Written by Matthew Widdis
The WWE Champion, The New Daniel Bryan, comes down to the ring wearing the belt and his ring gear. He apologizes for calling the audience sheep last week. He apologizes to the sheep, which are not to be compared to the likes of parasites like us. That’s why we liked the old Daniel Bryan, we lived through his successes. Then we moved on to crashing on the couch in the house that AJ Styles built. But he’s the champ now, not AJ. He goes on to insult the audience and Las Vegas when Mustafa Ali’s music hits.
Mustafa starts to introduce himself when Daniel stops him. He says that he knows who Mustafa is, even though the audience may not. (He’s mostly right.) He praises Mustafa Ali as the heart of 205 Live and an incredible performer. (Right again.) He says that, despite popping for him, the mindless, xenophobic, and so very fickle fans don’t deserve to see him tonight. Mustafa responds by telling Daniel about how he inspired him and the rest of 205 Live as the undersized underdog who was always ready to fight. And that’s why he wants his fight tonight.
Daniel asks Mustafa what type of car he drives. Mustafa Ali drives an SUV and Daniel questions why a small man needed to do so. As Mustafa is citing his family, Daniel slaps him for his ignorance. The follow up punch is blocked and they start to go until Daniel gets hurricanrana’d out to the apron and dropkicked off. A flipping senton from the ring post to the floor and Mustafa Ali has advantage as their match is about to start.
WWE Champion Daniel Bryan vs Mustafa Ali
Back from commercial, Mustafa Ali goes flipping ass-over-teakettle from a Daniel Bryan knee-to-the-gut. Daniel combines insult with injury by taunting him in-between headbutts and stomps. Into the corner and kicks to the chest. Mustafa is whipped into the other corner. He kicks himself up and over a Daniel Bryan that isn’t there and gets kicked in the belly for it. Daniel keeps him grounded with kicks, kneedrops and by pulling on his upper jaw. Bryan going to work again on the left leg and more wear down holds. The “Yes” kicks get much less reaction from the crowd each week and Mustafa Ali manages to duck the last one, and putting his own educated feet to work. Daniel has to roll out of the ring to collect himself.
Baseball slide connects but the follow-up plancha is ducked. Daniel runs Mustafa into the ringpost face-first and he gets torqued like John Elway diving in the Superbowl. Daniel ascends the turnbuckles to bask in his glory and then walks by Mustafa’s prone form to gloat. Mustafa just barely gets back in time to beat the count. Daniel hits a snap butterfly suplex and goes up top. Mustafa stalls him and climbs up to hit a Spanish Fly/Flux Capacitor from the top! It still only gets a two count. Mustafa pulls him towards another corner, looking for the imploding 450.
This time, it’s Daniel who blocks and he sends Mustafa over the ropes and out to the floor. Back inside the ring, Daniel slaps on The Yes Lock but Ali inches his way towards the ropes and manages to get the break. It’s a short-lived breather, however, as he gets tied up in the tree of woe next. Kicks to the chest, followed by a running dropkick on Mustafa. Daniel plants him on the top rope and hits a belly-to-back superplex from the tippy-top rope… but Mustafa backflips out of it and to his feet!
Daniel collects himself fast enough to charge the corner with a dropkick but Mustafa is fast enough to not be there. Daniel takes multiple overhand chops but cuts them off with a kick to the gut. Mustafa reverses and Irish whip into the corner. Daniel backflips over Mustafa but Mustafa hits a reverse cross body that he turns into a Tornado DDT. The inverted 450 misses the mark when Daniel rolls out of the ring. He’s in perfect position and he grabs the leg of the stunned Mustafa Ali and begins to beat it against the post. A chop block brings Ali down and a heel hook taps him out.
Winner by submission: The New Daniel Bryan
After the match, Mustafa is hobbling back up the ramp and Daniel goes after him from behind, locking in the heel hook a second time until broken off by the officials.
SmackDown Rap Battle 2: Electric Boogaloo
The New Day come down to the ring to serve as judges for The Bar vs The Usos Rap Battle. They remind us that all three teams will be in a match at TLC. Kofi and Xavier are dressed like Harry and Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber, The Bar is dressed like Reverend Run and Jam Master Jay of Run DMC, and The Usos are dressed like The Usos from SmackDown Live.
The Bar makes the most of the inevitable cringe-fest by giving Vanilla Ice the remix. The Usos start slow but do a more capable job in their diss track by managing to segue Xavier’s love of TMNT into Seamus’ role as Rocksteady, clown Cesaro for his infamous ringpost bite, and bringing back the “You look stupid” chant. The Bar rushes The Usos and get sent out of the ring. Usos and New Day square up but The Bar comes back in and cleans house.
Backstage
Asuka says that she made one mistake at Wrestlemania: She stopped kicking Charlotte Flair.
