Written by Matthew Widdis
The show opens with a recap of the Survivor Series match between Ronda Rousey and Charlotte Flair, focusing on the disqualification and the vicious kendo stick beating of the RAW women’s champion by an angry and unhinged Charlotte.
In-ring
Charlotte comes down to the ring as the crowd applauds her. SmackDown’s announcers go over Rousey and her immediate and defiant title defense on RAW. The crowd starts a “Thank you Charlotte!” chant. Her reply? “Yes, thank me.” Charlotte says that she put the baddest beating on the baddest woman on the planet and that she’s proud of it. She asks Ronda if she’s beat up, moving slowly this week? Is she looking for an apology? She won’t get it from Charlotte because she did it for the locker room. She did it for The Champ! Charlotte tells us that she’s fought against Becky Lynch. She fought with Becky. But, at Survivor Series, she fought for Becky. She made it her mission to beat the hell out of Ronda Rousey and proclaims, “Mission accomplished.”
GM Paige comes out and tells Charlotte that she doesn’t have to apologize for what she did to Ronda Rousey. She enjoyed but reminds Flair that Ronda will try to get revenge and, more importantly, that Charlotte attacked five WWE officials to do it. Charlotte says that she’ll stomp Ronda’s head in a zillion times and that nobody will get in the way. Paige reminds Charlotte that referees should stop her and that you don’t do that. Paige has no choice as GM but to fine her $100K!
As The Queen starts to protest, The IIconics music hits. Billie notices that Peyton is in a trance? Is she a female Frankenstein? No, she’s Charlotte Flair! They announce that they’re Paige’s favorites (obviously) and, as a result, they’ll take the $100K. Charlotte says one of them is getting the chance to be “the next Ronda Rousey.”
Charlotte vs Billie Kay
The ladies lock up and Charlotte gives a knee to the gut, walks Billie over to a turnbuckle and hits some chops. After a headlock takeover, Billie gets back to her feet. She tries to escape by getting in shots to Charlotte’s ribs but she gets elbowed down. Flair lands some knee drops across the Aussie’s ear. An attempted kick by Billie is caught and turned into a Figure Four attempt. Billie escapes to outside. Charlotte follows her out, gives hera shot to the jaw, and tosses her back in. Billie rolls back out and Peyton distracts Charlotte so that Billie can hit a big boot. Both women back in and Billie Kaye hits some ground and pound for a two count. Charlotte hits an O’Connor roll but gets kicked off into the middle turnbuckle. Billie is backed off by the ref and Peyton grabs the hair. After a boot to chest, Charlotte recovers enough to hit a Fallaway Slam and a kip up. She follows up with Natural Selection and the pinfall win.
Winner by pinfall: Charlotte Flair
Charlotte isn’t satisfied with one IIconic she invites Peyton. Billie tells her to do it but she’s reluctant. Charlotte is waiting. Peyton immediately bolts and claims she isn’t prepared. Flair waits in the ring on her knees with her hands behind her back.
Charlotte vs Peyton Royce
Charlotte immediately plows Peyton into the corner and repeatedly rams the shoulder into her guts until she gets the knees up the knock Charlotte down. She tries to whip Charlotte but it gets reversed. Charlotte sends her out of the ring and follows her out to batter her up against the barricade with chops. Billie offers the distraction this time and Peyton gets in a hair slam on the outside. Knee to the head and Peyton gets a two count once back in the ring. A slap and a knee to head only gets Peyton a 2 count. The Queen is crawling and Peyton starts kicking her in the chest and back. Cagey Charlotte dodges the last kick and hits a schoolgirl for two. Peyton takes Charlotte down with a clothesline for her own two count. (A priceless, dubious look from Billie is seen on the outside.) Peyton slows it down with a rear chin lock and starts moving Flair around ring by her hair. When Peyton gets backed off by the ref, it gives Billie the chance to snap Charlotte’s neck off the ropes by her hair. Royce goes for a boot but Charlotte catches it and spins her right round so she can hit one of her own. Charlotte picks her up for a bodyslam but Billie Kay rushes in for a shot to the back and a DQ for her partner.
Winner by disqualification: Charlotte Flair
The IIconics are beating on Charlotte as the crowd cheers for Becky in hopes that she’ll run in to make the save. The IIconics toss her out of the ring and try to retrieve a chair but Flair hits a spear on both at once! The Mad Queen uses Billie’s and then Peyton’s head to play the bongo drum on the announce table before headbanging both Aussies like it’s a Slayer concert. Billie is tossed into the barricade and eats a knee. Peyton goes into the steel ring steps. Billie is launched over the announce table and Peyton soon follows. Club Mix Zarathustra plays Charlotte off as she stands on top of the announce table, basking in her triumph.
