MY WORST MOVIE GOING EXPERIENCE OF THE YEAR
Seeing Hercules in a Brand New Smug Movie Theater
As if this film didn’t suck enough, I tried this new hoity-toity movie theater where you can order drinks and food right at your seat, and there are blankets and wide leather seats and crap. The ticket price was ridiculous, and I don’t even think the leather seats were that comfortable. Also, the people who worked there were rude as hell. When I asked one of the employees where the bathroom was, he couldn’t be more annoyed at pointing me in the right direction. Excuse me. My apologies for having to take a piss at your pristine establishment. I’m embarrassed to tell you how much I paid for their popcorn, which had sea salt on it. Ooooooooo, good for you. Sea salt popcorn. The guy who ripped my ticket stub didn’t even say anything. No “Down to your right,” no “Enjoy the film.” He just aggressively tore my ticket and sort of made a nudge.
On top of all that, the movie was blurry at times. All this hoopla and you can’t even show the film properly. I thought about complaining afterwards, but sensing what the management staff was like, there was no way I was getting a refund. I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of me complaining. That place blew serious bags.
- People laughed too much at the jokes in Need for Speed
- After X-Men: Days of Future Past ended, some college age douchebag proclaimed the film to be “the worst he’d ever seen.” How dare he.
- At The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby, some jackass yelled at someone to “quiet down.” The person literally crumbled a bag of popcorn during the trailers. I’m annoyed at too much noise at the movies as much as anybody, but let’s calm down, sir.
- People laughing at inappropriate times during Nightcrawler.