In Ring:
The Miz is holding the WWE World Cup. He tells Shane that he knows that it’s Shane’s week to have custody of the “Best in the World trophy” but he won’t give it up until Shane comes out to hear what he has to say. He even bends the knee to beg. Here comes the money (and a little vocabulary play between Tom Phillips and Corey Graves.)
Shane wants to know if Miz is okay. Miz says that they could be so good together if Shane only gave them a chance. Since Shane owes Miz one for last week (but not really) he thinks Shane should agree to another tag match. Shane thinks that it’s getting weird with the trophy but Miz says that it’s not about the trophy; it’s about their shared accomplishment. Miz calls for a referee and The Vegas Boys, Chip and Chad. We’ve got a match!
The Miz & Shane McMahon vs Chip & Chad Vegas
The Vegas Boys jump Shane from behind but he fights back, backing Chip? Chad? It doesn’t matter. He sends the tall white one into the corner with combinations and hits a Rock ’99 float over DDT. Shane locks on a triangle hold and the modern day dream team wins with 66.6% of The Best in the World never stepping foot in the ring.
Winners by submission: The Miz & Shane McMahon
Backstage
GM Paige is giving the last match’s referee the business for officiating without her authorizing it. After he explains that Miz told him it was sanctioned, The Vegas Boys show up with invoices expecting the $5000 that Miz promised them would be paid by Paige.
In Ring
Randy Orton comes down to the ring with the announcers confirm that he and Rey Mysterio will be in a Chair-ly Legal match at TLC. Randy hefts a chair to get the feel of it and has them roll tape of him driving one into Rey’s throat three weeks ago and again the next week. He questions whether Rey understands that he’s in a chair match. Does he think that he’ll get revenge? “Once a victim; always a victim.” Rey sneaks in from behind and batters Randy with a chair until The Viper slithers off to the back.
Backstage
Chin out and strutting, The Man is in the building. Kayla asks if she thinks that she has an advantage going into TLC since her opponents are fighting tonight. She has to road test her face and head in a TLC match against, not one, but two of the best women in the world, so no. But she relishes it because she gets to buck the odds once again.
Fun Fact: Naomi used to be hip-hop dancer and an Orlando Magic cheerleader.
Jeff Hardy & Rusev (w/ Lana) vs Samoa Joe & US Champion Shinsuke Nakamura
The match starts with… R-Truth and Carmella? Dance break!
Nakamura (wearing what appears to be a tribute to The Honky Tonk Man) uses the distraction to kick Jeff Hardy in the back of the head and commences to drop knees into his ribs. Samoa Joe is tagged in and immediately gets backed down and out of the ring by right hands. He pulls Jeff out by his ankles, though, and sends him into the barricade. Once in the ring, Nakamura is in and give Jeff some Good Vibrations before a snapmare and a jumping knee drop. Frequent tags by the heels as Samoa Joe comes back in the prevent Jeff’s diving tag attempt.
Clubbing elbows to a seated Jeff and Joe is twisting his head like a bottle cap. Jeff elbows his way out but takes one of Joe’s elbows when he charges off the ropes. After a two count, Joe backs Jeff into the corner with combination punches before hitting a body attack and an enziguri. Nakamura is back in and starts to hit knee strikes from the clinch. Jeff is draped across the opponents’ corner and Nak hits the running knee to Jeff’s belly. Jeff kicks out at two and Joe get tagged in the start stretching him.
Jeff fights out and gets to a neutral corner. Joe charges but eats an elbow and Jeff hits the Whisper in the Wind. Shinsuke gets tagged but so does Rusev! Monstrous clothesline by Rusev has Nakamura ragdolling through the air. Right hands, body avalanche, knee strikes, and a fallaway slam: Rusev is on fire. He starts to motion for The Accolade but Nakamura fights back with rear elbows. Rusev with a suplex attempt but Nak lands on his feet. The US champion misses two kicks but the Rusev Roundhouse connects. Samoa Joe breaks up the count but gets a Twist of Fate from Matt’s little brother and a diving clothesline on the outside.
Rusev almost gets The Accolade but Nakamura hits a combo of strikes. He sets up for the Kinshasa but runs right into a jumping Machka kick. 1-2-3!
Winners by pinfall: Jeff Hardy & Rusev
Backstage
Shane barks out to Miz. He wants to know what’s going on with the trophy. He tears into the A-Lister for hiring wrestlers to attack him and tricking referees. Miz says that he did it because he knew that Shane’s instincts would come through. Miz says that, despite all of his accomplishments, he’s never been seen as (2/3 of the) Best in the World… until now. He holds his hand out to Shane, who takes the trophy and walks away to the crowd’s disappointment.
New Lars Sullivan vignette promises a big impact.
Backstage
We see a recap of AJ Styles losing the WWE Championship to Daniel Bryan and the aftermath. AJ Styles says that “the new” Daniel Bryan has actually been “the real” Daniel Bryan all along and that he is ready to take his title back.
