The writers are back to work as the 2023 WGA strike has ended, but the scab material that has been airing on three soaps since July will continue for at least a few more months. Scabs are a necessary evil for soap operas as they are a five-day-a-week venture, and stopping work would be disastrous. In this column, I’m going to assess the quality of the scab material.
Co-head writer Michael Minnis and associate head writer Mark Pinciotti went fi-core at the start of the WGA strike and have been writing the show for months now. Normally during a strike, fans expect shifts in the writing direction if the main creative voice is at home watching Steel Magnolias for the 38th time. In the case of B&B, Brad Bell is executive producer and also owner of the show so he wasn’t watching Clairee encourage M’Lynn to hit Ouiser. He was on set producing and approving every script and outline. So, as a writer, Brad was technically on strike, but as an executive producer, he got to oversee the show.
There has been debate about showrunning during this WGA strike. There were studios insisting showrunners return to sets and production offices to continue producing. Detractors called that scabbing because it is all writing. From choosing which take to use to cutting lines, it is easy to see why that is still part of the creative process and should be considered writing. There are soap producers that are hands off and concentrate on budgets, sets and casting, but Brad Bell is not that type of soap producer. He has been deeply involved with B&B since 1993. It strains credulity to imagine he didn’t have any opinions on the work Michael, Mark and presumably some unnamed scabs were doing on the long story, outlines and scripts.
Same Script, Same Cast
Having over a week of people yelling at Finn in his own home over Sheila is excessive even by B&B standards. Finn did not choose to come out of Sheila’s cooter 36 years ago. You know which people actually chose to have Sheila walking around? Bill and Ridge when they had an airtight case against her dropped so they could feel like big damn heroes by getting more serious charges against her. No one has this energy for them because that would make sense and we can’t have that. It is clearly Finn’s fault that he’s so dreamy that Taylor Dayne’s “Love Will Lead You Back” plays in Sheila’s head whenever she looks at him!
I do think the overly repetitive conversations are a consequence of the strike. They have less people writing, so from that perspective it makes sense to hit the same beats over and over again. How many times have we seen Liam talking to Wyatt during the scab period, having the same conversation that amounts to this?
Wyatt: “Hey Liam, you want to fuck Steffy again, don’t you? You want to steal her from Finn!”
Liam: “This is about Steffy and the kids being safe! This isn’t about my four inch boner. I’m a good guy with a dead mommy. Golly, if Steffy lost her mind and took me back, I’d never take her for granted again. Losing Steffy was the biggest mistake of my life. Not the mannequin cheating incident or all the times I emotionally abused Hope and Steffy.”
Wyatt: “Yeah, you have a dead mother so that trumps all of Finn’s positive attributes and Steffy’s love for him. She should totally settle for you.”
Hopefully with the normal writing staff returning to work, B&B can return to the normal amount of repetitiveness. The bar is in hell for me to just want to hear slightly less of the same conversation, but that’s where we are at. I’m not thrilled about it either.
B & C? Sorry, We Only Have A Stories Here, Sir
B&B having a lack of B and C stories is another thing that’s been happening during the scab era. It isn’t a new problem, but it went into hyperdrive the last few months. The A story would dominate for a few weeks and then it would be on to the next A story. Episodes with actual B and C stories were like treats doled out occasionally. And I say actual because a lot of the time this show’s version of a B or C story is other characters talking about the A story. Just a lot of “Character A belongs with Character B and anyone who disagrees is a dumb bitch.”
Sheila The Romantic Heroine?!
I have seen literally no one excited to see Sheila in a romance. No one is getting horned up watching Sheila call Deacon daddy. Who is this for? Is it just Brad Bell? Because I don’t think anyone on B&B is delusional enough to think that fans are enjoying this. This whole shit show is a mockery of the Sheila Carter that Bill Bell created.
Age Appropriate Parent Trapping
Finally B&B realized a Parent Trap story only works if the character is still in elementary school. It was cute to see Douglas serving Thomas and Hope pizza and fries after tricking them to come over. It was less cute last year when Thomas was calling CPS on himself to break up Brooke and Ridge and when Steffy was preparing the room for Ridge and Taylor to boink. A 35-year-old obsessed with their parents fucking is perverted.
Douglas doesn’t know that Thomas and Hope have been getting it in while Hope lets Thomas know she isn’t in love with him. I’m actually glad Hope isn’t in love yet. There’s a lot of baggage and toxic history between the two of them. It should be a process to get to full-on love. Orgasms at work are a good start though.
Chris And Dan Were At Home Watching Steel Magnolias
Unlike the other two soaps that had continuity in the head writer position, Chris Van Etten and Dan O’Connor were on strike for the past five months. Unnamed scabs wrote GH while they were out. I could make an educated guess about the individuals who were likely writing the show, but I’m going to refrain. It isn’t uncommon for a soap to just not have writing credits during a strike. During the 2007-2008 strike, both Days of our Lives and Guiding Light didn’t have writing credits.
