I’m a little late, and a dollar short, but I’m still bringing the Monday Night RAW 8/3 recap. [Editor’s Note: Tropical Storm Isaias caused a lot of delays yesterday due to power outages.]
This will roll out a bit different, as usual, I’ve got a lot to say. I try to find the silver lining in any wrestling show, even when it’s bad. RAW 8/3 was one of the most disjointed, rushed, over-crowded, blatant displays of idea loss I have ever seen. Even the good segments weren’t that great.
Take Noah, the dude who built the Ark. Was he a great man? Maybe. But the ol’ scriptures state he was the best of a world filled with lowlifes and jerks. If he lived during the time of Abraham or Isaac, he would have been some run-of-the-mill dude who no one would have noticed.
The “Raw Underground”
Nope. Nope. Nope. No sir, I don’t like it. I’m sure the goal was to be different, but this Fight Club-like scene played out more like some dingy romper room for bored grown men to pretend they are tough. The awful music and the shaky/quick change-cam, which never worked in Michael Bay films, does not work here either. The debut of Babatunde from NXT as “Dabba-Kato” is the stupidest name change I’ve heard of.
Viking Raiders showing up to beat up more poor saps. Then Dolph Ziggler gets dirty as well.
The only redeeming quality of this poor man’s strip club which looked more like an awful relapse of the ill-conceived Brawl-for-All (but scripted this time) and the short-lived Wrestling Society X is the use of how the Hurt Business stable of MVP, Bobby Lashley, and Shelton Benjamin used it as an exclamation point of being a current fixture on RAW.
Onto the rest of what had the potential to be a decent show.
The show kicks off with technical difficulties which plague the rest of the broadcast. This is revealed later on as seeing a stable known as Retribution pipe-bomb some generator outside the arena. For consistency sake people, this should have started the show! No one noticed a few firebombs??
Apollo Crews defeated MVP to reign as Undisputed United States Champion. This was a pretty decent match, save for the horrible “technical difficulties.” Even in defeat, MVP looked pretty good against the younger Crews. If there was a live crowd, Crews would have been cheered tremendously. This is the push about a year overdue. My biggest problem is the broadcast team shoving the tech issues as a reason for MVP losing, which is then brought even further with MVP’s post-match tirade.
Backstage, we’re getting set up for a possible team-up of Asuka and Shayna Baszler against Bayley and Banks.
We get the Kevin Owens show featuring Ruby Riott and Liv Morgan. What should have been a promo about returns and character shifts, turned the spotlight to the annoying IIconics. Thankfully, they get thrashed in an impromptu tag team match, which teases a reforming of Riott and Morgan. This went better than I hoped.
Randy Orton and Drew McIntyre come face-to-face. This was another segment which I did not have high hopes for, and was more than surprised. Orton cut a drilling promo about Drew deserving his firing and how he’s a mid-carder with a title he shouldn’t have ever been allowed to challenge for. Orton takes the personal attacks to harsh levels, with McIntyre coming back with some solid verbal strikes of his own, wondering when the last time Orton really decided to take his work seriously.
Well done. I hope the wrestling match is as good as this promo.
Of course, a few good segments leaves the rest of the show in the toilet. Nia Jax is going to have a program with… Pat Buck. You know, a backstage producer guy. As a result of her actions, she is suspended indefinitely.
This segment was… stupid.
Akira Tozawa defeated Shelton Benajmin and R-Truth for the 24/7 Championship. I have said this with every Raw review I have done in recent months … this “championship” has jumped the shark. The horse, beaten. It’s over, done, finished!!! Tozawa and the ninjas, give it a rest already. Benjamin was the only guy I could take this seriously, and it’s over. Please, stop this already.
Sasha Banks vs. Shayna Baszler went to a DQ… or a No Contest… Oh who cares!?
This one didn’t go long. As the match heated up Asuka and Bayley brawled at ringside, drawing the DQ. But, Bayley wasn’t in the match, and Asuka didn’t interfere. So this was weird booking. I know we’re all watching from home, but 90% of wrestling fans know the rules.
This is another lazy finish for hyping up title bouts. Come on.
RAW Underground inserted itself at this point. Because, you know, when you’ve hit rock bottom, how much lower can you go?
Oh, I think Triple H just tossed me a shovel.
After the headache of listening to that noise, I opt to smash my face on the table as I watch Montez Ford pass out during a match. Portrayed as a “scary moment” and Ford’s acting led me to believe for a moment something just went down, they blow it by him getting back up for his match, and passing out again. Backstage confrontation shows Bianca Bellair accusing Selina Vega of some tomfoolery.
Chalk a win for Garza and Andrade in the their respective singles matches.
Horrible.
A glimmer of hope emerges as Seth Rollins addresses what’s left of the WWE Universe, and threatens Tom Phillips. Oh boy, this takes a turn as Samoa Joe is ready to beat the hell out of Rollins but don’t get too excited for Muscle Busters yet, Dominick arrives to avenge the loss of his father’s eyeball *snicker* and unloads on both Rollins and Buddy Murphy with a kendo stick. We will see Dom take on Rollins at Summerslam. This is the big payoff we have been waiting for.
I really thought Joe was going to come back and murder Rollins. Oh well.
The closing segment with The Hurt Business mauling everyone on Raw Underground and Shane McMahon allowing them to do so is a little intriguing, if this whole fiasco wasn’t played out like a bad C-rate movie. Dare I say, they take a page out from Lucha Underground to have a type of mafia calling the shots.
In any event, If WWE’s top-notch writers are taking the “Hey! Let’s recreate some attitude-era shenanigans!” route… Go back to the drawing board… SMASHING YOUR HEADS INTO IT!!!