Backstage
Rey says his eyes have seen everything but nothing like Randy Orton. He’s more dangerous now than he was ten years ago. But Rey didn’t come back to be another victim. Randy’s at his peak but so is he.
Video package recaps Daniel Bryan winning the WWE Championship from AJ Styles with a low blow last week on SmackDown.
Miz TV w/ SmackDown commissioner Shane McMahon
Miz is Awesome chants in LA. Miz says that it was an honor to fight alongside Shane McMahon at Survivor Series. The A-lister praises his grit and touts him as “The Best in the World.” Shane’s music hits and he’s a little slow to the ring as Miz has the WWE World Cup trophy on display. Miz tells the commissioner that his performance was transcendent and proclaims himself a “Shane stan.” Drawing upon Survivor Series, he refers to them as a collective “We”: We were the last two that fought to the bitter end. We took out Braun Strowman with an elbow drop, went coast-to-coast twice! Shane says that he remembers himself doing all of that (although he doesn’t remember much after being clotheslined out of the air by Braun Strowman.) Miz, reminds him that, being two-thirds of The Best in the World, he of course gave invaluable moral support. Miz is prodded to ask a question, as that’s how interviews work.
The A-lister has one and only one question: “Will you team up with me for tag matches?” He tells Shane that this could be something. Shane and Miz as Best Team in the World. He pumps Shane up by saying that, he saw a fighter, a survivor, and a champion in him. Despite the crowd chanting “Yes!,” Shane is unsure. When he cites Miz’s duties on Miz TV and as a singles competitor, Miz stops him to voice his disappointment. He tells Shane that, if he were as much of a man… as much of a McMahon, he’d team with Miz against… The Bryant Brothers? Two local LA jobbers make their way out to the ring.
Shane McMahon & The Miz vs The Bryant Brothers
Miz is out first and towers over “Dane Bryant.” He hits multiple knees to the midsection and a big boot right out the gate. Running kick to face of seated Dane and Miz’s patented short DDT. It’s looking like a cakewalk. Miz looks to tag in Shane. Shane is reluctant and they awkwardly talk it over for a bit. Miz agrees to continue for a while but, when he goes over to pick Dane [Editor’s Note: Dane Bryant is indie performer Eli Everfly]. from the mat, he gets small packaged for the 1-2-3!
Winners by pinfall: The Bryant Brothers
Miz begins pleading his case to Shane who is largely unconcerned and seems like he just wants to get back to the trainer’s table until next week.
We get a promo for Starrcade! This year it will be broadcast on the WWE network as a co-branded special event… with a one hour run time. It’s a start and it certainly looks like a good card. Mebbe nex year they’ll remind y’all that the first mumf is free for new thubscribers. You know, to give a break to the common man and those who might be going through some hard times.
Backstage
The New Day is walking around wearing pilgrim gear and Xavier Woods’ marked with a 6-1. And who should they run into but… The Gobbledy-Gooker?! They get curious as to what’s going and the head comes off the costume to reveal not Hector Guerrero but R-Truth!
In-ring
We see tables with turkeys, potatoes, gravy, and pies set up around the ring as The New Day comes down to address the arena. Apparently, there just aren’t enough the holiday themed street fights. Byron Saxton is excited for this and Corey laments.
Ya boys get the chant going for “Tur-key Day! Tur-key Day! Tur-key Day!” Big E say that, just like you people, (Yeah, I said you people) we like to give thanks. Kofi is thankful that they were a part of the “1” in 6-1 as SmackDown’s sole victory at Survivor Series was the tag team battle on the pre-show. That victory seemingly “didn’t count,” though. Xavier is thankful for his two terabyte hard drive. Big E, though, is thankful for big, full juicy succulent breasts… of turkey and begins licking a turkey in the ring. This brings The Bar out.
Sheamus is insulted by being put into a gimmick match as they’re the champs. New day lets him know that Paige’s instructions for SmackDown to “Step your game up,” was about The Bar. New Day actually won their match. The Bar defends themselves by saying that they couldn’t plan for spontaneous urination that occurred during the match but that they can kick New Day’s arse!
The New Day vs The Bar & The Big Show in a… Thanksgiving Feast Fight?
Xavier Woods going for a running shoulder block on Big Show and it goes exactly as expected, sending the PhD to the canvas. Show backs him into the hostile corner, rips his pilgrim shirt off, and slaps his chest with the big ol’ bear paw. Cesaro is tagged in to hit a quick European uppercut. Sheamus in to hit the Beats of Brodan, stooping short to stifle the crowd counting along and ends it with a headbutt. Cesaro back in with an elbow drop and a two count. He applies a chinlock and tags Sheamus back in. Overhead armlock to wear down Xavier. Xavier fights out but The Celtic Warrior drops him with a kick. Cesaro is back in with a running low dropkick. Xavier battles towards the new Day corner but Cesaro pushes him back and kicks Big E off the apron for good measure. Wheel barrow lift by Cesaro is countered by Woods who tucks under for a flipping facebuster thingy and makes the tag.
