Tonight’s RAW comes off the heels of a bizarre Royal Rumble. John Cena wins the WWE Championship, and celebrates with a Make A Wish child. One has to wonder, if his wish was Cena winning the title.
Randy Orton wins the Rumble, Jack Gallagher enters his first Rumble, and is the first eliminated.
Goldberg eliminates Brock Lesnar like he was Barry Horowitz.
Onto RAW!
The show kicks off with Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho celebrating the victory last night, but is short lived as Braun Strowman comes out, demanding a title match, showing footage of Owens promising Strowman a title match, should he retain.
Crowd chants “Thank You Strowman” obviously due to sabotaging the match and preventing Roman Reigns from winning. Does Vince and his creative team not realize Reigns is not the guy? His reaction at coming out to #30 should have been quite clear.
Mick Foley comes out in the greenest suit ever, it makes my eyes hurt. He grants the match. Crowd loses it.
Sami Zayn defeats Chris Jericho in a non-title match
Great match, and even greater, watching Zayn pull off a big win, cleanly, with his finishing Helluva Kick. I don’t think anyone saw that coming, and the reception for his victory is well-deserved. If Zayn and Jericho are embarking on a feud, all I have to say is, Yes Please!
Backstage: Cesaro and Sheamus argue about the Rumble match, until Bayley arrives to calm the duo down for their upcoming six-person tag match.
Backstage: Kevin Owens begs Stephanie to reverse Foley’s match-making decision.
Tony Nese defeats Mustafa Ali
Not a bad match, but could have been better. This feud is being pushed, but I feel the fans aren’t getting into it. Post-match, Nese attempts to show more personality. Austin Aries saves the segment.
In the ring: Stephanie McMahon calls out Seth Rollins, calling Rollins a coward and demands an apology from him. Rollins simply apologizes for exposing Triple H as the true coward. After Rollins antagonizes her, Stephanie reveals Triple H is on his way to the arena.
Shots fired!
Bayley, Cesaro, and Sheamus defeats Charlotte, Luke Gallows, and Karl Anderson
Pretty good match, Cesaro nearly kills himself with some sort of rope jump dive. Bayley gets the win via Bayley to Belly Suplex on Charlotte.
My guess is this Women’s Championship feud is definitely heading to WrestleMania, where it belongs.
Backstage: Stephanie yells at Mick Foley, who fires back with the sudden cue of Triple H’s theme music.
In the ring: Neville demands respect and is now officially the King of Cruiserweights. Rich Swann offers respect for the match, but Neville doesn’t accept. Carries this “I’m the King” bit too far, and Swann beats him up for it.
Okay, we get one more match out of this, and then the next contender is determined. Will Neville hold it for more than one pay-per-view?
Backstage: Bayley tries to talk Sasha Banks out of wrestling Nia Jax tonight. Banks gets pissed off and leaves.
Backstage: Kevin Owens is having a panic attack that his match with Strowman is happening.
Chris Jericho is at the announce table for our WWE Universal Championship match, with Kevin Owens in the ring. Braun Strowman comes out, but turns his attention to Jericho, chokeslamming him through the announce table, and Owens, in true comedic fashion is crapping himself. Braun beats up Owens, who does get some good offense, but as predicted, Roman Reigns interferes and causes the DQ finish. The crowd boos relentlessly.
Braun vs. Reigns is on the way. At least it keeps Reigns away from the title.
A limo pulls up, and Brock Lesnar with Paul Heyman arrive. Heyman starts his ballet of verbal eloquence in humble fashion, using the phrase “Yeah, But” to build his momentum to a point of, sure, Brock may have been eliminated, but go back to the accomplishments of others and realize they all collided with Lesnar. He brings up Kurt Angle and his feud with Brock, but the crowd doesn’t react, likely because they are too young or uninformed of their Suplex-fests. In the end, Heyman challenges Goldberg to a match at WrestleMania.
Hoo boy. Will it be WrestleMania XX all over again?
Nia Jax destroys Sasha Banks
Yep. Just a mauling. Not sure what the point of this was. Bell got rung midway through a submission, which I think was going to be the finish anyway, just happened earlier than expected, even the ref looked confused, but then called for the bell after the fact.
Post match, Jax inflicts more pain until Bayley saves the day… sort of.
Tornado Tag Match: Enzo and Cass defeat Rusev and Jinder Mahal
A brawl of a match, and the pre-match promos were pretty damn funny. Speaking of pretty, it is pretty obvious they want Lana to show off her assets more and more each show. I get her gimmick, she’s hot and shows it off to the crowd, but is there a limit? She voluntarily does the model 360 rotation. Just sayin’.
In any case, Enzo and Cass took this match cleanly. Does this mean the feud is over, or just another battle in their long-term war? Pros, it gives them all something to do, and Jinder Mahal probably wants it to go as long as possible. This is the most television time he has ever had. Cons, prevents anyone from moving onto a better feud.
Outside, a limo pulls up and Triple H is here.
Feud is triggered!
Triple H cuts a scathing promo about how Seth Rollins is nothing… OH SCREW IT
IT’S SAMOA JOE!!!!!! JOE! SAMOA JOE IS HERE!!!
Okay, Triple H goes on a tirade on Rollins, does some really funny faux crying, but then loses his mind, takes off the suit, already sweating like crazy, demands Rollins comes out. Rollins does and it blindsides and mutilated by Samoa Joe.
Now, THAT is how you close a show!