You could feel the change in writing from the start of the scab material. It had that new regime energy where the last head writers got fired and the new people were coming in to fix the bullshit. Scenes were longer and more character driven. Stories actually moved. Fans are so used to Chris and Dan shoving fries up their noses and spinning in a circle that seeing actual story movement on GH was surprising.
Spencer and Trina are actually about to fuck. I believe 100% that if Chris and Dan’s material was airing right now, they’d be still talking about Esme and that damn baby and holding hands like the gays in Heartstopper. It is beyond pathetic that writers could take so long with a couple that uncredited scabs had to write the first love scene for such a popular couple. Perhaps Chris and Dan should go back home and watch Steel Magnolias and drink their juice. Fans would be willing to send snacks and adult coloring books. We could buy them a seesaw. What whimsical fun they could have not writing this show!
Stay In Llanview
I watched One Life to Live for a decade. I don’t care what these scabs say. Blair wouldn’t marry Martin, and she certainly wouldn’t cheat with David Vickers. I suspect these scabs are familiar enough with OLTL to know that Blair and David hated each other. Blair also wouldn’t fuck her Aunt Dorian’s husband. If they had said Blair had fucked one of Kelly’s men, that would make sense. There’s a whole list of men they could have said. I would buy Blair having a butler threesome with Nigel and his cousin Neville before I’d believe she’d open her mouth for David Vickers’ waxed balls.
Charlotte The Menace
It makes perfect sense that Charlotte would act out and hate Anna. Her mother Lulu has been in a coma for three years. Valentin has been more concentrated on Anna than her. She had Nina encouraging her bullying under the guise of being a girlboss. Charlotte also has that Cassadine DNA. If she were sweet, it would be a waste. Spencer is a Cassadine, but his biggest character flaw is classism and they had to dial that back for Trina to date him. It is good to have one young Cassadine being an absolute menace.
Send Josh Griffith Home To Watch Steel Magnolias
With the strike officially over, there’s no reason for Josh Griffith to have a job anymore. His fi-core status meant they couldn’t replace him during the strike. Now there’s a bunch of broke writers hungry for a job that would love that sweet head writer salary. Josh has had the job since 2019, which is longer than any other Y&R head writer in the past 20 years. It is time for a change.
I don’t think you can have one person doing every job. He’s executive producer, head writer and writer of the breakdowns. He fired the breakdown writers before the strike so it is still going to be him writing them even with the strike over. It is too much work and power for one person. Soaps are a collaborative effort. I want an actual writing team on Y&R. Not one man who thinks he can do it all like he’s the heroine of a 2000’s romcom.
LinkedIn: The Series
If you just stopped watching for a month and tuned back in, the only thing you would miss is people changing job titles. That’s the story movement on Y&R. “Who is going to be CEO of Dipshit Media? Oh, Kyle got fired and now he’s a rodeo clown with an Onlyfans page. Adam is cleaning the floors of Newman Enterprises with his butt. Esther is a greeter at Walmart now.” I’m tired of it.
If “business” stories are just going to be musical chairs with job titles, I don’t want them. I would welcome a shift to more personal drama stories. Let’s have people cheating more. Have a crazy person locking characters in cages! Anything to get me away from LinkedIn: The Series.
The Triangle No One Wanted
Why is Sharon in a triangle with a woman who exists because her ex-husband Nick cheated on her? I can accept weird situations on soaps and there’s a finite amount of characters so the list of people who have fucked each other is going to be similar, but come on. Let Summer have Chance, and Sharon can move on with something else. Summer could clearly use some dick to keep her off of bad CGI roller coasters.
Can We Keep Mamie? Please?
One thing the show is doing right is the return of Mamie. It was nice to see Veronica Redd during the 50th anniversary, but it made me want more. Mamie returning and using the million dollars that Jill paid her to leave town to fuck Jill over is beautiful. I love it when characters are allowed to hate the people they should hate. Soaps tend to have this urge to have characters let go of grudges and play nice with people they should despise. I appreciate Mamie being allowed to be petty. So I guess thank you to Josh Griffith for that.
Dispatches From Soap Land
*GH having a 27 year old play Molly is a soap miracle. I thought the show would be stubborn and insist on keeping 39 year old Brooke Anne Smith in the role, but they listened to fans. Now Molly doesn’t look older than Kristina and like she’s the same age as Sam. I don’t know what the hell they were thinking with that.
*I hope this “Alex is Victor’s son” shit on Days is a fake out and Xander is really Victor’s son. Alex is a flop, and making him Victor’s son isn’t going to fix it.
*Finn on B&B really needs a friend. Pick someone because it really feels like his only friend is his own mother. Li is great, but he should have someone else to talk to.