Kofi and Sheamus in and Kofi hits a flying chop off the top to bring the big Irishman down. Chops, a dropkick, and a flying clothesline help set up that Kofi Boom leg drop. Trouble in Paradise scouted and stuffed with a kick to the midsection but Kofi recovers to hit a cross body off the top. Cesaro breaks up the count and sends a rushing Xavier Woods out of the ring. Big E levels Cesaro in the ring and staggers Big Show on the apron before kicking the ropes and sending him into a feast table!
The carnage! The humanity! The gravy! Big E admires the scene but turns around right into a Brogue Kick. Sheamus grabs a turkey as a weapon. Dry ones work better according to Corey Graves. Swing and a miss on Kofi and Woods catches Sheamus with a kick. Kofi uppercuts Sheamus out the ring and a turkey alley-oop from Xavier comes crashing onto Sheamus, sending him through another table. Big E is tagged in and wears a turkey like a boxing glove. He levels Sheamus with a running punch. 1-2-3!
Winners by pinfall: The New Day
Cesaro tries to attack after the match but walks into a Buster Keaton level food fight. New Day themselves were slipping and sliding on their way out to the back as the ring crew will earn their money tonight.
Backstage
A Rey Mysterio mask is on display. Randy picks it up and contemplates it a la Hamlet. He says that some people think that the mask represents culture and is to be honored and respected but, to him, it represents nothing. It doesn’t deserve respect and neither does Rey. When Rey came back, the fans were full of excitement. When they see what he does to Mysterio, it will be shock disgust, and horror.
We get a quick video to recap Mandy Rose eliminating Sonya Deville at Evolution’s Battle Royal.
Asuka & Naomi vs Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose
During the entrances, Tom Phillips and Byron Saxton bring up the friction between Mandy and Sonya as of late, including the Evolution Battle Royal and Mandy’s public protest of Sonya being chosen over her for team SmackDown at Survivor Series. They say that Naomi and Asuka don’t have those problems. Corey shifts the conversation as to Naomi’s ring jacket and that she appeared to have had to skin a Grinch to make it.
Mandy and Naomi in the ring to start. Mandy gets a headlock but is shot into the ropes and gets hurricanrana’d. Sonya is tagged in to immediately eat a dropkick. Asuka comes in without being tagged for a double booty bump to their opponents on the apron. Naomi sends Mandy back in and avoids a forearm shot with a sunset flip. Mandy kicks out and is bounced off the ropes but Sonya’s blind tag lets her spear Naomi for a two count. Sonya batters Naomi with knees from the clinic.
A snapmare puts The Glow on her keister and Sonya follows up with a sliding knee to the chest. Mandy is tagged and they hit repeated stereo kicks in the corner. Sonya tags back and they ping pong Naomi with punches until Sonya hits another snapmare and slides up from behind for a body scissors. Sonya rolls her back and forth, working for a rear choke but Naomi gets up to her feet. Naomi backs her into the corner but Mandy makes the tag. Naomi tries a cross body block on Sonya but The Jersey Jawbreaker catches her in mid-air and holds her for Mandy Rose to land a running boot to the back of the head. Only a two count!
A frustrated Mandy drags Naomi away from Asuka and into her corner to hit kicks and punches until she tags in Sonya. Naomi makes a break for her own corner but Sonya holds on and attempts a belly-to-back suplex. Naomi lands on her feet and hits an enziguri. Asuka and Mandy both reaching out from their corners and both are tagged in. Double chops to Mandy Rose and they play pinball on the ropes until Sonya is knocked off the apron. Mandy is looking to tag but nobody’s home.
Asuka hits a high kick to the chin, a German suplex, and a Shining Wizard but Mandy kicks out at 2. Asuka rushes Mandy in the corner but she gets the knee in the face for it. Mandy bounces off the rope and Sonya tags herself in. A miscue almost sees Sonya get a mouthful of Mandy’s knee. Asuka interrupts to try and head kick Mandy Rose but Sonya, the legal woman, pulls her partner out of the way and eats the kick herself! Naomi takes Mandy out with a flying butt bump. Sonya literally runs right into an Asuka Lock and it’s all over. Corey blames Sonya but the real life besties walk off together.
Winners by submission: Asuka & Naomi
We get a video recap of Rey and Randy’s rivalry rekindled over the past weeks: Rey shocks Randy during World Cup tourney but Randy brutalizes him after and later RKOs him after a match with Cien Almas.
