RAW kicks off with the Dean Ambrose show! He arrives in a taxi, and forgets the WWE Championship belt in the backseat. Fantastic. Retrieving it, we go to the ring where the Lunatic Champion thanks the crowd and cuts a nice promo. Since we have “The Guy” maybe he should be called “The Dude.” Let’s talk to Lebowski about that.
He is interrupted by Roman Reigns who congratulates Ambrose, trying to be buddy-buddy, until Ambrose lets him know “I would have cashed in on you too.” Reigns is booed from the start. I had to turn the volume down. “The Guy” is hated. The crowd then goes nuts when Seth Rollins hits the ring, and both demand title shots while Ambrose is goofing off in the background.
Shane McMahon comes out and gives us the main event, Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns for the #1 contender’s spot. Michael Cole says, “this is a WrestleMania-worthy match.” Uh, is his memory that crappy, forgetting we JUST saw it last night.
Our first match is another awesome bout between Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. Shorter than the usual, but a fantastic finish with a post-match brawl. Fight Forever chants. Yep.
Oh my Primus. John Laurinitis is out to campaign for position of General Manager. Oy. Shane drags him away.
At this point Enzo and Cass come out have a little dance-off with Shane. Nice. Enzo and Cass are awesome. Love it. They defeat the Vaudevillians in a great match. Keep it going guys, you’ll be champs one day.
Long segment, AJ Styles and The Club perform a faux apology for ruining the “once in a lifetime match” last night. John Cena and Styles trade verbal jabs, which then turns into a singles match with Karl Anderson, who is squashed by Cena, until Styles and Gallows return to beat down the poster boy. Odd segment, but the point is obvious, feud continues. I don’t mind the feud continuing, but not a fan of awkward segments.
Backstage: Seth Rollins promises a quick victory.
Backstage: Zack Ryder gears up. Wonder who he jobs to tonight?
Backstage: Becky Lynch doesn’t understand why all the women are losing their minds. Natalya beats her up some more. Sigh…
Bacon Rorbin defeats Zack Ryder is a slow, plodding match Ryder looks like Dean Malenko compared to Corbin. The announce team try very hard to push Corbin. Fail.
Video package for the WYATT FAMILY! Yay!
Backstage some more with Renee Young and Paige. Interrupted by Charlotte and Dana Brooke. Please, someone glue her inflated lips shut? Brooke needs to go away. She’s horrible.
Charlotte defeats Paige, after Paige owns the Women’s Champion the entire match, but Dana “greener than Kermit” Brooke interferes, allowing Charlotte to win.
Post-match, Sasha Banks arrives to face off with Charlotte. That is a match I want to see.
Backstage yet again, Roman Reigns stares into the camera. He starts talking, I lose interest.
The Wyatt Family comes out and the crowd loses it. “Welcome back” chants are loud. Bray eats it up. He is the eater of worlds after all. Like Unicron. Their promo is interrupted by the New Day. Yes, This Is Awesome. New Day starts to make fun of the Wyatts, until Xavier appears hypnotized and forgets his cue on the catchphrase. Bray then chants “New… Day Falls. New… Day Falls…” This is going to get interesting.
Lana brings out Rusev. Titus O’Neal brings out a fight and beats the unholy crap out of Rusev. This was good for the feud. Perhaps O’Neal may still yet claim a singles championship.
Backstage (seriously?) with Shane McMahon and Chris Jericho, where Y2J calls Shane a “stupid idiot” and clearly shows his hatred for the McMahon in charge, complaining it was Shane’s fault Ambrose even had a chance to be Champion in the first place. Shane tells Jericho if he’s called a “stupid idiot” again, the 69 tacks will be a walk in the park. Ouch.
Another stupid segment on Facebook with The Miz. Sigh.
Dean Ambrose is out on commentary, sitting next to JBL. It’s funny because JBL is repulsed. Decent match, obviously not like last night. Mostly a brawl. A brawl which concludes with a double-countout. Yep. So what happens? Shane comes out to decide a #1 contender, but Dean Ambrose decides to fight them both. So, at BattleGround, we get the Shield Triple Threat we wanted for the WWE Championship. At least we close the show with Dean Ambrose planting both Rollins and Reigns with Dirty Deeds.
This isn’t smart. There should be more build and take place at SummerSlam. Bummer.
