store. The problem is they have to get them shipped from Florida to New York before the Seinfeld’s Paris vacation. Another obstacle is Jack Klompus, who claims the key doesn’t work to Morty’s garage. This was a two-parter. God, I love Seinfeld.

Yeah, yeah, they played off Jewish stereotypes, including Morty’s propensity for cheapness and bargains. These jokes sure were hilarious though. He gets so excited about the new tip calculator. “We’ll round down.” That’s one of my favorite lines. Interesting to note that Philip Bruns originally played Morty in the first season, but when Season Two rolled around, in came Barney Martin. I’m not sure what happened, and no offense to Mr. Bruns, but Martin played the part flawlessly. It’s an understated character, but the performance fit the Seinfeld world just as well as anybody.

Morty seemed more concerned with mundane tasks then his own son, but he was no doubt a good dad to Jerry, and always appreciative of his birthday gifts. He even wore the “# 1 Dad” shirt constantly, despite it being two sizes too small. At one point, Morty was concerned with Jerry’s personal fitness, and spared no expense in buying sessions from Izzy Mandelbaum (“You think you’re better than me?”).

So here’s to you, Morty Seinfeld! May you always find the best bargain. Let’s give a final salute to the best damn Del Boca Vista Condo President there ever was.

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