We get an old-fashioned vignette to let us know that Lars Sullivan is coming up to possibly be the monster of SmackDown.
In-ring
Daniel Bryan says that he doesn’t expect these people to understand that this explanation isn’t for them; it’s for you. Third person narrative continues throughout as he explains that Daniel Bryan committed a terrible act of betrayal but that act was not last Tuesday’s crotchshot to AJ Styles.
It was three years ago when he retired and gave up on his dreams. But the difference between him and the fans is that he does not accept failure. He learned from his mistakes and fought back. He spent three hours… everyday… in a hyperbaric chamber. It helped heal him but it did more. It helped him focus his mantra of “Fight for your dreams and your dreams will fight for you.” And it worked! But the people just saw the moment. They didn’t see the family, friends, doctors and therapists telling him to move on. He wouldn’t but the fans moved on… to chant for AJ Styles. Fickle. Fickle. Fickle.
Daniel Bryan’s dreams took over. They did what they were programmed to do in that hyperbaric chamber and they kicked AJ in the balls. The old Daniel Bryan is dead. The Yes Movement is dead. And all that’s left is you… The new Daniel Bryan. The WWE Champion!
Daniel stops on his way out to accost the ring announcer to refer to him as The WWE Champion, The New Daniel Bryan.
Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio
Rey hits an easy duck under for a waistlock but Orton knocks him off with a back elbow. Rey is off the ropes and Randy ducks to hit a back drop but Rey gives him a kick to the chest that stands him up. A second kick is caught but Rey turns it into an enziguri. Randy is draped across the second rope and that means it’s time for a 6… 1… connection lost as Randy slips outside the ring and congratulates himself but Rey follows him out and hits a seated senton from the apron.
Randy is back in the ring and Rey gives the LA crowd a shout out as he ascends the turnbuckles for a moonsault. Randy catches him from behind and starts to work on removing the mask! Rey hits back elbows to get Randy away from the mask but Randy slams him backwards into the tree of woe.
Back from commercial break, Rey is battling back against randy with body blows but gets derailed by a clothesline. A lax cover gets a two count. Randy plants Rey on the top rope again and begins to actually rip the mask open. Rey fights him off again but a dropkick is batted away and Rey is prey. Too soon to get comfortable as Rey drops him with kicks to the belly and face.
Rey starts to pick up the pace: springboard for another seated senton, ducks a clothesline, turns a wheelbarrow into a bulldog, and springboards a legdrop. 1-2-kickout. Dropkick puts Randy on the second rope again and this time Randy catches it outright. He looks for the draping DDT but Rey hits a shoulder to the gut, a kick to the face, and a hurricanrana onto the opposite middle rope. 619 connects but randy takes a powder to the outside. Rey with a baseball slide kick to put Randy down. Rey goes for the slip-n-slide splash but randy hits a RKO on him! Randy brings him back into the ring and teases an unmasking but hits another RKO for the win.
Winner by pinfall: Randy Orton
After the match, Randy retrieves a steel chair, and places it around the neck of Mysterio before driving him into the steel ringpost. As Rey hits the ground, his tattered mask falls off as the crowd gasps. Randy holds it high above his head. EMTs rush down to treat the king of Lucha (and to cover his face for the benefit of those who haven’t watched the Filthy Animals period of WCW Nitro on WWE Network for $9.99.)
Final Thoughts: The (arguably) best wrestler in the world and the hottest rocket in the industry were the top of the SmackDown brand. This week, they were only mentioned. The sole survivors of Smackdown’s only win on Sunday were also absent. One of the most popular talents of all time (and certainly the last decade) gave a heel promo that was bordering on “ low-level Batman villain” and the workhorse heel of the decade was pinned in around a minute by a ham-and-egger while making like a fanboy to Shane McMahon. Put that way, it sounds like a disaster but it wasn’t. That’s how good the top of WWE SmackDown is and that’s how deep the roster runs.
Tonight we saw that they’re full steam ahead on bitter Daniel Bryan and psycho Charlotte Flair. We also see that creative is likely to build towards a program with Miz and Shane and feuds with Rey/Randy and AJ/D-Bry going forward, possibly all the way to WrestleMania. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville seem to be getting the nudge towards B-tier and the speculated women’s tag division could certainly be a factor in that. And, finally, in a night that paradoxically seemed light on wrestling despite six matches we got two future hall of Famers in the main event holding a master class of everything from how a smaller guy is supposed to pace a match against a large opponent and that body language is a key component to ring psychology to turning “accidents” into opportunity and that “old-fashioned” is “classic” if you don’t allow it to get stale.
Comments are closed.