Charlotte Flair says that she knows what’s at stake on Sunday and that’s why she’s going to give Asuka and Becky a preview tonight.
Asuka vs Charlotte Flair
The music hits and The Man comes around to sit at ringside.
Charlotte opens with the big boot but it’s side-stepped by Asuka and she goes against the ropes. Flying butt bump is caught by Charlotte but Asuka rolls down to the leg and catches Charlotte in a knee bar. The nearly-six-foot Charlotte grabs a waistlock an heaves Asuka up and into a belly-to-back suplex. Flair chops but, on the third “Wooo!” Asuka ducks and hits a fast German suplex. Second attempt at the flying booty and Charlotte dodges it. Asuka catches herself on the ropes and Charlotte catches her with a boot to the mouth.
Charlotte’s taking a long time to get to the top rope for a moonsault. Asuka gets the knees up and rolls her into an Asuka Lock! Charlotte is close to the ropes but opts to stand and slam Asuka down backwards with all of her bodyweight. She takes one breath too many, though, and Asuka goes to the choke her out again. This time, Charlotte gets to the ropes to break the hold.
Both women are trading punches from their knees and still more after they’re back up to their feet. Charlotte ducks a swing but gets caught in an octopus hold. Charlotte dumps Asuka to the mat but Asuka holds on and turns it into a two count. After the kickout, Asuka holds on and keeps Charlotte in a Fujiwara armbar. Charlotte rolls through but Asuka goes for a triangle. She has to be carefull as Charlotte is getting one and two counts from this position… until she goes all Matt Hughes by lifting her from the ground into a power bomb. One. Two. Kickout.
Charlotte is angry and chastises Asuka that she will never beat The Queen before slapping her. Asuka answers with a double leg, jackknifed into a pin, but Charlotte rolls through and slaps on the Figure Four. She mirrors her dad by slapping Asuka and demanding that she tap but The Empress channels Dusty and fights through it.
Charlotte drags Asuka to the middle of the ring and pretzels her left leg, striking backwards with elbows to stave off another Asuka Lock. Charlotte changes position a time or two, eventually getting frustrated and raining forearms down on Asuka in ground and pound. Another two count.
Just like Daniel Bryan of late, Charlotte wraps Asuka’s leg around the ringpost. A two count and Charlotte sets up for the Figure four but Asuka rolls her into an inside cradle for two. Chest chops for Asuka again. She catches one and hits a fireman’s carry and a kick to the back. Both women off the ropes and Asuka turns Charlotte’s spear into a Codebreaker! Another near fall.
Charlotte manages to block one kick of Asuka’s many before getting a hurricane of elbows. A few shin kicks to toy with Charlotte and Asuka hits the ropes. This time, the spear connects, though, and that may have cost Asuka the match. No! Kick out at two-and-a-half.
Charlotte going for another moonsault. Asuka gets the knees up again but Charlotte lands on her feet and goes for the Figure Four. Asuka with another inside cradle. Charlotte rolls out of it and right into another Asuka Lock! By the time she get it cinched in, Charlotte is on her feet and both are dumped outside and directly in front of Becky. Charlotte reaches under the ring and comes up with a kendo stick! Repeated strikes to a prone Asuka get a DQ and an exhausted Charlotte throwing herself against the announce table almost gets Tom Phillips a taste of bamboo.
Winner by disqualification: Asuka
Becky is on her feet and taunting Charlotte’s breakdown before walking away. Charlotte gets her feet back and cracks Becky across the legs with the kendo stick before going back to Asuka. Big mistake. The Man turns her back around for a high kick and a toss into the steel ring steps. The Lass-kicker takes The Queen to Lynchburg with repeated shots from the kendo stick but turns around into a spinning back kick from Asuka. The Empress tosses the champion over the announce table and goes to work on Charlotte with the kendo stick. Back and forth, she cracks the stick to splinters on Charlotte and Becky.
Final thoughts: See this? This is how it’s done. In a two hour show, we got comedy, drama, great in-ring action, and relevancy to the upcoming PPV. The only thing I have any concern about is Miz/Shane/trophy and that’s only because I feel it needs to carry out until Wrestlemania. It was great seeing Daniel Bryan give the rub Mustafa Ali who got a very good reaction from the crowd.
And how about Daniel Bryan dusting off his heel chops and being a straight up heel like we haven’t seen since Ring of Honor? No (No! No!) comedy in this heel D-Bry. Rusev gets the clean win, giving hope to his fans for Sunday. Rey and Randy remind us that legends still walk amongst the roster. And Asuka vs Charlotte with 30 minutes to work with? I would put that up against any match in the world. Omega vs AJ. Okada vs Pentagon. Fallah Bahh vs Mascarita Sagrada. These two ladies have the potential to outshine anyone on any night… and that’s even without The Man coming ‘round.
